tate9685

I havnt posted in awhile. 7 days sober. Plan on visiting here daily and going back to AA. I have become a real loner. Thank goodness for this site. Going through it with my daughter, as that is a regular occurrence. Worried about her and unplanned pregnancy #2. She is unmarried and fathers aren't around. She totaled her car last week. She busted her lip but no other injuries. My father wants me to give her my car and let me have his, leaving him without transportation. I offered her this plan but then rescinded because my mom said that is enabling her. I'm glad she's not living with me right now because when she does its drama filled and she is lazy and let's me attend to her baby. She is not alcoholic but does smoke mj when not pregnant. If I don't give her my car, she will most likely lose her job and have to move back in. I don't know what to do. My mom says she is best off coming back home. I wish I could just concentrate on my sobriety. Karma is not allowing for that. I was an on again off again drunk mom and I've tried to make it up to her..but I don't see aa normal and peaceful life for either of us.

Anna

Hi,

I think you are right to want to focus on your recovery. You've tried to make up with your daughter and that's really all that you can do. You can stay sober and be there for her, but it sounds like you need some serious boundaries in your relationship with her. Have you considered AlAnon as a support for you?

mecanix

Tate ,
i found projecting my fears into the future about not having a normal life or whatever really effected my happiness and sobriety now .

I needed to keep my ceiling low look none to far ahead and not too far behind .

One day at a time is how i've learned to try and live my life .

Bestwishes, m

livinginhope

I am also snowed in. Can't get my little Honda down the street where I live. I am drinking lots of tea instead of coffee.

Although I am on Sober day 52, last night the old urge came upon me. Impending snow was always a great excuse for drinking. Of course none of us needed excuses, but snow was always grounds for buying--and drinking--extra booze.

I did not seriously consider drinking. I am enjoying the journey of recovery too much for that.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, tate. I remember your posts about your daughter's situation.

I am glad to hear that you are working on your recovery; I hope that you can keep your efforts 'front and center' for yourself and for the clarity of mind it will give you to deal with your daughter's situation.

Nice to see you, tate. Look forward to seeing more of you around the boards.

I echo Anna's suggestion about AlAnon.

tate9685

Alanon and AA? Well it wouldn't hurt to try. It would help me with boundaries. A lot of the blurred lines come from my guilt and overcompensation. And its amazing how many times I forget to stop projecting and live one day the best I can. Thanks guys for the great advice.

Wholesome

How old is your daughter? Why is it other peoples responsibilities to get her a car because she wrecked hers? Isn't that what banks and loans are for? Or public transit? It's nice to be in a position to be able to help family but why should your dad have to go without because she wrecked her car? My grandparents gave me their old car and they also gave my sister an old car but it was because they were getting a new one. They weren't giving up their car because I screwed up.

I agree with your mom... your daughter should have to live with the consequences that come with being an adult.

Soberwolf

Hi Tate congrats on 7 days heres some links for your area http://www.va-al-anon.org/

http://www.va-al-anon.org/meetings.htm

Virginia AA - Area 71 of Alcoholics Anonymous