Della1968

I had a hotdog...

Gonnachange

Thanks SW.

A couple of weeks ago for the first time since around August I made hot dogs for dinner. :-) Now that I think about it, it was during that really cold spell in late Feb. and I made the dogs and baked beans as a little reminder of summer BBQ's to come.

Hope you enjoyed the dog!

Della1968

I actually did...it was Hoffman's. Probably a NY thing

Gonnachange

I think it is a NY thing, but I know some foodie friends who don't live near you who have written about Hoffman's which leads me to believe that they also have a mail order option. FWIW, I had Thumann's.

SoberLeigh

It's spaghetti and meatballs here for dinner tomorrow!!!!

Glad to hear that things are going well.

Goodnight, Gonnachange and Friends of Gonnachange.

Gonnachange

Had an anxiety filled sleep and today, while not anxious, I can't stop thinking about not drinking. It's taking up too much mental capital, much as it did some time last week. About the only time I wasn't thinking of alcohol was when I was lifting weights this morning. I'm trying to bury myself in work and also take care of some other tasks that need attending, but I can't seem to muster the energy to channel my thinking.

It's not that I necessarily want a drink or want to get drunk because I don't. I just don't want to have to think about it just as I don't think about not using every other drug, whether I've used in the past or not. Before this turns into a full blown whine-fest I'll end this post.

Gonnachange

Dinner tonight is going to be Ricotta Chicken Pie. I made a batch a few weeks ago with the big modification being that I used a casserole dish and not pie a pie crust. I froze the leftovers and will be reheat later. Two days in a row of leftovers. :-)

Struggling with the day; even though I had a fine workout I've just been feeling lethargic and unmotivated. Very unlike me.

SoberLeigh

The feeling of lethargy (and foggy-brain) stayed, significantly, with me until about six months at which time both began to gradually lift. Lethargy and foggy-brain are not uncommon in early sobriety. Have faith, it will pass but 'in time' - how much time seems to vary from person to person.

I experienced quite a bit of 'drinking thinking' early on, also, that focused on sober-time, exposure to alcohol, etc. Once you grow your sober-skin, these thoughts will dramatically reduce in frequency and intensity.

Gonnachange

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Soberwolf

Your pie sounds awesome GC & soberleigh is totally awesome

Gonnachange

Correction:The pie is very good; SoberLeigh is totally awesome.

SoberLeigh

You are both very sweet, SW and Gonnachange.

Gonnachange

Only writing the truth.

Last Night

I had a few drinks last night. It seems I have to write one of these every week; I start getting some traction and then tire from fighting the good fight. Rinse and repeat.

Aside from tiring, which I guess is another way of saying that I listened to my AV, why did I drink last night? I don't know; there were no external drivers or anything out of the ordinary going on. What am I going to change going forward? Right now I'm not sure, but I can write that I'm in some odd fashion refreshed and feel I'm in better shape to battle any urges or other AV attempts today than I was yesterday.

Time to get back to work.

calikidd

Let the church say amen

Soberwolf

Whats on the menu today GC ? ive marinated some ribs not sure to rice or potato wedges/Chunky oven chips ?

spk soon bud

EndGameNYC

If you're drinking for no apparent reason, or for no reason at all, then you need to add something substantial to your recovery program, GC.

Gonnachange

Tonight's going to be eggplant curry served over rice. Not sure what type of rice yet.

As for you, I'd go with the potatoes, but either way you can't go wrong.

Hi EndGame. You write the truth. My plan is still a work in progress; I'll be the first to admit that. I also recognize the context. When I joined SR last June I was drinking everyday. I reduced my consumption, but didn't stick around long and in my 5-6 month absence from here I drank almost every day. Since returning I'm drinking about once per week and I'm not talking about blackout type stuff. I think the previous time I had alcohol before last night I had one drink.

That said, my goal is not once per week, it's zero so while I do have to work on that I know that I'm making strides.

SoberLeigh

Gonnachange, I have not utilized this myself but I have read here at SR where others have completed the SMART Recovery worksheets that you can find on-line with a simple Google (SMART Recovery Worksheets) search.

I would attach the link but I am not sure if it violates the SR link policies.

BlindsidedBetty

Hola Gonnachange, I've been following your thread for awhile. I appreciate your honesty. Your ability to control yourself is similar to my journey , but unfortunately, so is your obsession. It's exhausting, no? So much brain energy dedicated to staying between the lines. I have been successful in everything I have ever attempted, and now, at 40, I am learning genuine humility. A much needed virtue I might add! Thank you for sharing your stories. (And thanks to all of the SR angels who hover over you).

Soberwolf

Thank GC your dinner sounds fantastic i did go with the potatoes funny enough

spk soon bud