Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things ReadyOrNot

Support really made a difference for me

Have you checked out the Class of February support thread yet?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2015-a-20.html

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ReadyOrNot123

Thank you Dee, I did post there and have read much of it. Posting does not come naturally to me, I'm self conscious I guess. As with most things, I'm sure as I get more practice that will subside, and I do need the support (and eventually, want to be able to provide some as well).

ReadyOrNot123

Well the best thing I can say about today is that it's close to over.

I didn't have a drink today. I did yesterday. I don't plan to tomorrow. Since you can't rewrite the past, I think it's the best I can hope for.

There's some great resources on this site. And posting does feel different than lurking. Like you have made a connection. I'm glad I jumped in.

Hevyn

We're very happy you jumped in Ready. I was self conscious too when I first joined - but soon I felt at home and part of things. Now, I can't imagine being without my friends here - and the daily encouragement that keeps me strong. We're so happy you found us - you're in good company. Congratulations on your sober day - you can do this.

ReadyOrNot123

Thank you Hevyn. Such kind words, I appreciate them.

JadedGirl

Well done and lovely to meet you. You've admitted it to yourself which is a huge achievement as is admitting you need support. Best of luck to you and keep posting xx

ReadyOrNot123

Thank you for the welcome. Admitting it to myself has never been my problem. I have known I am an alcoholic almost since the beginning.

I have read that people gain strength from reading old posts and realizing how far they have come and I think that makes sense. I hope reading about how anxious, depressed and regretful I am now helps the future me avoid the cycle restarting.

Because I am all of those things, anxious, depressed, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed and angry at myself. Ages ago I read something that stuck with me - you can't keep writing checks to the past - or something like that.

Now, since this state is at a complete standstill due to all of the snow that we have gotten, I'll start my workday here at the house. I'm sure that's not helping. I may not like commuting that much, but I would prefer it at the moment to climbing up the walls. At least I can read and post freely.

Good morning everyone.

Creekryder

Welcome.

ReadyOrNot123

I'm feeling much better still today. I have a lump in my stomach due to anxiety and I'm still tired, but most of the nasty feelings are much less.

I've started the Allen Carr book and while I haven't gotten too far into it, I like the tone and think it will be helpful. Work is keeping me busy, and this past lapse didn't impact it, so there's that. Basically no one knows but me, but that is enough. As the saying goes, no matter where you go, there you are. You can't escape yourself.

I'm grateful today.