Still drinking
 

I'm on a binge. Drank to blackout yesterday. Doing the same today. And end it tomorrow.

The following is hard to understand for people who don't have the disease, but my OCD makes it so I feel like I have to drink until Monday. If I quit on a Sunday, something terrible will happen. My OCD also says that I cannot continue Monday. It has to be my sober date.

i have OCD myself so i understand ...you have to tell yourself to think logically
nothing bad will happen ... you will be ok
its ok to stop drinking today ...are you on any medication for your OCD ?

I hear a lot of AV in your statement there DK3.

I understand because I used to do exactly the same. Push my binges to the last drop of Alcohol I could get in me, push to the last minute. Then monday would come, I would think I would die at work, survive, then have a few Monday. Rinse and repeat.

Break he cycle, you can do this!

Perhaps it's time to seek professional help DK3. OCD is a very treatable condition, but only if you stop drinking first. So since you can't stop on your own, you may need to very seriously consider supervised inpatient detox. You will most likely lose everything if you keep drinking to blackout every day, why not give yourself a fighting chance?

Just like Patman, I understand. Break the cycle and you will be glad you did!

DK3 how about tomorrow you spend the day on SR rather than drinking

Were all here for you try and get some rest dont continue to drink bud

You can do this

I'm on Remeron, Valium and Lexapro. And I've had intensive treatment. I'm one of the unfortunate ones who is treatment-resistant.

drinking alcohol may reduce the medications from working

The sooner you stop, the sooner you'll start feeling better.
I won't sugar-coat the fact that the first few days can be tough,
however the rewards are a hundredfold.
Better sleep, better overall functionality, better food consumption,
better health, higher energy level, less anxiety, less worry,
$ saved for better things than poison, and the list goes on.
When tomorrow arrives, it will no longer be tomorrow;
it will then be today.

Most likely your drinking counteracts or reduces the effectiveness of all these drugs, and it potentially makes everything worse. Is the doctor that prescribed them aware of the extreme amounts that you drink?

Actually, they work better. Alcohol increases the effect of the drugs. And my doctor is not aware of my current situation but does know about all my alcohol problems before this.

I'd suggest letting your doctor know about your current situation then.

I will do so Monday. OCD is difficult to understand for people who don't have it. But I've stocked up until Monday and Monday I'm free. Not for real, since it will still be OCD, but my OCD tells me that I am not allowed to drink after tomorrow.

Definitely do see your Dr. You may think alcohol increases the effects but I think you may be confusing the buzz for respite.

Drinking with remeron and lexapro is not recommended, and it's actually prohibited with valium - it's a dangerous mix.

D

Your OCD told you that you were to stop yesterday too. And a day last week. In both cases you kept drinking anyway. The bottom line is that you control when you stop drinking. Either you make the decision to stop and do it, or you make the decision to go someplace that will help you do it.

Not to be alarmist, but you are literally flirting with disaster here. Your drinking has escalated to alarming levels and your current plan is to hole up with a stockpile of Alcohol and drink until Monday. And take a lot of other meds on top of that. Please let someone know who can at least check on your physical well being if nothing else. '

I know. I've had experience with the combination for years. It has caused my breathing to stop in the past, so now I'm dosing all of it in safe doses.

The bigger problem here might be: I don't care about my life. I don't care if I live or die. I'm living like I will die soon and don't care anymore. I have a lot of potential and ambitions, but reality is such that I cannot live at least a hint of the live I want.

I think I will have to ask for treatment Monday when I call my doc. But I won't. I already know that. I'm fairly certain I won't even call, as long as I stay sober.

I think everyone has felt this way...on booze.

It took me more than a month but gradually my perspective shifted I began to believe in my self worth and I very much cared whether I loved or died.

There must be a little flicker of that in you already or you wouldn't be here asking for help.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. I hope you make the call :)

D

That flicker is gone for me. Sober or drunk. I hate myself. I'm a loser beyond belief. I will drink until Monday and then see what happens.

Dude you are playing with fire. The drinking is not enhancing any of those meds and I have been on all of them. At least if you quit drinking you give them a chance to work as they should and you may eventually get to a place that your ocd is manageable. You also need to be honest with your Dr about your drinking because I don't think any responsible health care provider would be giving you valium. Your ocd may tell you to stop Mon but what happens when it changes its mind Tuesday.

It sounds like you're in a lot of pain right now, and for that I'm very sorry to hear DK3.

In spite of the fact that you are in pain and drinking, you still brought yourself to SR where you know support exists. And that really does show an inner strength you should be proud of.

Please be safe and remember you can decide at any moment to pour the rest out and start living a healthy life.

Best wishes to you.