4MyMel

I know I need to quit. I drink on the weekends for the most part, but I drink too much and do things I shouldn't be doing.

I had an eating disorder in HS, which I finally broke free from about 6 years ago, which, consequently is the same time I really started drinking a lot - although I was drinking enough before then too. In my 20s, I went through the eating, the drinking, the depression etc. I finally met the love of my life (6 years ago) and the depression and food issues left me almost over night. I did go to therapy at that time, so that helped as well. However, the drinking never went away, and even got worse.

Where I am stuck now, is that I don't even know why I drink anymore. I'm not depressed - I'm at the happiest time of my life. I don't suffer any physical symptoms that I can tell anyway. I do fine during the week. I haven't hit a rock bottom, haven't had my drinking really affect anything in my life. I have a good job where I excel.

Why is it that when Friday rolls around, I go to the liquor store and wake up Monday morning? I feel the need for it, only on the weekends, but why, I have no idea!

I don't really want to stop drinking, but I know I can't go on like this forever because I will be dead. I wake up terrified the day after I drinking thinking that this is the day my liver or some other part of my body gives out.

Looking to hear any ones stories that maybe can relate. Thanks.

4MyMel

I maybe should have posted in the Alcoholism forum. Mods please move if need be, thank you.

Nonsensical

I drank because I was an alcoholic. That reason was not good enough for me for a long time. I questioned my actions all the time and tried to find other reasons for them that made more sense. Like, I must be self-sabotaging or I must be a pathological liar.

In reality, I was addicted to alcohol and it made me feel compelled to drink it.

Hope you find your answers!

thomas11

Hi 4mymel, I'm in exactly the same boat. I was a daily drinker years ago and thought the weekend thing was an improvement. Its not. Like you I have no reason to drink, I'm perfectly happy and healthy (so far). Decided yesterday I'm going to really try and commit to sobriety. We can do this.

ScottFromWI

Welcome 4mymel. Many of us can relate, your story is a very common one. Whether you are a binge drinker, an every day drinker, a "home" drinker, a "social" drinker, or any kind of drinker....if it is causing problems in your life you need to consider not drinking at all.

None of us wanted to stop drinking either, that is the nature of addiction. And regarding "rock bottom", the only real rock bottom is death, which does happen. So it's not really a good idea to compare your drinking or your "bottom" to others. The real question you have to ask yourself is if you feel that drinking is a problem for you. We can't tell you if you are an alcoholic, but I can tell you that drinking all weekend to blackout is definitely not normal or healthy drinking behavior - espeically if you are doing it every weekend.

doggonecarl

That's an interesting perspective for someone who's be a member of SR for years...and who has been struggling with their drinking, or at least struggling to stay stopped, for the entire time.

Drinking takes it toll, sooner or later. Don't wait to long to figure that out.

4MyMel

This is the part that scares me. I KNOW THIS. Every time I make that decision to drink, I think "oh well I'll stop next weekend or next month or after that vacation or whatever." It never happens obviously.

How do educated, intelligent adults get trapped by this. It makes me so angry.

After I get over that Monday morning hang over, it seems like no harm no fowl so why not do it all over again next weekend.

doggonecarl

It's why it is referred to as the insanity of alcoholism. Drinking is illogical. People get trapped because drinking is like the Chinese finger puzzle. The harder you try to get out, the stronger it holds you. For many drinkers, the struggle is accepting that they can never drink. They fight against the idea. Or they want to understand their drinking. Futile.

Just as drinking is illogical, not drinking is very logical. Commit to not drinking. Stop fighting it. Embrace the sober life.