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Old 03-12-2015, 10:01 AM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
Gonnachange, I have not utilized this myself but I have read here at SR where others have completed the SMART Recovery worksheets that you can find on-line with a simple Google (SMART Recovery Worksheets) search.

I would attach the link but I am not sure if it violates the SR link policies.
Thanks SL. I'll look into it.

Originally Posted by BlindsidedBetty View Post
Hola Gonnachange, I've been following your thread for awhile. I appreciate your honesty. Your ability to control yourself is similar to my journey , but unfortunately, so is your obsession. It's exhausting, no? So much brain energy dedicated to staying between the lines. I have been successful in everything I have ever attempted, and now, at 40, I am learning genuine humility. A much needed virtue I might add! Thank you for sharing your stories. (And thanks to all of the SR angels who hover over you).
Yes, it's exhausting because it's not second nature. Yet. We're facing a tough adversary, but I can be very persistent.

I agree, the SR community is great.

Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Thank GC your dinner sounds fantastic i did go with the potatoes funny enough

spk soon bud
Thanks SW. I think I wrote earlier that both of my college age kids were coming home for the weekend. My daughter who loves curries came home a day early and was thrilled when I told her what I was making tonight. My son, who doesn't enjoy the cuisine and is coming home tomorrow as originally planned, will not care that he missed tonight's dinner.
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Old 03-12-2015, 02:25 PM
  # 182 (permalink)  
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I wrote earlier that my daughter came home a day earlier than expected from college. The reason is that she's sick and was advised by the nurse at the school she's student teaching at and the nurse at her college's health center to not teach or attend her classes tomorrow. So she came home. We've chatted, took a 45 minute walk, and right now she's sleeping on the living room couch. She's feeling safe in the sanctuary of home that my wife and I have tried very hard to create. A few minutes ago I gazed on her and could see the little girl that she used to be. Now she's a young adult, but she'll always be my little girl. She's smart, about two months short of graduating with an Ivy League education with about a 3.9 GPA; mentally and physically tough; independent, having internationally traveled far more extensively than I have; and has more empathy than just about anyone I know. She done great things in her 22 plus years and I want to be around to experience what the coming decades will bring. That's what I'm going to bash my AV over the head with tonight if it shows up.

Sorry if this was a bit sappy, but I'll take motivation from wherever I can get it.
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Old 03-12-2015, 02:31 PM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Spoken like a proud father - sounds like very well-deserved praise.

Enjoy your time with her; it is precious.
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Old 03-12-2015, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
Spoken like a proud father - sounds like very well-deserved praise.

Enjoy your time with her; it is precious.
I AM a proud father because she gives me (and my wife) many reasons to feel so.

I'm very fortunate because the four of us enjoy spending time together. Clearly, they have their own lives that don't revolve around us and every day when we're together is not Shangri-La, so we're not a Stepford movie family, but in the grand scheme of things I have nothing to complain about.

Now that both of my kids are away for more than half the year I really value the time when they're home. That written when they're home on winter and summer breaks, for a while there's a period of adjustment because they're not used to living with parental rules and structure (will you be home for dinner?) and my wife and I are not used to the college hours (you're not going out until 11?) that they are used to keeping. None of that will be a factor this weekend as the focus is on being together as a family.
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:33 AM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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Last night me, my wife, and my daughter hung out after dinner. We had tea, water, and seltzer. A nice quiet evening with no cravings. I don't remember again having a bad night's sleep, but I'm exhausted today. Still, I'm getting my work done and made it to the gym in the mid morning. Honestly, I feel a little hung over. Thirsty, tired, a slight headache, and a little achy, but I was sober last night so I don't have to deal with the mental baggage of knowing that I made poor decisions. That's a win.

My son, who was supposed to come home this afternoon, decided against it because he has a very busy week coming up and doesn't want to catch his contagious sister's illness. We're all saddened by the change, but I can understand his decision. So tonight it's once again going to be the three of us. Dinner is going to be baked breaded chicken thighs with chipotle smashed sweet potatoes. I'm using bread crumbs that I made from some stale bread we had. A tasty and easy dinner and the components reheat well for leftovers. :-) Not sure what we'll be doing after dinner. Maybe listen to music although my wife and daughter have been talking about watching a movie. I'm fine with either as all of us being together will be helpful in me battling my AV, should it show up, trying to convince me it's okay to have "one" since it's Friday.
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:51 AM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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Sorry about your son, GC, but your lucky daughter gets her Mom and Dad all to herself! I'm off to a dinner party tonight and already have two big bottles of Pellegrino and a lime in my car for my imbibing. My Lent excuse has given me a rapid reply to my acquaintance circle, and I will pass the post-Easter bridges when they get here.

Thinking about signing up for an 8AM boot camp class just to add some fuel to my Pellegrino fire.

Have a great Friday with your daughter.
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Old 03-13-2015, 11:39 AM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BlindsidedBetty View Post
Sorry about your son, GC, but your lucky daughter gets her Mom and Dad all to herself! I'm off to a dinner party tonight and already have two big bottles of Pellegrino and a lime in my car for my imbibing. My Lent excuse has given me a rapid reply to my acquaintance circle, and I will pass the post-Easter bridges when they get here.

