Euphoria gone .....
 

HELP please good people

am 19 days now and the initial rush of gladness is still here but now I am starting to look back

ALL the things I did drunk are now all I can see

lost job / husband lost job / money worries forget all the friends that have deserted me ...don't blame them

just realising what a selfish person I was and want to turn the clock back

know I can't but how do you cope ????

mike

xxxxxx

mike - at some point all of us have to face the fact that what's done is done.

Try and focus on the person you want to become, not on who you've been :)

I go through that. Sometimes a random memory will cross my mind from when I was drinking and I just cringe at my behavior. I've burned a lot of bridges and I've just let most of them go. Just make a new start and as long as your clean things will work out. Start over from now

thanks Dee you are a star as ever just feel like am looking at mountains unable to climb without my old mate / enemy he aint coming back but what is ????

Mike

sorry pity me post x

I didnlt know what was coming either...but it was good. Trust me. You'll amaze yourself :)

right have printed off these and am going to see my addiction therapist will check in later and thanks guys


mike

xxxx

hi guys back from addiction therapy ............she is so pleased with me as in not picking up but I need to be patient only been 19 days and I can't fix everything now ................

trouble is my impatience is not letting .................ever wanted to transplant your brain for a few hours just to get away ..............


sod off anxiety / panic just don't drink mike and will see what comes

thanks all I love you and hope you all ok

mike

xxxxxxxx

Yes...the clock can be an enemy in the first few weeks. I just wanted to be able to fast forward time to a time when I felt just a little better.

You sure ya want to turn back the clock? It could have turned out worse.

This is pretty common. First of to cope don't drink. It won't help.
Remember yer not a bad man, just a sick one. But there's a solution if you work for it.
From your previous tread:

"anyway getting a sponsor from my home group at AA....."

If you decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it then you are ready to take certain steps.


I'd suggest ya decide ya want what we have and get into action. Call your sponsor and get working on the steps.

The promises of the program- the promises that are in the big book will materialize If you work for them.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

Pray like crazy
Go to meetings
Work the program
Don't drink inn between.


I never woulda thought I'd be able to look at my past and be ok with it. But the program made it possible. It no longer haunts me. I'm not ashamed of what I have done back then. It is one of my greatest possessions I have today.
All due to the program in action.

That's the escape that drives most of us to the bottle or drugs. The need to get away from ourselves. Our troublesome brain and thoughts.

But recovery is about not escaping in a substance, but to find healthy alternatives to quiet the brain. Or if not, learning to just sit with it, to be comfortable with our sober selves.

One of my biggest failings is wanting everything in an instant ..

These things take time and you will feel better , the process is the process and it just takes some time … drinking only puts you back where you came from so really the only logical thing to do is carry on living and learning sober ,

keep on :You_Rock_

m

"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. No mater how far down on the scale we have gone we will see how our experience can benefit others."

For me this is the beauty of AA. I can take the wreckage of my past and turn it into an asset. Only a person that has lived through bottoming out can talk to someone who is at the bottom. It is gift to give my experience, strength, and hope to another suffering alcoholic.

I'm not that person anymore but I never want to forget where I came from and never want to go back to.

Mike, you're doing great. Learning to be patient was the hardest part of recovery for me. I never experienced the euphoria/pink cloud and in a way that was good. But, I wanted things fixed and sorted right now. But, like you, I had messes behind me that I had to deal with. The thing is, you can and will deal with these things. Have faith. :)