Oswin

Just been to a leaving do which ended up with a free bar. I wasn't tempted and left early. But I left my husband and friends there getting drunk. My husband drinks nearly every night. But because he can still function next day and doesn't have rants and blackouts this is seen as acceptable. I've come away feeling angry, but am I angry at myself because I can't drink or angry at him because he can. Am I always going to get bored and have to leave early. Feeling exhausted. Sorry for moaning.

ScottFromWI

It's certainly difficult learning to live a sober life. But think about it for a second...you've got a full sober day ahead of you. And a hangover/guilt free day coming tomorrow. Your husband should be jealous of you. I look back at all the time I threw away in my life drinking and it really is a shame. But I have today to live a much better life...and so do you.

Oswin

Yes good to look at it from a different perspective thanks. If I had been drinking at a free bar, I wouldn't have been able to move tomorrow. So waking up hangover free tomorrow will be a definite bonus.

SoberLeigh

^^^^ Exactly.

Keep on, Oswin. Today's struggle is worth the beautiful sober future which awaits you.

Soberwolf

It gets better Oswin you done really well give yourself some credit here

Alynn

It's very hard. Good job for not caving!!

JadedGirl

I can't answer whether it will always be this way but am damn hoping it won't be myself too. Well done though for managing to leave without giving in and also for continuing when you have a partner who drinks. I'm on my own and have to avoid anyone drinking at the moment so have a huge amount of respect for you. Definitely understand the anger. I feel myself getting angry at anyone who mentions alcohol at the moment, anger at them for being able to drink (which I know is unfair) and anger at myself for getting into the situation where I can't. You're doing fantastic so be kind to yourself xx

Jen73

Awesome on being strong and can just walk away from it. I am not sure I could do that, I am not going to find out if I can, until I had to go to place like that.

Don't be angry about it, be proud you didn't drink and go toward your goals to keep u sober.

I am on my 12 day today, I still have the craving for alcohol, but keeping me busy with being a mom, taking my daughter to cheer and stuff, posting on here, and going to my meeting every week, its getting better everyday.

CheezyLady

I am impressed with your strength! I just joined and haven't quit drinking yet. Quitting smoking after 20 years was hard, but husband didn't smoke so that made it easier. Husband does drink daily and we have lots of alcohol in the house. I'm going to need way more willpower than I needed for smoking. Thanks for your rant! It gives me hope that I can do this.

LBrain

my husband drinks nearly every night, he's out getting drunk right now, but he "never" has blackouts and can go to work...

I wish I could drink like him...

oops, I kinda paraphrased that some... but if you analyze it and think about it... just saying ya know...

Impurrfect

Good for you Oswin!! Though alcohol was not my issue, crack was, I totally identify with the anger. I don't know if it's "normal" but I went through it.

What I learned is what everyone has said here. Facing tomorrow with a clear head and no regrets is priceless. FWIW, the anger didn't last very long.

I think I had to go through a period of grief for my addiction. Anger is one of those stages. Yes, it was totally wrong, totally bad for me, but it was a part of me.

What I learned, here, is to reach out and post what I was going through. No matter what it was, there was someone else who "got it". That is the beauty of SR.

Congratulations to you on waking up tomorrow, with no hangover and no regrets

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hevyn

It does feel strange in the beginning, Oswin. We're so used to it being part of us. Eventually you'll be comfortable and happy with your new way of life. Proud of you for sticking to your plan.

Sasha4

With time, I have got a bit more light hearted about it now.

I watch people have 1 glass and wine and think 'why is it different for me?

Why can they have 1 drink or 2 and talk and be sociable and ladylike and nice?

Why would it most likely for me lead to dancing on tables, flashing my pants, thinking I'm Kylie Minogue, getting an enormous ladder in my tights too and having no memory of it whatsoever the next morning until there are photo's on facebook to remind me?'

Just one of the things I guess!

Wishing you the best.

PS - remember to hoover really loudly tomorrow morning at 7.30am. Just to test if he has got a monumental hangover or not!!

Sasha4

Or sought your saucepan cupboard out if hoovering at 7.30am is not your thing.

Nothing better than waking up to crashing saucepans on a sunday morning when you are feeling slightly delicate xx

Nofearnobeer

Way to stay strong Oswin...I know the feeling of frustration all to well...Keep at it!

Oswin

I do wish I could drink like him, not every night but at an evening out. I would like to be able to drink and enjoy it without it being hell.

His deal is different to mine its messing with his health and he's sticking his head in the sand and pretending it isn't. So I guess if your a heavy drinker it catches up with you one way or the other. Hoping he will realise its a problem soon as I think it has to be something you realise and do for yourself. Plus if I say something its a bit hypocritical.

Dee74

If there's one thing I tell people, it's that early recovery is not the way it's always going to be

I spent the last few hours playing music - by the end of the gig it was getting pretty wild...drinking to the left of me and 'jazz cigarettes' to the right....(I stand by the fan, lol)

I did the gig, said cheerio and came home.

I wasn't angry or annoyed. I had a good gig...musos will always party hard and that's their thing...it's no longer mine.

Like Deepak Chopra says
In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.

My recovery comes with me wherever I go

You'll get to this Zen point too Oswin, lol

D