Heroin to Alcohol. :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Gloucester, UK
Posts: 93
Heroin to Alcohol. :(
Hey everybody. I'm new here. I found this place whilst researching my problem on Google.
I started using heroin after leaving school with a big group of friends (4 of which are now dead). I started injecting after 3 months and I saught treatment after 4 years. I was prescribed methadone and stopped heroin on the first day of my treatment due to being at rock bottom. It then took me 5 months to reduce my methodone from 120ml down to 0ml. - I was drug free and the date was April 28th 2003.
I was almost 21 and had been through and seen a lot of bad things and crap. I wanted to get back to normal with my real friends who I had abandoned four years prior. They accepted me back with open arms and life began once again. It didn't take me long to realise that I had missed so much fun times, holidays, socialising etc with my friends. I wanted to make up for this. - I partied hard and as much as possible, and drank most nights with my friends. However, it soon became apparent that I was drinking far more than they were. By 2005 I realised that I was an alcoholic.
I'm currently drinking a bottle of vodka every night after work. I am happily married with 4 children, a nice house and an exec job. Somehow everything is very good. But I know I'm a ticking time bomb and very soon something will give, causing everything to come crashing down. It could be me driving to work the next morning (obviously still over the alcohol limit), it could be my wife leaving me, it could be my liver finally giving up..
Just to clarify, family life is great. Wifey is very concerned but I've drank ever since she's known me so I kinda fob her off saying 'it's fine, I've always drank like this darling'. - never ever been violent towards her or our kids.
Anybody out there in a similar situation?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I have babbled on a fair bit.. I feel so glad to have finally shared my dirty secret with somebody.
I started using heroin after leaving school with a big group of friends (4 of which are now dead). I started injecting after 3 months and I saught treatment after 4 years. I was prescribed methadone and stopped heroin on the first day of my treatment due to being at rock bottom. It then took me 5 months to reduce my methodone from 120ml down to 0ml. - I was drug free and the date was April 28th 2003.
I was almost 21 and had been through and seen a lot of bad things and crap. I wanted to get back to normal with my real friends who I had abandoned four years prior. They accepted me back with open arms and life began once again. It didn't take me long to realise that I had missed so much fun times, holidays, socialising etc with my friends. I wanted to make up for this. - I partied hard and as much as possible, and drank most nights with my friends. However, it soon became apparent that I was drinking far more than they were. By 2005 I realised that I was an alcoholic.
I'm currently drinking a bottle of vodka every night after work. I am happily married with 4 children, a nice house and an exec job. Somehow everything is very good. But I know I'm a ticking time bomb and very soon something will give, causing everything to come crashing down. It could be me driving to work the next morning (obviously still over the alcohol limit), it could be my wife leaving me, it could be my liver finally giving up..
Just to clarify, family life is great. Wifey is very concerned but I've drank ever since she's known me so I kinda fob her off saying 'it's fine, I've always drank like this darling'. - never ever been violent towards her or our kids.
Anybody out there in a similar situation?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I have babbled on a fair bit.. I feel so glad to have finally shared my dirty secret with somebody.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
I can say drugs were a problem for me before alcohol creeped up.
I take it the bottle you drink nightly is larger than 250 mls. You've come to the right place but you might consider additional help. You're right, seems clear something's gonna give sooner than later.
I had to stop drinking, and my life is much better for it.
You can too.
I take it the bottle you drink nightly is larger than 250 mls. You've come to the right place but you might consider additional help. You're right, seems clear something's gonna give sooner than later.
I had to stop drinking, and my life is much better for it.
You can too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR!
You made a big step by coming on here and admitting to yourself that your relationship with the bottle is not healthy. Best advice I could give you is having an honest talk with your doctor. They can give you something to safely detox. A bottle of Vodka a night is a lot.
Good luck!!
You made a big step by coming on here and admitting to yourself that your relationship with the bottle is not healthy. Best advice I could give you is having an honest talk with your doctor. They can give you something to safely detox. A bottle of Vodka a night is a lot.
Good luck!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I stopped using cocaine almost 4 years ago but then my alcoholism just kept getting worse
Drinking a litre of vodka everyday in the end i was killing myself im now 19 months sober and very grateful to be alive
The support here is fantastic full of great ppl who really care
Drinking a litre of vodka everyday in the end i was killing myself im now 19 months sober and very grateful to be alive
The support here is fantastic full of great ppl who really care
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, crasfd.
