So here I am
 

Hi everyone. I am new here and here for a reason. I drink in excess at least three times a week. When I do drink I have blackouts. I wake up not knowing what happened the night before. I am so sick of drinking and want to quit badly. I usually drink beer but the last two times I drank It was vodka. I do not know what happened to me. I was one who could have a drink and walk away but now I can't have just one. Just last night I did it again and this is after I said I am quitting...for the umpteenth time. I am depressed and hate myself. I need help.

Welcome to the forums! You'll find many here who have similar stories.

Don't hate yourself help yourself.

Welcome, Babbsiam, to SR. You are not alone. Many of us have been where you are.

Welcome to SR Babbsiam :)

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Welcome to the family. :hug: You don't have to hate yourself any more. Stop drinking and learn to live a rewarding sober life. I didn't think I could stop drinking, but I kept trying and finally got it right. :) I no longer wake up feeling like death and hating myself. Now I wake up eager for the day to unfold.

You can do this too. We are here to offer our support. :hug:

I pretty much have the same story. I drink vodka alone and to blackout watching YouTube videos. I'm gonna talk to my dr. about this when I see her on Tuesday. I drink cuz of a breakup I had in the fall that hit me harder than I initially thought. Don't hate yourself though, change yourself. Life is about the future, not the past.

Welcome to the Forum Babbsiam!! :wave:

I was blackout vodka drinker for a couple years. Mostly at home alone. The blackouts were causing me trouble though. Could never remember things past 10pm, always terrified of what I was up to. The depression the next day drove me to continue drinking rather than dwell in self-loathing.

I know how you are feeling now. Keep posting and fighting the low moods.

Welcome to where people understand you because we’ve been where you are. The sooner you stop drinking alcohol the better off you are mentally and emotionally.
I suggest reading a lot of posts here and seeing first hand the workings at AA meetingS in your area. You don’t have to commit to anything unless you feel like it. Just say your first name if you want to. It’s a place to learn what we don’t know about alcohol and stopping it’s intake.

BE WELL