Feeling very ashamed ....
 

Hi everyone,
I've not been around for a couple of weeks.
I'm feeling very very ashamed ..... I fell off the wagon ... :c004:

Today would have been day 56 ..... but instead it's day 1 again....

Was stupid to think I had this under control.....I let the av tell me it was ok to have "just 1" .... I should not have listened.
xxxxx

Hiya Shenzy - welcome back :)

The vast majority of us know exactly how you feel.

It took me a few tries before I finally got it into my head that if I wanted to be the person I wanted to be, I had to leave alcohol behind :)

D

Hi Shenzy,

Welcome back. At my last relapse I got 30 days then drank because I thought I could drink "normally" - It was total hell and made my recovery much more stronger in my mind for starting again.

You're back, this can be your last day 1 ever.

Wishing you well.

L x

Hi Shenzy,

This will just make you more determind not to fall off again hopefully :-)

Just out of interest.....was it other people saying "oh, just one wont hurt?"

I also thought I could drink like "normal" people after 31 days sober but I just have to accept I can't. I know how you feel. All that effort, but lets just dust ourselves down and try again. It's better than not trying at all I guess. Best of luck!

You have 55 days of sobriety that you did. You can do it again. Focus on what kept you going for those days.

Don't focus on the shame as it is negative and really accomplishes nothing. Focus on what you can do different for next time.

Thank you everyone .....

Travelgirldodds - was myself that thought I could handle just one .... but did have someone say to me that they thought I was over reacting. They couldn't see what was wrong with a bottle of wine in the evening to relax.

xxx

Other people are poor judges of how alcohol effects me … they might know how it is for them but not me ..

for me one might be one … but i know eventually that leads to two .. then i'm thinking may as well finnish off the bottle , then i'd better buy 2 or 3 bottles .. a lot more for the weekend ..
No no i've been on that roundabout for years no way am i going back ..

Glad you're back at sobriety Shenzy , thanks for the reminder .

Bestwishes, m

No need at all for shame, Shenzy. You're back and wiser and still fighting the fight. That's what counts :hug:

There is a great chinese proverb: "Fall down seven times, Get up Eight" As long as you get up, nothing to be ashamed of. It takes courage to get up. Congratulations on Day one. Today is Today. The past is the past. Many of us have been where you have been trust me. Until one day, we manage to stay up. Learn from the mistake but don't feel shame, an emotion that has nothing to do with the process, only to keep us in our vicious circles of self-destruction and self-hatred.

Come on back to the 24 Hour thread, Shenzy -- we've missed your little puppy-faced avatar & you! :) :hug:

Ditto!!!!!

:You_Rock_

can't tell you how much I understand...but like everyone here is saying...it's just about not giving up!!!

you can do this

good that you came back and posted

thank you for that, Trish

I am new to the forum and I have 4 days under my belt which to me is a massive achievement. So I am not going to pretend I am an expert on this. But someone said to me once, if you put £1 in a jar everyday you don't drink and then you do fall off the wagon, you don't take (in your case) all £55 out of the jar for the 55 days you managed. You just don't put a £1 for that day and start putting the £1 the next day.

Good luck on day 56

I'm glad you're back ShenzyT. :hug:
The good thing is you can use this experience to learn from and be stronger for it. Next time AV says, "just one", you know where that leads. You also know it is a full out lie.
As others have mentioned, just because you lose that continuous sobriety time doesn't mean you lose your progress. Every time I have had to pick myself back up, I marked the sobriety date, but have used proportions to keep myself motivated (x days sober/x sober days attempted). Once you get enough continuous sober days again, you can go back to using the continuous sober days for motivation.

You can do this ShenzyT learn from it remember how you feel right now write it down print off this thread

You dont have to feel like this no more bud

You can do this

Hi Shenzy. 55 days is a great start. You know you can do it and you know "just one" isn't true. I'm glad to see you back!

Hi Shenzy I have done exactly the same as you...today would have been my day 51 but last weekend I really fell off the wagon with no good reason. Made an absolute fool of myself and had to start day one again on Monday.

I'm back on the 24 hour thread...
We can do this :)

Welcome back, ShenzyT.

Well done on the 55 days you got, I'm on day 38 and looking forward to getting into the 50s and beyond!

You've got a good foundation to build on, start afresh and keep up the good sober work.You can do this!

Been there buddy. Not a good feeling at all!!! Forgive yourself. Make the changes you need to make to not let it happen again. It's taking my several of those oh so brutal relapses to realize I can't drink at all ever. Dust off move on and be kind to yourself.