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-   -   21 years old and making a change. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/359767-21-years-old-making-change.html)

IamRising 02-18-2015 04:45 PM

21 years old and making a change.
 
Hey everyone! I've been browsing the forums for a little while and decided I'd join in. I don't think I've ever seen a place more positive, supportive, or understanding, and I hope it will be of help to me.

I am 21 years old. I started drinking when I was 18, and it spiraled out of control pretty quickly. It went from social drinking, to out of control social drinking, to secretive drinking in social situations, to out of control secretive drinking in social situations. Alcohol has been my crutch. I've used it to self-medicate in situations that made me nervous or anxious, and I decided that needed to stop.

Seeing the way my dad's alcoholism has impacted himself and my family, I have made the choice to nip the problem in the bud before I'm in too deep. I have my whole life ahead of me and the thought of alcohol taking over all my potential makes me sick to my stomach.

Though there are certain situations that a psychological craving for alcohol comes up, I am not physically dependent on it nor have I experienced withdrawal symptoms (aside from feeling guilty and depressed after a night of too much drinking due to embarrassment).

I already told myself I'd stop once, but that only lasted two months. I find it hard to stay away when it seems like "the thing to do" in college. I was feeling left out. I thought I could be more careful this time around, but I can't. Simply one drink isn't enough for me and I almost always end up blacking out, even if I tell myself I'll only have two drinks...it just never happens.

So! Enough is enough. I'm seeing a counselor next week and hoping that between that and posting here, I'll be able to stay away for good.

Any words of advice or encouragement is welcome, and I'd absolutely love to hear from anyone else in their 20s!

gracetuesday 02-18-2015 05:00 PM

Welcome, Rising! Glad that you are here. What a fabulous decision you are making for yourself!

:flower5:

Marcher13 02-18-2015 05:02 PM

Welcome Rising! You'll find lots of support here at SR and you'll find people starting out like you are here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Jen73 02-18-2015 05:04 PM

Hello IAR,

You came to the right place to get help. I been sober for 2 weeks and 1 day now, so i am still in my early stage of recovery. This forum is open 24/7. You have already did step 1, which you have notice drinking is a problem. Good for you!!

welcome and hope to see you around here.

Sebastian84 02-18-2015 06:01 PM

Hi Rising, welcome to SR! You're making a fantastic and mature choice by realising your actions and focusing on the concequences of them - both now and into the future, so early.

I turned 30 a few months ago, so I was in my 20's not long ago ;). I can understand and relate to the progression of drinking you've described very much. I started drinking when I was around 20, initially when just going out with friends on weekends, though I would often drink just that little bit more. That eventually spilled over into drinking throughout Friday - Sunday, and suffering through work horribly on the Monday, but all was ok from Tuesday onwards so it was ok to do it all again the next Friday, right? God I wish I had the discipline to stop earlier... Unfortunately it all culminated a few months ago in a terrible binge where I drank every day, right up to last Monday, where I'd be drinking 30+ drinks every day towards the end. I'm glad you're self-aware enough to have realised it's time to stop before something like that happened to you.

One of my main reasons for drinking was to use it as a social stimulant and lubricant - things seemed so much easier after a couple under my belt, but it was NEVER enough, and I'd inevitably end up spending hundreds of dollars every time I went out and getting blind drunk. I weep now thinking about all the money I have spent and wasted. As a result, I've always been worried that "regular Seb isn't as fun or engaging as drunk Seb" - how am I going to be funny and confident enough to chat up girls if I'm not drinking? Funnily enough, the few rare times in my 20's that I did go on a date with a girl whilst sober, I did very well. I would always return to the booze though, rather than continuing any progress I had made.

I would suggest using these forums as much as you need Rising. You're absolutely right that it's an amazingly supportive and positive community, it's also very active, so people will be here 24/7 for you. Read through the various threads, read other people's experiences, share some of your own if you feel comfortable or feel the need. Being active over the last couple of days has helped me immeasurably. And as for 'regular Seb vs. drunk Seb', I've read lots of experiences here where people have described how much better they feel after dropping the drink, and that their social lives have improved dramatically as a result. This has given me hope that I can do that too, and fuels my desire to be sober even more.

Feel free to PM me any time mate.

Seb.

DrunkTx 02-18-2015 06:09 PM

Rising, you might only be 21, but your an inspiration for all of us. If any of us were self aware or had the fortitude you have, most of us could have ended what has proved to be one of the most painful journeys of our lives. So while you will get lots of support here; from me, today, you get my respect and admiration. Bravo!

