rocky123

I have been on a bender for over two weeks. The fight I had last time I seem to not have now...I'm a mess and exams and a speech is coming up and I'm not prepared, trying a lot though. My mother is going to UK at the beginning of March for a month, she is such a worrier that I cannot add to her stress of going away but I'm ten times more anxious about being alone in a house all day. I've been having mini breakdowns because of ptsd and crying in shower constantly so I finally made an apt with a grief counselor for next week. But in the mean time I'm scared of going through withdrawal again...I sort of talked to my dad about it and he also said it'd be best not to freak my mom out before she leaves when she's worried already. I told her I made an apt for grief counseling which she was happy but has no idea I've been drinking again...I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out, I'm so stressed and now I added to it because of going through withdrawal. I've just been crying constantly because I don't know what to do...i need like five days off to heal but I can't do that with exams coming up. Anyways sorry for the vent I'm just so sad and angry with who I am

Thepatman

You addiction doesn't define who you are Rocky, make sure you never let it.

First things first, seeing a counselor is a great step forward. Can you also see a Doctor?
They can help with withdrawal. The quicker you can get sober, the better you will be able to face the rest of the issues like school exams.

IOAA2

Hi.
First things first is my recommendation and that’s plug the jug. Many peoples lives take a complete turnaround positive wise when alcohol consumption is eliminated.

A fairly fast way to do this is immerse yourself in AA meetings every day and work the program as if it’s life or death, which it is.
Alcoholism is progressive and never gets better once we are addicted to alcohol. It’s quite fightable if we are determined.

BE WELL

packfan

wish I had an easy answer. Don't we all. The fact that you reached out, vented, that's a good sign. There is still hope in you. If you have never tried A.A., now might be the time. It's free....the support is unbelievable. Cry when you need to, pray.....just say it out loud.....God, please take this, help me keep breathing, stay beside me every step I take. Open your mind and heart to a healing....I will pray for you

Soberwolf

Keep trying Rocky learn from this you can do this

GoesWithTheFlow

Listen to this guy! I failed out of school because I prioritized drinking. I wasn't ready to quit back then and now that I am and have I realize what a terrible mistake I made but I realized to late.

Now I must pay the money myself to make up classes, a lot of money, and fight my way back in to finish the little I have left. Don't make the same mistakes I made. Sober up and your mind will become clearer to think on those school projects.

Good luck with your speech.

rocky123

I was good all day and I'm saying hello to the shakes tonight I knew it'd be like this and back in the same place of not being able to sleep cus I'll sweat it out all night...but at least I'm getting sober I just hate paying for it in physical ways ugh better now then later tho

EternalNow

Get medical help. Go to your family doctor and come clean. It will help immensely. You can do this!!!!!

Dee74

There's some great advice here Rocky - please take it.

D

rocky123

I live with a nurse who's going to be here for me...I have done the librium pills before don't have anymore and even when I was it I still shakes and sweats but there not extreme it's just the alc coming out and I obv will go to er if they got worse buy so far I'm good and even with meds still sweat a lot more annoying then anything...and I found it hard to sleep when I got sober the last couple times...I know it sucks but I'm doing it and I have to either way so I figured today was the day and hopefully my last time going through withdrawal...the grief counseling is going to help because my I know what my triggers are and every time I got sober before I never dealt with them or went for help this time my plan is real to deal with my ptsd and work through those demons that have been in my head instead of drinking them away...I know these next couple of days will suck with getting my body straight but I had to be done today whether I like It or not I want to get my life back before it's too late so I'm putting my big girl pants on and doing it

Dee74

good for you rocky

D

Soberwolf

You can do this Rocky

Redemption28

It's good you're here. One day at a time. One step at a time. Try and not let things overwhelm you. I know, easier said than one. But try and stay in the present only. Let the future take care of itself. Godspeed.

rocky123

Thanks everyone...so far so good minus the lack of sleep and sweating...but nothings escalated besides anxiety and coming back to reality but that I can deal with its going to be a rough couple of days but I want to be detoxed by Monday for exams...fingers crossed I'll be good and done with sweating it out by then

Soberwolf

(((Rocky))) do you keep a personal journal Rocky ?

Putting my feelings on the page and off my chest really helped me

Your doing well Rocky you can pm anytime

Zebra1275

I second the opinion, get medical help. I went on 3 day benders, I can't imagine the discomfort of a 2 week bender. A doctor can help you through this and also make sure your blood pressure doesn't cause more problems.

Anna

Rocky, you sound like you're feeling better mentally. I'm glad you're getting through this. Good luck with your upcoming exams.