Jackria736

Hi! I am suffering from a raging hangover and again, looking to quit drinking. I struggle with this because I don't think of myself as a classic alcoholic- I don't drink everyday and I don't even think about alcohol most of the time. But my problem is once I do start drinking, I often can't stop. So every few weeks I end up drinking myself silly and embarrassing the crap out of myself amongst my family, friends, or colleagues. And then I spiral into horrible shame and self loathing and swear I will never do it again.
So that is where I am at today. But I want this time to be the time I actually stop. My kids saw me last night and I'm worried that I am setting a horrible example. Also, my mother was an alcoholic and ended up killing herself last year, which has made my drinking worse on many levels.
I appreciate any advice.

Treerat66

Hi Jackria,
Welcome to SR.

Your drinking pattern matches what I used to do. To help yourself steer clear of the situations where you drink.

Mags1

Hi Jackria, welcome to SR.

i didn't drink every day to start with but I never knew when I'd had enough, I got the taste and nothing could stop me. Then I progressed to most days, the days I didn't drink I usually was too hung over to drink.

I didn't think I could live without booze, but it can be done. I realised I had a problem when I couldn't control it.

Not drinking does free you from embarrassment and regrets.

Nowsthetime

I was just like you... We don't ever have to feel like that. Make a plan, commit and join us in our journey. We will help support you. First thing I did was read a lot here. I also post whenever I need to. Use this resource. It's really valuable.

LBrain

Welcome Jackria!

I've seen the frog in the boiling water analogy used here. Put a frog in a pot of boiling water and he jumps out. Put a frog in a pot of water then put it on the stove and he'll stay in it until he is cooked. Your water is not yet boiling. But for many of us, we don't recognize it until it is too late.
Consider this an opportunity for you to save yourself from the boiling water.

Read around the different foums and you'll find people who were exactly like you at one point.

Jackria736

Thank you all so much. I hope today is my day one.
I worry because so much of our social lives revolves around drinking. I wonder if I can still be social sober, which I know sounds stupid but alcohol has always helped me feel comfortable socially. I also hate the idea of never having a simple glass of wine with dinner again. These are the thoughts I struggle with.

Treerat66

At the end of the evenings where I used alcohol to be socially comfortable I became socially incompetent.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome.

I suggest reading a lot of posts here and like me find out I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

Each alcoholic has one thing in common, we cannot drink alcohol in safety. It’s that simple.

It sure helps if we can get honest with ourselves about our drinking and accept the fact we can’t drink in safety. These are major blocks on the road to sobriety.

BE WELL

FreeOwl

We are here for you.

I think I understand how you feel.... I've been there so many times. Have written those words myself. Said them to myself in loathing and despair.

But now I am almost 14 months sober and my life is expanding in so many wonderful ways.

I tried and I tried. I failed and I failed. But then I decided it was time to live....

It hasn't been easy, it has been work. There have been struggles and there have been joys..... and I'm sober and happy.

You can be too. Welcome.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Jackria, to SR.

Your children are an excellent and hugely important reason to stop drinking but YOU are an equally important reason to find sobriety and recovery.

Glad you found SR.

Plure

Welcome to SR Jackria! I too understand what you're going through given multiple attempts to stop before finally doing it. I'm at 130 days sober and although still in a recovery process, feel so much better...it has been an amazing transformation. Life is on the right path for me and will be for you too once you've had your last drink.

Hang in there!

Mountainmanbob

believe me, they won't forget
this would be an excellent time in which to sober up
my son has much respect for me today because I sobered up 7 years ago
but, he can still remember how I used to be
at times, a wild drinking fool

who is a fool ?
a fool is one who fools themself

M-B

Nowsthetime

Hello: I see where you are coming from. It can be hard to imagine a life so different that what we are used to but, aren't you sick of that old life and ending up embarrassing yourself? What made a huge difference for me was having my daughter around...

Read here a lot. You will find a lot of anecdotes that can apply to you.

The other thing: it's never "a simple glass of wine". A simple glass of wine is never enough...

FreeOwl

This is one of the things I'm most grateful for in sobriety; my children never have to see me acting like a fool.... It's scary for children to see their parents drunk... out of control.... not themselves. That's traumatic.

On the flip side - when they consistently see their parents aware, present, capable, strong, focused and clear - they have a model to emulate and a sense of having a foundation and a strength in their lives they can rely on.

Lovesunrises

Hi Jackria. I know how you feel. I also struggled with missing the social aspect of drinking, I've made a fool of myself in front of my kids, other people, and so on. After several attempts to stay sober over the past couple of years, I am trying again. It's not easy, but one thing that motivates me is knowing that if I don't pick up that first drink, I will never have to deal with the aftermath of drinking...hangovers, embarrassment, depression, anxiety, withdrawals, etc. I'm sorry you lost your mom. Hugs!

Jackria736

I am just hopeful that this is the time I stick to this. I have such little faith in myself.

SoberLeigh

Many, many of us here at SR initially lacked confidence in our abilities to achieve sobriety.

Stick with it; trust the people here who truly want to see you succeed when we say it IS possible to you.

Jackria736

The good news is I am starting a new job in two weeks- last nights drinking was in celebration of my last day at my previous job. So I am thinking of this transition as a chance to make some changes in my life- like giving up drinking, and recommitting to my yoga practice, and my health. I'm hoping this can be my fresh start.

ulfr

Welcome
Am sorry about your loss

Jackria736

Thank you also for your kind words about my mom. She struggled with depression her whole life and eventually started drinking vodka in large quantities and staying in bed for days at a time. She did that for over a decade, each year progressively worse, until she took her own life. What's crazy is that two weeks before she killed herself she went through detox and got sober.