I am very glad that you are addressing your alcoholism before any of those events you fear actually happen.
There is a far better existence waiting for you in sobriety.
We are here for you.
I am very glad that you are addressing your alcoholism before any of those events you fear actually happen.
There is a far better existence waiting for you in sobriety.
We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 174
Hi crasfd, I can totally understand about the ticking time bomb and waiting for something to give. For me that is exactly how it was, I new the end was coming,I could sense it, I could almost feel the guilt, remorse and total humiliation that was waiting for me but I couldn't bring myself to stop. In my alcohol warped mind I just told myself I will stop when that day comes. And that's what I did.
Believe me It was hell on earth, I won't go into what happened but it brought me to the brink of suicide,mentally tortured me and left me a nervous wreck.
Please for your own sake give it up now,because if you're feeling the end is close then you're probably right.
Believe me It was hell on earth, I won't go into what happened but it brought me to the brink of suicide,mentally tortured me and left me a nervous wreck.
Please for your own sake give it up now,because if you're feeling the end is close then you're probably right.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Crasfd
It's a great place here and has been integral in keeping me sober which I have been for just over 2 years now. There are people here from all over the world and lots and lots of experience, strength and hope.
One thing's for sure, I do not miss vodka (or whisky, or brandy, or any other spirit)!!!
It's a great place here and has been integral in keeping me sober which I have been for just over 2 years now. There are people here from all over the world and lots and lots of experience, strength and hope.
One thing's for sure, I do not miss vodka (or whisky, or brandy, or any other spirit)!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome to SR Crashfd 
I had ten years of more or less keeping it together, and then ten years of not keeping it together at all - I lost a lot of things - partners, jobs, houses, self respect...
you don't want to go to phase two.
I'm glad you've joined us
D
I had ten years of more or less keeping it together, and then ten years of not keeping it together at all - I lost a lot of things - partners, jobs, houses, self respect...
you don't want to go to phase two.
I'm glad you've joined us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by Crasfd 
Mavrick, what you said has really hit home. I'm living exactly how you described you were. Exactly...
Please for you and your families sake don't ride it until the end.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by Crasfd
How do I stop and get off this damn train!!
Take it slowly,don't be thinking ahead like, "omg it's my birthday in a few weeks what am I going to do if I can't drink" just keep everything in the day and get through one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have too.
Give AA a try, find a local meeting maybe.
Stick around SR and read what others have done to help you build your own plan for recovery.
Eat sweet things to help with cravings, I ate ice cream and ate lots of junk food, it really helped me.
Hey! You've done it before by quitting heroin,so you can do it again with the booze.
Stay positive and you can message me any time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
If you've been drinking hard for a while, it really is a good idea to check in with your Dr first. They may give you advice, or medication, depending on your clinical condition and what you need.
For me thats step one - stopping.
To stay stopped means a lot of work - especially in the first few weeks - but there's a ton of support here - you won't be alone
D
For me thats step one - stopping.
To stay stopped means a lot of work - especially in the first few weeks - but there's a ton of support here - you won't be alone
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 56
Hey buddy, I am in your same shoes and it has been almost a month now since I gave it all up. I have two kids, a great wife, a big house and make a good living. I was slugging a bottle of Jack Daniels to my head every few nights and occasionally mixing in a some coke to keep the party rolling. I would almost disappear in my den and end up 'partying' (as I liked to refer to it) all night. I was a champion hangover guy and could dust a whole bottle and then wash it off in the shower the next morning and go to work and make money. I am a horse in that sense. Nobody, with the exception of my wife (and she would partake in some instances), knew that I was getting as messed up as I was. Kids are young, but I know they would eventually start to figure it out.
I woke up at the end of January (after a failed attempt at a dry January) and realized that I had to stop. I knew I had a problem and that I was an alcoholic. I stopped on Jan 26th and am almost at a month. I used to party very hard and sounds like we have lived similar lives. Everything was great on the day I stopped. I too knew that my life was a ticking time bomb though. How long until I got a DUI? The wife got fed up? The house caught fire and I didn't wake up because I was passed out? The fam had an emergency while I was off my head? My body finally started to die a little quicker than average because of the abuse I had put it through? All questions I was starting to ask myself.
