beddy3484

I think you might be making an excuse for your husband. You should talk to the Doctor if you are having a serious concern. I think you might be worried about what your husbands reaction will be. Even if the Doctor isn't on the up and up he will probably react to you, because if he isn't on the up and up he doesn't want to draw the attention of someone that could potential get him in trouble. So I think he will listen to you either way. Take it from me, my wife stood up and challenged me and told who she needed to tell and it got me sober. I am newly sober but I wouldn't have even thought about it until she did what she needed to do. She did the right thing, as you will be doing the right thing if he has a problem and it is negatively effect his life and your marriage.

beddy3484

I wanted to apologize because I might have been offensive when I said "I think you might be making an excuse for your husband" when referring to not wanting to talk to the doctor. I didn't mean it in an offensive way so please do not take it that way. I more meant it like "do you think you could be making an excuse for your husband or wanted to avoid confrontation with him in regards to not wanting to talk to the doctor?"

Slekakos

He will sometimes take more than he should and run out of prescription before his next Drs. apptment. Not a pleasant person to be around! He told his brother & I that after Christmas he would taper down well he has been to the Drs. 3 times already and has not tapered down. I talked to him the other day about this and how I was concerned and he said he was scared but would talk to his Dr. on his next apptment and tell him he wants to tapered down. I told him I care about him but I need to do what's best for me & the boys and he needs to do this for himself.

Slekakos

No apologizes necessary I believe I am afraid of the confrontation with him and hate the yelling and crying that the whole world is against him and everybody blames him on and on! Do you think I should tell him I'm calling the Dr. or just do it.

beddy3484

Honestly, you have to do what you think is right and will get this taken care of. It would be nice to give him a heads up, but I have a feeling if you tell him he might be able to take you out of it.

Honestly, when I was high I was damaging the emotional relationship of my family and I am very happy that my wife did what she needed to do to get me clean. If she would have told me she was going to tell people I would have tried to talk her out of it and I might have been successful. If I was successful I wouldn't have had the motivation I need to quit.

Ultimately, it is up to you how you want to handle this situation. If his addiction is damaging your relationship and is eventually going to split you up, then getting this solved is your only option.

Dee74

Hi Slekakos

I know you want to do something about your husband's problem. You want to force him to stop.

But what if you can't?
At what point will you decide that this is detrimental to you and the kids?

D

zerothehero

I think Dee is making an essential point here. We cannot control others; we can only control ourselves. Have you considered how best to care for yourself and the rest of the family? Supports? Healthy coping strategies? My sister just spent a week in my house. She is addicted to painkillers and alcohol. There is no reasoning with her when it comes to her substance abuse, and this was also the case with my mother years ago. I called them on their BS and distorted thinking, but it has never done any good. In the end, I decided I just need to take care of myself. It's out of my hands. I know this sounds like giving up, but sometimes when an addict realizes people who love them want distance to protect their own hearts, this can jolt the addict into taking action. But this is not guaranteed. I feel for you. It's hard to love people who continue to ruin their health and their lives.

Slekakos

I started going to Nar-Anon meetings which have been somewhat helpful. I feel if I continue to attend more meetings the more helpful it will become. In the meantime my husband told me that he was going to tamper down on his morphine sulfate (he takes 1 60 mg pill and 2 30 mg pills equally 120 mg). When the day came for his Drs. visit he told me that he was not going to tamper down and I said why the hell not and this is cramp he tells me. He can't do it because our 18 year old sons are stressing him out and he doesn't want to start to tamper down. Inside I'm steaming!! I say to him that he can do what he wants and I am going to do what I need to do so don't be surprised if I not here one day. He then says he is going to tamper down because and he wants to do it and because he is afraid to lose me. I told him that is not the reason to do it. You have to want to and need to do it for yourself. He says he is just afraid and not sure he can do it and there is no way he can go down 30mg he says he can only go down 15 mg. Not knowing what to say to him I said do what you think you can handle. I came home from work and he was all happy and said he's Dr. tampered him down 15 mg. So now he is on 1 60 mg pill, 1 30 mg pill and 1 15 mg. He sees this Dr. every 2 weeks so it cost us $120.00 for the morphine & $10.00 for his alprazolam and $50.00 dollars for he's visits which totals $180.00 and he is also on lexapro. He got fired from his job and is on SSA and barely brings home any money. He says (which means nothing to me but I am still glad he did go down a little) that he will stay on 15 mg for about a month and tamper down some more than. Than he proceeds to tell me that the Dr. told him that he can not totally go off the morphine sulfate because of the pain he's in. (which seems like ******** to me) I ask what pain are you in and he says my knee which he was operated on over 9 yrs. ago and was when he got addicted to the pain pills and was put on suboxone for 8 yrs. I ask him how come you never complained of pain before and he just says that it has been bothering him which is really true we would have heard him complain everyday! So I think I will see if he goes down more in a month and if not then I need to get out! It's taking to much toll on me I suffer from severe headaches, stomach aches, neck pain and other things I actually been physically & mentally ill because of all of these. Just wanted you to know what was going on and that I had not disappeared.