Krisd

Yesterday I posted that had had not told anyone my plan to get sober and ultimately it was what lead me to failing. And someone politely suggested I make a plan and another suggested I at least tell my husband. To you both-Thank you!

I sat with it for a long time last night trying to figure out why I did not want to admit to anyone I have a problem. In my head I admitted it to myself- why do I need to tell anyone else?

Ego...my big fat jerky ego. It has not allowed me to humble myself to a very common human problem of addiction. Addiction to food, drugs, love, alcohol, etc. There seems to be a spiritual struggle we all face to stand in our truth of self and not have a crutch. But yet somehow I want to seem above this condition. Somehow I wanted to be more actualized then to be someone with a "problem".

I never thought I was someone who had a problem with being humble. I thought I was in connection with the notion that we are a collective consciousness. But when i sat last night facing my secrecy, I realized it was not out of shame but out of thinking I was "better then that" . Then I was ashamed. Ashamed I put myself in a "higher class" sort of.

So my apologies go out to each person here because somehow I came to this page unconsciously thinking I was not you.

I did not drink yesterday and am not in the mood today either. I will tell my husband. I will sit in humility. Thanks

jerri11

I sat on the fence for a while about telling anyone too. But I didn't really start to get anywhere with the problem until I started talking about it with the people that matter the most to me.

I told my husband, grown children, a couple of very close friends and my doctor. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I haven't regretted it at all. It was actually a relief to have it all out in the open. It has also helped me to be more accountable, not to them necessarily, but to myself. Same with reading and posting on SR.

I'm glad you're going to talk to him. And congrats on staying sober. Keep stringing those days together.

Hawks

Tell everyone "I have an opportunity to get sober "

No problem

Sasha4

I think there are different ways to approach telling that certain 'somebody'.

For me those certain somebodies are people that suffer the same as me.
They understand the same as me.
They have experienced the same as me.

For me they were fellow addicts I met and confided in.
I never really stated what I was.
I still have a problem with the word 'alcoholic'.
I don't seem to have a problem saying that alcohol brings nothing but trouble to my life.
That I cannot drink safely in any given amount.
I don't mind one bit stating that alcohol makes me unhappy and the people I love unhappy.

I never made any grand, sweeping statements.
I never made any promises to anyone regarding drinking.

I would advise you to think carefully about who you tell.
Don't rush.
Think it through.
Think about what YOU want to gain from telling someone - such as gain a confidante? A source of advice?

I wouldn't worry about your intentions coming here and what you thought you were and were not.
No-one wants to be that word I can't say.
Everyone wants to find that special trigger or reason why they drink.
No-one wants to admit they are just a common variety of drunk.
I wanted to be a special 'drunk'.
There were far more tragic and serious reasons why I drank that defined me from the drunks we know and have an image of.
No-one wants to admit they are a drunk simply because they drink too much and thats the long and short of it.

It nice having you with us.
I wish you the best.
xx

doggonecarl

If I never told anybody I was quitting, I was, in effect, leaving the door open to drink again. And no one the wiser.

Sasha4

Also you are not a jerk.

Its drink that makes you act and think like a jerk.

It did me too.

xx

Dee74

I second the notion that you are not a jerk

D