Gonnachange

The longest period was about two years ago when I went 100 days to support my ABIL, who is not the BIL that hosted yesterday. The host yesterday and I decided to jointly do it and it worked like a charm....for us. The supportee never stopped and has continued to drink.

SoberLeigh

That was a great thing that you did to support the ABIL, GC.

How did you feel during those 100 days?

Gonnachange

Thanks. He's very fortunate to have a lot of support from his family. We've tried what I've described, had dry family parties, arranged interventions, sent him to rehab, paid for counseling, etc. All to no avail. He's currently almost 50, been out of work for over 3 years due to being fired from a job he had for almost 20 because he was drunk, and is living in a room in his parent's (my inlaws) basement.

I felt good and it really wasn't that hard. Maybe because prior to stopping then I wasn't drinking as much as I have recently been doing, maybe because I knew it was for a finite period, maybe because I was doing it to support someone who I love and was in bad shape, or a combination of all of the aforementioned. Or none of it, I can't say, but I do know that I haven't come close to 100 days this time around.

SoberLeigh

Sad story about your BIL. I hope that someday he succeeds.

Although I cannot attest to it (as I was the Queen of Queens of Day1s), from reading here on SR it seems that each quits become more problematic. Only once did I get to four days (and no Day 2s or Day 3s except for those building up to the one Day 4). It wasn't until I reached the point where a life with alcohol became more frightening than a life without alcohol.

Gonnachange

Thanks for your good wishes. With the exception of his parents kicking him out of their house the family members have individually and collectively done everything we can think of to help him. Unfortunately, as I wrote earlier, we have not been effective. It's very sad because he's a really nice guy who is smart, social, funny, and before the drinking became problematic in fine shape and a very good athlete. Sometimes there are glimmers or short periods where those traits show up, but more and more often they are now hidden and what we see is an angry middle aged man who continues to make poor decisions. His story has many parallels to others stories I've read on SR. Ironically, I'm currently having a Facebook message exchange with him and a few minutes ago he apologized to me for drinking too much yesterday. Based on what transpired I should be pretty darn low on the list of people he needs to make amends to for his behavior yesterday; not sure who else he has reached out to and I'm not going to ask anyone other than my wife when she gets home. Like you wrote, sad.

One could make a reasonable argument that I did myself a disservice on a number of levels yesterday because nothing bad happened. I agree, but am not buying into the thesis that I "proved" I can drink normally. So, I'm at Day 1 again because of two beers and will move on.

As everyone who reads here knows I haven't strung together a meaningful number of sober days, but I can slowly discern changes that are moving me away from the habit of drinking alone during the week. IOW, the association between settling down in the evening and having a cocktail is becoming untethered and while I often have to consciously think about avoidance, hopefully in the not too distant future it will just be automatic.

SoberLeigh

I just realized that I must have backspaced over or erased the words "that I was finally able to succeed" from the end of my post.

I definitely believe that you will succeed, GC.

Gonnachange

Thanks for you confidence.

Even without those missing seven words your intent was clear.

Gonnachange

Off to bed soon and I'm glad to write that it's been a sober evening, just as I thought it would be. Some book club book reading before hitting the hay tonight and then a business meeting at 8 AM tomorrow to get the day started.

melki

Whatcha readin'?

Gonnachange

Ghettoside by Jill Leovy.

It's about homicides among the African American community in one of the poor sections of Los Angeles and how the LA PD and some highlighted detectives deal with it. I'm only about a quarter of the way through the book, but am finding the narrative of the book very interesting.

Anytime you want to swap book suggestions, just let me know.

Gonnachange

Getting through the Day 2 okay, but drinking in the middle of the afternoon was never my problem. I'd like to write that I got a good run done this morning, but my asthma has been very problematic of late so I just walked after my meeting this morning. Meh.

Before last night I hadn't cooked dinner in three days, but last night we had grilled chicken with a side of French cut string beans. Tonight I'm making a meatloaf with a side of corn and tomorrow I'm leaning toward making eggplant rollatini with a salad. I'm currently defrosting a batch of sauce I previously made.

In other food/sobriety news, we're hosting a dinner party for 8 people, including me and my wife, on Saturday and just as I've had a number of Day 1's with sobriety I've had Day 1's with my finalized menu. Don't know why I'm making so many changes, but after tomorrow the die is cast because I'm shopping on Thursday. Two of the people live over 2 hours away and another 2 live about 1.5 hours away so they're going to sleep over. The other couple, who live about 15 minutes from here, will go home and then come back the next morning for breakfast. I had a conversation with one of the guests yesterday and explicitly stated that I wasn't drinking. She was a little inquisitive, not in a pushy manner, and I told her the truth. The whole thing was very brief. Whether the topic comes up on Saturday remains to be seen, but even if it does I know that nobody is going to try and persuade me to drink, even in a light hearted way.

Soberwolf

Congrats GC

Gonnachange

Thank you SW.

SoberLeigh

Hi, GC; Happy Tuesday.

Gonnachange

Hi SoberLeigh. How are you feeling today? Better, I hope.

SoberLeigh

Thanks; I was feeling better but I feel as though the bug is taking a second shot at me. Grrrrr.

Gonnachange

Bummer! Hydrate and get plenty of rest.

SoberLeigh

Will do. Hubs and I are hoping to head out to warmer climes next week - no set destination yet - see where the winds blow us (ha - 60s/70s style).

Gonnachange

Nice!

SoberLeigh

Eggplant tonight??????