Life is much better since I quit. I have started to confide in people close to me that I have a problem and cant risk drinking. It has been an adjustment and not completely easy, but it feels so much better to NOT drink. I even had a dream last night that I was out in the city getting wasted and I knew that something was wrong in the dream, now that I am sober. The biggest positive to come out of it all is that I don't have anxiety about being a drunk which I realize now was much louder in my head that I ever knew. I was what I always thought was the biggest thing holding me back from doing more. No more worries about my breath. No more sweating out the booze the next day. No fear that I forgot something because I blacked out. It really feels great.
Day one is a great start. Come back here for support. I really like reading the 'my stories - alcoholism'. Great motivation for staying sober. Keep at it.
I woke up at the end of January (after a failed attempt at a dry January) and realized that I had to stop. I knew I had a problem and that I was an alcoholic. I stopped on Jan 26th and am almost at a month. I used to party very hard and sounds like we have lived similar lives. Everything was great on the day I stopped. I too knew that my life was a ticking time bomb though. How long until I got a DUI? The wife got fed up? The house caught fire and I didn't wake up because I was passed out? The fam had an emergency while I was off my head? My body finally started to die a little quicker than average because of the abuse I had put it through? All questions I was starting to ask myself.
Life is much better since I quit. I have started to confide in people close to me that I have a problem and cant risk drinking. It has been an adjustment and not completely easy, but it feels so much better to NOT drink. I even had a dream last night that I was out in the city getting wasted and I knew that something was wrong in the dream, now that I am sober. The biggest positive to come out of it all is that I don't have anxiety about being a drunk which I realize now was much louder in my head that I ever knew. I was what I always thought was the biggest thing holding me back from doing more. No more worries about my breath. No more sweating out the booze the next day. No fear that I forgot something because I blacked out. It really feels great.
Day one is a great start. Come back here for support. I really like reading the 'my stories - alcoholism'. Great motivation for staying sober. Keep at it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
That gift of "impending doom" is thanks to our little friend alcohol. It could be based in reality or just anxiety from excessive drinking. Towards the end of my drinking I would get horrible anxiety and that fear that something horrible was going to happen. It might. They have a saying in AA "If you sit in a barber shop long enough you'll get a haircut". If you continue to drink the way you describe something will happen; whether or not these potential maybes can be a sufficient force for you to stop is a bigger question. Most people need a bottom of some sort. I have not met many people in your phase of alcoholism who were able to stop. There are more who have had significant consequences and still can't stop. Would it be nice if you could get off the train here? Absolutely, but it does require a large investment, more than what most people at your stage (realization) of alcoholism are willing or even know how to invest. Recovery isn't just posting anonymously on a discussion board. It takes a plan, practice, and diligence. Most will say it will also take a spiritual connection to overcome the lure of the drink. I know for me it took all of these things and even after realizing all of the things I needed, I still relapsed multiple times (even after treatment). The worse thing you can say is "It won't happen to me like that. I'm not as bad as them." It will happen again, so the question is are you willing to invest in sobriety? Best wishes on your journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
Crafsd,
Not exactly like you but got the 4 kids under 13, nice home, great job with a fair amount of business travel. For me it came when I was turned down for additional life insurance my advisor wanted me to get. I knew I had a drinking problem and knew I should stop but I never had a DUI, passed out on anyone or anything like that. I had my wine at night after I got the kids to bed and would sneak down to the basement where I hid my vodka. Nursed headaches each morning and seemed to still be successful at work - but it was getting worse. I was going downhill. The liver enzyme things made me put the shovel down and get out before the hole got too big.
Good luck and put the bottle down
Not exactly like you but got the 4 kids under 13, nice home, great job with a fair amount of business travel. For me it came when I was turned down for additional life insurance my advisor wanted me to get. I knew I had a drinking problem and knew I should stop but I never had a DUI, passed out on anyone or anything like that. I had my wine at night after I got the kids to bed and would sneak down to the basement where I hid my vodka. Nursed headaches each morning and seemed to still be successful at work - but it was getting worse. I was going downhill. The liver enzyme things made me put the shovel down and get out before the hole got too big.
Good luck and put the bottle down
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Not sure how you got off the H but tapering to a tolerable jump-off point seems to work for many. I did it with alcohol and so can you. Abrupt cessation can be life-threatening. Don't hesitate to call a doc if needed. Best wishes on backing out of the rabbit hole.
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