21 years old and making a change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 55
Hey iamrising, I'm 19 and just recently made the decision to quit before I lost everything as well. It didn't take long for my drinking to go from social to alcoholic. Just a few short months. It gets worse, never better is something I've heard a lot around here and I think its true. Best ta call it quits early. Good luck to you. Posting here on SR and counseling sound like a solid start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 10
Wow. I cannot even believe all the positive responses I got from my OP! You all really validated my decision to quit, and I'm so glad I came here to talk about it.
The truth is, I feel rather embarrassed that I have this problem at such a young age. Surely other people my age have a problem as well and are just denying it or justifying it because it's part of the typical college lifestyle, but I still find myself embarrassed nonetheless.
But after reading all the responses, I felt a sense of comfort and pride (the good kind haha). Seeing some of you around my age and going through something similar is extremely comforting, and others of you that are commending me on my choice and wisdom and wishing you had done the same at my age just makes me feel proud.
My problems aren't what define me, and what I do about them is much more telling of me as a person. I realize that now, and I thank all of you for helping me reach that conclusion.
The truth is, I feel rather embarrassed that I have this problem at such a young age. Surely other people my age have a problem as well and are just denying it or justifying it because it's part of the typical college lifestyle, but I still find myself embarrassed nonetheless.
But after reading all the responses, I felt a sense of comfort and pride (the good kind haha). Seeing some of you around my age and going through something similar is extremely comforting, and others of you that are commending me on my choice and wisdom and wishing you had done the same at my age just makes me feel proud.
My problems aren't what define me, and what I do about them is much more telling of me as a person. I realize that now, and I thank all of you for helping me reach that conclusion.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by IamRising 
The truth is, I feel rather embarrassed that I have this problem at such a young age. Surely other people my age have a problem as well and are just denying it or justifying it because it's part of the typical college lifestyle, but I still find myself embarrassed nonetheless.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 466
I get the embarrassment too. I mean there's a social stigma surrounding addiction to begin with, but being young seems to make it even less justified. It's like this feeling that 1)we're still young so everyone sort of doubts that there's a problem at all, 2) this is a time where were almost expected to let loose, so we feel ashamed that we can't handle it like our peers, and 3) most of our using peers are oblivious to the idea of addiction to begin with and don't understand why anyone would ever quit, even if they have their own problems, and so it's just not understood.
Glad you're feeling good about this. There'll probably be some times to come when you won't feel so good about it in the moment, but if you hold strong, it'll be more than worth it.
Glad you're feeling good about this. There'll probably be some times to come when you won't feel so good about it in the moment, but if you hold strong, it'll be more than worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Welcome!
I started my journey in recovery one month short of my 18th birthday. by that time my addiction had taken me to hospital, jails, and mental institutions. Wouldn't you know once i stopped drinking I haven't been back to jail or the nut house. been to the hospital a few times though for illness or injury. Not drinking has enable me to have a great life. God know what would of happend if I kept going.
I started my journey in recovery one month short of my 18th birthday. by that time my addiction had taken me to hospital, jails, and mental institutions. Wouldn't you know once i stopped drinking I haven't been back to jail or the nut house. been to the hospital a few times though for illness or injury. Not drinking has enable me to have a great life. God know what would of happend if I kept going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 10
Well, I'm back. I made the decision to post here in February and never really returned. And I relapsed twice, both eventually enough to warrant hospital visits because I was drinking in secret and was found passed out for seemingly no reason.
Right now I am on day 3 sober and I'm feeling so sad, embarrassed, and incredibly defeated.
Of course, I'm always looking for the silver lining and I do believe there is one. The good news now is that everyone knows. Before, I tried to compartmentalize who all knew, so maybe my family knew but my roommates didn't so I could get away with it at school. But now, everyone knows and they have all been overwhelmingly supportive and have promised to help me and hold me accountable. They're being so good to me that I feel even guiltier, because I feel like a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be loved so well...
I'm honestly terrified of relapsing again. I've vowed to get better 3 times now in the past year alone and have gone back to it weeks or months later, and each time it spiraled to yet another rock bottom. When will I finally make a change for the long haul?! That's my fear. That this will be my life...attempt to recover, relapse, hit a bottom that may or may not ruin my future, repeat. I'm honestly at the point where I wouldn't mind shouting this issue from the rooftops so that everyone knows to help me. I just want help and to recover so, so badly.
