3 years 7 weeks clean but struggling
 

Am 3 years and 7 weeks clean but am struggling am a member of a christian forums i posted in the forum about having irish cream floured coffee ( no alcohol ) then someone posted about irish coffee with picture of it a bottle of a whiskey i use to drink ...its not just that its every time i go food shopping i see drink because the juice is in the same part as the drink is and i have to stop myself from buying but its not like i can buy it as my husband keeps all the money because my mental health is bad at the moment he thinks ill by blades and pills to OD on or drink
so am dry drunk not really 3 years that av been sober the only reason am sober is that my husband keeps all the money because am not able to make dissensions for myself

i find this time of year hard because of trauma i havent been to AA all thoese years been doing it on my own with my husband help
but i feel i need more help so am going to a meeting tomorrow am 5.30 pm with my husband but tomorrow is my husband birthday he said he will go with me as i cant be on my own because of my mental health ( also i cant travel on my own because of my mental health ) and the other day i cut my arm its fixed and bandaged up am ok but i feel like everything is on top of me ...on top of that am worried about family members who health havent been good and am worried about things that i shouldnt be worrying about

:a108:

Hi DA, congratulations on 3 years and 7 weeks sober...that is so awesome
I am sorry to hear about your mental health problems, I am sure that doesn't make it easy. Have you got a good Doc that you see regularly?
Triggers come in all forms and it sounds like you have a bit going on ATM.
It is great that you are going to be going to an AA meeting...

Hello DarkAsylum

Congrats on your 3 years 7 weeks clean

Have you been getting help with your mental health DarkAsylum ?

((()))

Yes i see my family dr and a therapist and psych they know about my self injuring and that i hear voices they tell me to hurt myself and to hurt other people i see things as well i also have depression and OCD PTSD
am on a lot of medication for it ( my husband has to lock the medication up )
i see them once a month some times i see my family dr every 2 weeks when am ill i see her soon

It's good to see you DA and I'm glad you're still clean and sober. I'm sorry for your mental health struggles and I hope that you continue to get the care you need.

DA, it is great that you are seeing your Docs regularly, I would let them know how you are feeling..., there is not a thing that will get better from drinking, drinking makes everything worse....you have worked so hard to get where you are....drinking sux!!

I second what Notimetolose said Dark - tell your doctor or therapist how you're feeling.

You are obviously going through a lot right now.

Three years + sober DA is AWESOME!

i think i should be honest self injuring is an addiction and its should be seen as something i can stop just like i can stop drinking or taking drugs
Today ( Sat) is my first day its my husbands birthday today so ill remember it well
we arent going out for a meal or anything like that we are going to an aa meeting
then we are getting Chinese as a take away

Hi DA, welcome to posting on the forums and congratulations on 3+ years, that's fantastic! I see you're a bit of a Pink fan ;) An ex-girlfriend of mine was self-proclaimed Pink's greatest fan in the world, which means over time I heard her albums over and over so many times I practically know most of her songs by heart, haha. She's pretty fantastic though, have you ever been to one of her concerts?

Whenever you feel as if things can be overwhelming, come on over and share your thoughts if you're comfortable, or read the the threads throughout these forums. There's also a chat room which almost always has somebody in it - everyone here is wonderfully supportive. I found it very therapeutic to type away during my most difficult hours. We're all here for you.

good to see you DA :)

D