Thinking about signing up for an 8AM boot camp class just to add some fuel to my Pellegrino fire.

Have a great Friday with your daughter.
My son likely made the right decision given how many tests he has next week, but we all wish we were together. Such is life; there will be other opportunities when the stars are more aligned.

Having a good day with dear daughter. I've spent a good chunk of the day working, but I went to the gym with her in the morning and and in about a hour we're going for a walk, just as we did yesterday.

Go to that boot camp. :-) Knowing that I'm going to have to exercise the next morning has usually helped me either moderate or as of late eliminate my consumption.

Nice job on the bringing your beverage of choice to the party. Enjoy!
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Old 03-13-2015, 06:31 PM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Dinner went well. No surprises there.

We've hung out talking and are now going to start watching some movie that the women have decided on. Tea is about to be served. Not sure why, but writing stuff like this makes it easier for me to stay on plan.

Good night SR.
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Old 03-13-2015, 06:38 PM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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I used to go to a morning boot camp loved it!

Enjoy your daughter GC!
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Old 03-13-2015, 06:42 PM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Della1968 View Post
I used to go to a morning boot camp loved it!

Enjoy your daughter GC!
Getting that early morning exercise done gets the day off to a fine start.

Della, thanks for your post. It's been a good time with my daughter today.
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Old 03-13-2015, 06:47 PM
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Glad that your weekend is off to a good start, Gonnachange. Sorry that your son didn't make it home but he does sound very pressed for time - good practice for the real world!!!!

Della, Gonnachange, have a good weekend.
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Old 03-13-2015, 06:50 PM
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You too girlie!
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Old 03-13-2015, 09:00 PM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
Glad that your weekend is off to a good start, Gonnachange. Sorry that your son didn't make it home but he does sound very pressed for time - good practice for the real world!!!!

Della, Gonnachange, have a good weekend.
Thanks SW. I agree about his decision and despite his absence the weekend is off to a good start. Just finished watching Pleasantville with my wife and daughter. There was seltzer involved. :-)

Good night.
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Old 03-14-2015, 04:36 AM
  # 194 (permalink)  
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Have a great weekend GC
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Old 03-14-2015, 06:31 AM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Have a great weekend GC
Thanks and the same to you. Already been a productive morning and in a hour or so me, my wife, and my daughter will be going to the gym.
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Old 03-15-2015, 10:52 AM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Tough one today. My stomach hurts, I'm jittery, my breathing stinks, etc. My AV is reminding me that whatever withdrawal symptoms I'm experiencing can be eased by drinking, we all know the foolishness of that path. I've been doing some reading here and also spending time with my daughter, who will be home for another two hours, and my wife. I also went for a hilly 3 mile run this morning. I would really like to end this day, but it's only 2 PM.
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Old 03-15-2015, 11:53 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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You are so absolutely right, Gonnachange; your AV lies; my AV lies; all AVs lie. Let him know you are on to him.
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Old 03-15-2015, 01:42 PM
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I hope you're not using your daughter's leaving "in two hours" as a countdown to when you can drink "safely."
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Old 03-15-2015, 02:46 PM
  # 199 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
You are so absolutely right, Gonnachange; your AV lies; my AV lies; all AVs lie. Let him know you are on to him.
I'm physically not as bad as when I first posted as posting here during the worst seems to be my M.O., but my vigilance is high and my AV radar is on high alert. Thanks for the support. Again. :-)

Originally Posted by EndGameNYC View Post
I hope you're not using your daughter's leaving "in two hours" as a countdown to when you can drink "safely."
ABSOLUTELY not and if I gave anyone that impression then it was poor phrasing on my part. The only reason I mentioned when she would be going back to college is because I've referred to her being home a few times since she came home on Thursday and I thought this would give the subject closure. Thanks for checking and I hope your sister is having a good day. I'll look around for the latest info after posting this.

Getting Through

So far I am. A short while after our daughter left, my wife and I went on a 2 mile walk because she needed an ingredient for some baking she's doing tonight. The camaraderie, cold air, and the act of moving helped keep my AV at bay and, more importantly, settle down some of the symptoms I've been dealing with.

Dinner is going to be an assortment of leftovers so I won't be spending a whole lot of labor intensive time in the kitchen tonight. Tomorrow's a different story. I'll probably do some reading tonight and look to make it an early one for reasons already written and the fact that I have a busy day tomorrow and want to hit the gym early.
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Old 03-15-2015, 02:53 PM
  # 200 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Gonnachange View Post
Originally Posted by EndGameNYC: "I hope you're not using your daughter's leaving "in two hours" as a countdown to when you can drink "safely."

ABSOLUTELY not and if I gave anyone that impression then it was poor phrasing on my part. The only reason I mentioned when she would be going back to college is because I've referred to her being home a few times since she came home on Thursday and I thought this would give the subject closure. Thanks for checking and I hope your sister is having a good day. I'll look around for the latest info after posting this.
No, you didn't imply that you were planning on drinking. I was just practicing some "preventive medicine."
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