What do you guys suggest I do? I've downloaded the AA book to read through, do you think I should find a meeting? Being 21, I fear that I will have a hard time finding one that I connect with because everyone will probably be a good bit older than me. Should I try therapy again? I feel like it helped when I went but then I stopped going when I had to come back to school and spiraled back downward.
I just feel lost and scared. Having accountability with everyone who is close to me is certainly going to help me but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. It's like I can't even trust myself. Sorry I'm coming here so downtrodden, I'm just currently at a very low point.
Right now I am on day 3 sober and I'm feeling so sad, embarrassed, and incredibly defeated.
Of course, I'm always looking for the silver lining and I do believe there is one. The good news now is that everyone knows. Before, I tried to compartmentalize who all knew, so maybe my family knew but my roommates didn't so I could get away with it at school. But now, everyone knows and they have all been overwhelmingly supportive and have promised to help me and hold me accountable. They're being so good to me that I feel even guiltier, because I feel like a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be loved so well...
I'm honestly terrified of relapsing again. I've vowed to get better 3 times now in the past year alone and have gone back to it weeks or months later, and each time it spiraled to yet another rock bottom. When will I finally make a change for the long haul?! That's my fear. That this will be my life...attempt to recover, relapse, hit a bottom that may or may not ruin my future, repeat. I'm honestly at the point where I wouldn't mind shouting this issue from the rooftops so that everyone knows to help me. I just want help and to recover so, so badly.
What do you guys suggest I do? I've downloaded the AA book to read through, do you think I should find a meeting? Being 21, I fear that I will have a hard time finding one that I connect with because everyone will probably be a good bit older than me. Should I try therapy again? I feel like it helped when I went but then I stopped going when I had to come back to school and spiraled back downward.
I just feel lost and scared. Having accountability with everyone who is close to me is certainly going to help me but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. It's like I can't even trust myself. Sorry I'm coming here so downtrodden, I'm just currently at a very low point.
Um Dia de Cada Vez
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
Hello IamRising, welcome back.
The first time I tried to stop drinking I was 25. It didnt last and now at 31 I am almost 6 months sober, after many failed attempts. In my case I drank for another 5 years before I tried stopping again, I hope you stick around this time, sobriety is very worthy and rewarding.
The first time I tried to stop drinking I was 25. It didnt last and now at 31 I am almost 6 months sober, after many failed attempts. In my case I drank for another 5 years before I tried stopping again, I hope you stick around this time, sobriety is very worthy and rewarding.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,358
Welcome back IAR
I think you should do absolutely everything that you're prepared to do to stay sober.
The more you do for your recovery, the less chance you have of going back into the darkness
D
I think you should do absolutely everything that you're prepared to do to stay sober.
The more you do for your recovery, the less chance you have of going back into the darkness
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
IamRising - I envy you. Would give anything to have back the 30 drinking years I squandered. Please don't feel defeated - you're doing a great thing for yourself. Some never see or choose to admit what drinking is doing to their lives. I was one of those who intended to get sober one day - and half my life went by in a foggy blur.
Please keep posting and reading here. It's so helpful to not feel alone. Be proud of yourself for taking control of your life and beginning to heal. 3 days is wonderful.
Please keep posting and reading here. It's so helpful to not feel alone. Be proud of yourself for taking control of your life and beginning to heal. 3 days is wonderful.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Iamrising,
I reached the same place at 22, made a decision to immerse myself in AA and have not had a drink since. I am 57 now.
There are a lot more young people in AA today and they seem to make great recoveries. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was to get my whole life back and be young enough to make something of it.
Total immersion in AA is what worked for me.
I reached the same place at 22, made a decision to immerse myself in AA and have not had a drink since. I am 57 now.
There are a lot more young people in AA today and they seem to make great recoveries. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was to get my whole life back and be young enough to make something of it.
Total immersion in AA is what worked for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Don't know where you live, but there are AA meetings all over the world that are oriented to young people.
My home group is a young people's group. I know several people who have been sober multiple years and have never even taken legal drink (got sober before 21).
Check out Home | YPAA.info - International YPAA Intergroup / Meeting List
Also look for any "young people" designations in your local meeting book/website.
My home group is a young people's group. I know several people who have been sober multiple years and have never even taken legal drink (got sober before 21).
