Gonnachange

Thanks Della. No reason that it shouldn't be a good time.

Gonnachange

Had a fine time last night with no urges to have anything to drink although I was at a bar. We were there for about 2.5 hours and I nursed a club soda with lime. Tonight we're going to a small dinner party, which in some ways is more of a lion's den for me, but I'm keeping my eye on the ball. I want to wake up tomorrow with the same clear headed and refreshed feeling I did today and feel good enough that if need be I could run 7.5 miles like I did this morning.

Gonnachange

It's late, so I may not be waking up as refreshed as I expressed in my previous post, but I'll be going to bed sober as I had nothing stronger than water at the dinner party. There were six people in total and I knew that one of the attendees did not drink and as it turned out one of the people that I met for the first time did not either so I didn't stand out in the small crowd. Not that doing so would have made a difference to me.

Gonnachange

Nothing much to report, which I guess is a good thing. I got through the weekend okay-ish, but too often I've let my guard down early in the week.

Soberwolf

GC what do you mean 'let your guard down' are you tapering ?

I know your goal is complete abstinence have you started that ?

SoberLeigh

Hi'ya, GC; I'm still not feeling too well.

Thinking of, and rooting for, you as always.

Stay strong, my friend.

Gonnachange

No, I am not tapering, but attempting to stick with my, "I do not drink." mantra. My reference to letting my guard down is that more than once lately, all documented here, I've gotten through the social weekends abstaining and then wound up having a drink or two in the early part of the work week. I hope this clarifies; if not let me know.

SL, sorry to read that you're still not fully recovered. It's been weeks and that's too long.

I'm going to be in your state next Sunday; my wife and I are running a 10 mile race in Philly that our son is coming to watch and afterward we're going to drive him back to school.

Thanks for the support.

Soberwolf

Thanks GC yes it clarify's i like your mantra sorry i wasnt sure no offence was meant bud

Are you going to mtns or have you got a sober plan ?

ps hope your smoked egg recipe went well & way to go on the 10 mile race another 3 miles & thats a half marathon good luck GC

Gonnachange

SW, no offense taken; it was a legitimate question to ask.

As for a plan, no meetings. I'm going the SR and AVRT route. As is well known, I've not been perfect, but I'm much better than I was and still striving.

Thanks about the race. It's an odd distance for a race and the first ten miler I've ever done. I've done double digits amounts of both marathons and half marathons so ordinarily this distance wouldn't be too hard, but my asthma has really curtailed my training ability and has caused me to only sign up for one other race this year, a half marathon in the fall. Depending upon how my breathing is I have some fall marathons I'm eyeing.

The egg experiment was a disappointment. I'll write about it in the Recipe thread that we're both involved with. Thanks for asking about the outcome as well as what my plan is and for the good wishes for next weekend's race.

SoberLeigh

Hey, what's shakin', GC?

Gonnachange

Earlier today I was prepping for a very small dinner party (4 people) I'm hosting tonight and I while in the midst of doing so I started having trouble breathing, my heart started pounding, and my fine motor skills started becoming not so fine because my hands were shaking. My anxiety started rising and I knew I was about to enter the negative feedback loop that I sometimes experience. To make matters worse, while this was going on I got a call from my pulmonologist telling me that it was time to get another CT scan to determine if the nodule on my lung as changed. If that wasn't enough (it was, believe me) my kitchen sink started leaking from the spray attachment. I REALLY wanted something to drink, but I'm happy to report that I didn't have anything other than club soda. I took a couple of hits from my emergency inhaler, grabbed a wrench, fixed the sink issue, and the feeling of accomplishment, small as it was, helped to start calming me down. I'm feeling okay right now, but I'm exhausted.

SoberLeigh

Good grief, GC - what a day!!!!!!

I am waiting for a call from the consult team at a pulmonologist's office today, too. seems as though I somehow missed that step prior to my last and cancelled appointment.

I have been buddy-buddy with my rescue inhaler, too - way too buddy-buddy.

Gonnachange

Thanks for chiming in SL and I'm sorry that you're having respiratory issues also.

I've known for months that I would have to take another CT scan this month and I came to terms with it, but now that I'm on the cusp of getting updated information it's suddenly more "real" if that makes any sense, which is making me anxious. My pulmonologist felt after my last scan that she was 99% sure the lung nodule was benign and she also didn't believe it had anything to do with the re-emergence of my long dormant asthma.

Della1968

Oh gosh hope you both feel better and get some positive results

SoberLeigh

I totally understand, GC. I hope that your next scan can put your mind totally to rest.

Gonnachange

Thanks Della. My appointment with the pulmonologist is on the 14th, so I'll schedule the scan for a few days before that. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thanks SL. The protocol, so I'm told, is to follow the nodule for about 2.5 years and if there's been no change in that time then I'm in the clear. Right now I'm 6 months into that.

While not diminishing what a bad report will mean, for now my day to day concern is more about just being able to breathe properly. Some days are fine, some are not and since I'm a runner/cyclist who keeps records of his activity I know that I have fallen off a cliff in terms of performance in the past 18 months when I first started having asthma issues again. Just as with the lifting, I'm still keeping at it, but getting used to my new reality is difficult. That said, I know that I'm in a more fortunate position than many folks so I'm in no manner complaining or whining.

Dee74

Wishing you the best GonnaChange

D

Gonnachange

Thank you Dee.

Confession

I had a glass of champagne last night, but after that nothing other than club soda for the six hours that my dinner guests were here. I'll be 100% compliant today.

My wife and I are leaving in about a hour to go to Philadelphia where we'll be running a race tomorrow morning. We'll be coming home Sunday night after spending some time with my son who is coming from college to watch us run (and get a nice non school cafeteria dinner and a chance to stay in a nice hotel :-))

Soberwolf

Have a nice weekend GC keep trying

1 drink is too many 1000 is never enough

For me to finally stop drinking i had to accept that i couldnt drink safely or responsibly

GC dont for a second let your AV fool you

Its active otherwise you wouldnt of had 'just the 1'

im not being harsh but identifying the AV is really important imo

Dont let your AV stay active and counter it with sober positivity

Calitano

Hope you enjoy Philly - best of luck with the race.