SoberLeigh 02-18-2015 06:22 PM

Welcome, rising, to SR. Congratulations on your decision to address your drinking issues at such a young age. You sound very wise and self-aware.

Glad you found SR.

jryan19982 02-18-2015 06:28 PM

Im just barely out of my 20s so hope you dont mind I chime in.

You are 21, when many alcoholics to be drinking goes from social to moderate to severe. Good you dont experience withdrawals- good to stop before you do.

You can focus more on your budding career since you are young and save the money you would otherwise drink.

Your first quit lasted 2 months- which is about 1 month and 30 days more than most peoples first quit.

You are well on your way.

Best to try and occupy your drinking times with something else. Go to a class you always wanted to learn about (fixing a car, painting/art, music, history of an interesting time period).

Visit often and post post post post...

mirage 02-18-2015 07:24 PM

Welcome Rising! I'm so happy for you that you are able to see what lies ahead if you keep drinking. I wish I had quit drinking long before I did. Never doubt your wise decision! :) Hope you stick around and best wishes to you!

mns1 02-18-2015 07:52 PM


Originally Posted by IamRising (Post 5210303)
I have my whole life ahead of me and the thought of alcohol taking over all my potential makes me sick to my stomach.

Damned straight IamRising!

I am so glad you are realizing this at such a young age. I am 28 and I was just a couple of years older than you when my drinking started to become a serious issue. You can do whatever you want with your life and you don't need alcohol there with you, no matter what everyone else is doing. Pursue your own goals and stay true to yourself. Glad you are here.

More power to you!

jt22 02-18-2015 07:57 PM

Hi, i too am pretty young, just turned 23. My main issue Has been with narcotics although my teen years up till about your age i had very similar drinking issues. Alcohol was never much of a crutch for me rather than a substitute when i couldnt get my DOC. Like others have said it's great that youre young and noticing a problem already. What i and many others have found that to be clean and enjoy it while being comfortable in your own skin it takes moee han just quitting. You need to find a hobby/skill that is important and worth staying sober for. Something to pride yourself on, so when everyone is out drinking youre happy with yourself for staying in and not drinking. To me exercise is unmatched with this, although everyone doesnt like heavy goal orientated exercising, so something similar could work just as well. Find an outlet what do you like to do?

Goodluck man, if youre here you got the ability to change. Read here everyday, that has helped me along the way greatly.

Alynn 02-18-2015 08:02 PM

I am soooooo glad you are here and making these changes NOW! I am 10 years older then you and my drinking story sounds just like yours. If only I had made that decision for myself at 21 I could have saved myself a ton of shame. It does get worse! My drinking ended up with me hiding in closets and bathrooms to hide it from my husband. I'm getting out now before I loose something important to me such as family or job. Great choice you have made for yourself! Don't look back PLEASE! I can't rewind the last 10 years and go back to 21 but you wont have to say that :) Let's keep those decisions solid :)

Eshgham 02-18-2015 08:18 PM

Great stuff mate. It's a decision that will improve your life.

Creekryder 02-18-2015 08:25 PM

Welcome, Rising, and keep the momentum.
Btw, I am twenty...
...and then some.

SoberLife90 02-18-2015 08:54 PM

Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of support here.

Fluffer 02-18-2015 09:48 PM

Wise choice, my friend. I wish I could have my 20's back for a do-over! Addiction to alcohol will cause you to hugely underperform your potential in life. You have nothing to lose by quitting but your chains!

Dee74 02-18-2015 11:23 PM

Welcome IAmRising :)

post and read here as much as you like - there's a lot of support and encouragement here :)

D

Soberwolf 02-19-2015 02:54 AM

Nice to meet you

LBrain 02-19-2015 05:21 AM

I was in my twenties once. Too bad I missed a lot of it.
The old, 'I wish I knew then what I know now' is very fitting.

racingthoughts 02-19-2015 09:48 AM

I'm 21 too,

My issue was never drinking as much as it was smoking enormous quantities of weed and messing with other drugs. I quit the weed/drugs 5 months ago but still drank up until a few weeks ago. I decided that I didn't like drinking much at all and decided that I wanted a life free of all substances.

I get the whole "it seems like the thing to do in college" mentality, as I struggle with it a lot. It's tough. I go to a huge party school where all people talk about is how drunk they got the weekend before, and it's honestly getting irritating. With that being said, it gives me an opportunity to see just how stupid people seem when they're hammered or high or whatever. I liked the counter cultural feeling of doing drugs when I was in high school, but now that I'm in a place where everyone imbibes without restraint, I feel unique for being sober, and I like it. I get it, it sucks at times though. Just think, once we graduate, we'll be a step ahead of the people who went wild in school.


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