Check out Home | YPAA.info - International YPAA Intergroup / Meeting List
Also look for any "young people" designations in your local meeting book/website.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 10
Thank you, all of you, for the encouragement. I think AA would be good for me. There aren't any YPAAs in my area although there is a meeting that meets once a week on my college campus, so I assume that'll be peers. Of course I'm a nervous wreck to attend because I'm terrified I'll know someone, but then I guess finding someone I know struggling with this same thing would probably be good for me. This meeting only occurs once a week too which I feel won't be enough, but I should probably give it a shot nonetheless.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 73
Welcome IamRising.
I am in a similar situation as in I am not physically addicted, but psychologically dependent. In truth I dont think that makes much difference except when it comes to drying out. If alcohol is a problem, then it is a problem. Period. Whether it is physical or psychological a problem is a problem.
I like you started at 18, but very quickly it got out of control. I was your age when I first went to AA but I didnt stop. I'm now 32 and know I need to stop, but for me my depression is a big factor. Nothing seems to work, but the booze provides me with a short respite.
Because I live in Scotland, you can't buy booze from a shop after 10pm so I have a cut off time for buying. If I can find something to occupy me before then I will get through. But that final hour from 9pm is the worst- shops are five minutes walk away so I have to be super vigilant during that hour otherwise my Drunk Mind takes control.
Good luck! Dont let it get to my age, I have too many regrets and remorse that even when sober will still linger.
I am in a similar situation as in I am not physically addicted, but psychologically dependent. In truth I dont think that makes much difference except when it comes to drying out. If alcohol is a problem, then it is a problem. Period. Whether it is physical or psychological a problem is a problem.
I like you started at 18, but very quickly it got out of control. I was your age when I first went to AA but I didnt stop. I'm now 32 and know I need to stop, but for me my depression is a big factor. Nothing seems to work, but the booze provides me with a short respite.
Because I live in Scotland, you can't buy booze from a shop after 10pm so I have a cut off time for buying. If I can find something to occupy me before then I will get through. But that final hour from 9pm is the worst- shops are five minutes walk away so I have to be super vigilant during that hour otherwise my Drunk Mind takes control.
Good luck! Dont let it get to my age, I have too many regrets and remorse that even when sober will still linger.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome back Iamrising and congrats on day 3 or 4 by now. I too wish I had decided to get sober at your age. I promise you this, you won't regret your decision. I don't think I have ever heard one person say... "man I wish I had kept drinking for another 5, 10, 20 years".
You are strong enough to make this change happen and make your life all that it is meant to be.
For a person with an addiction, alcohol won't bring anything but pain and darkness into our lives.
How are you doing today?
You are strong enough to make this change happen and make your life all that it is meant to be.
For a person with an addiction, alcohol won't bring anything but pain and darkness into our lives.
How are you doing today?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 10
I thank you for all for your welcomes again. But now I just lost my job due to this very recent time that I hit bottom; it was in a public place in which someone from my job realized what was going on and it was not tolerated.
I am so upset because I needed this job in able to afford my rent. I knew this was coming as I hadn't been to work since my latest incident but I just hate myself. Why am I like this?!? How will I pick back up the pieces in order to recover?!
I need so much encouragement. I feel like all of my mistakes are written on my forehead. I am in such a bad place right now.
I am so upset because I needed this job in able to afford my rent. I knew this was coming as I hadn't been to work since my latest incident but I just hate myself. Why am I like this?!? How will I pick back up the pieces in order to recover?!
I need so much encouragement. I feel like all of my mistakes are written on my forehead. I am in such a bad place right now.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Welcome back
First and foremost, im really sorry to hear about your job. Can you look for something short term to help pay the bills? Maybe even a part time thing for a while until you're back on your feet?
I'm 23 and I know that getting sober at our age is really tough, but it can be done. Think of it this way, we still have a lot of our lives to live once we turn things round.
I think AA might be a good idea, as you suggested. Be assured that there is no hole too big to haul yourself out of. Small, positive steps help hugely. Maybe hitting that meeting could be an initial start to reclaim your life back?
B
First and foremost, im really sorry to hear about your job. Can you look for something short term to help pay the bills? Maybe even a part time thing for a while until you're back on your feet?
I'm 23 and I know that getting sober at our age is really tough, but it can be done. Think of it this way, we still have a lot of our lives to live once we turn things round.
I think AA might be a good idea, as you suggested. Be assured that there is no hole too big to haul yourself out of. Small, positive steps help hugely. Maybe hitting that meeting could be an initial start to reclaim your life back?
B
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