Really struggling today - close to drinking
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm just about to hit a year sobriety. I have had several DAYS like what you are describing, where I just get the "effits" and think I might have one.
The thoughts are just thoughts. I understand that some days it's a huge battle. That is addiction, right there. That's pretty much the definition.
I've made it through a lot of "days" like you are describing, and you will too. You're doing great. Keep talking yourself through it - whatever works for you.
Just don't pick up that first drink. That's all you have to do.
The thoughts are just thoughts. I understand that some days it's a huge battle. That is addiction, right there. That's pretty much the definition.
I've made it through a lot of "days" like you are describing, and you will too. You're doing great. Keep talking yourself through it - whatever works for you.
Just don't pick up that first drink. That's all you have to do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
There is no "little time back". I tired it and it seems to be an all of nothing deal and every time I stop its harder. Don't pick up. Call a friend - or a family member or go to a meeting. Or the library or movies. Anywhere you can't drink. It will pass
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Originally Posted by Hendrix 
I'll stop again tomorrow. Surely one afternoon / evening won't hurt
the "one afternoon / evening"
transformed itself into a week / month.
Or more.
Have a safe, sober Happy Birthday!
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Happy Birthday Hendrix! 
Have you watched The Usual Suspects? The scene with Kevin Spacey is coming to mind where he says "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." What a fun movie.
Whenever my brain gets on a certain track, I must "jump the rails" and get on another lest I become my own crazy, maddening defense/offense/judge/jury. The threats from drinking are real and do exist.
It is great that you are here talking it out so you get off that maddening track as soon as possible.
Have you watched The Usual Suspects? The scene with Kevin Spacey is coming to mind where he says "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." What a fun movie.
Whenever my brain gets on a certain track, I must "jump the rails" and get on another lest I become my own crazy, maddening defense/offense/judge/jury. The threats from drinking are real and do exist.
It is great that you are here talking it out so you get off that maddening track as soon as possible.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
Happy Birthday Hendrix. I joined Sept 1st. Relapsed half a dozen times. I'm on Day 2 and still shaky, anxious, angry, sleep deprived, my stomach is upset and I feel like I could just fall apart. Trust me you don't want to go back to this place.
Enjoy your birthday. Get yourself a cake and ice cream, go to a movie, do something fun but don't drink. Commit to each hr and check in each hr. Push through.
I don't want to be in this place again and neither do you. Here for you!
Enjoy your birthday. Get yourself a cake and ice cream, go to a movie, do something fun but don't drink. Commit to each hr and check in each hr. Push through.
I don't want to be in this place again and neither do you. Here for you!
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Thanks everyone for taking the time and care to reply last night. It was the most miserable day but I went to bed early and didn't drink.
I can honestly say that without your genuine caring posts I'd be trying to drink away a stinking hangover today full of self loathing.
The sun's shining, I feel a bit better, and most of all, I'm still sober.
You are all fantastic, special people - thank you x
I can honestly say that without your genuine caring posts I'd be trying to drink away a stinking hangover today full of self loathing.
The sun's shining, I feel a bit better, and most of all, I'm still sober.
You are all fantastic, special people - thank you x
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Well done Hendrix, very well done !
Yeah I still get days like that too, but it passes, as you have found out. You've just built some sober muscles !
Hope you are feeling proud of yourself today
Yeah I still get days like that too, but it passes, as you have found out. You've just built some sober muscles !
Hope you are feeling proud of yourself today
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by alphaomega
There's this little thing called "tomorrow".
And you will be sick, and nauseous, and shakey, and panicked, and you will have to dry out all over again.
Is it worth it ?
And you will be sick, and nauseous, and shakey, and panicked, and you will have to dry out all over again.
Is it worth it ?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Congratulations! I broke my sobriety to celebrate my birthday this last year. It took me almost 4 months to get back, & a lot of damage was done. I'm about to (again) hit my 6 months tomorrow.
I love all the posts regarding "giving yourself the gift of sobriety." It truly is a gift - to the body, the mind, the spirit. For me, transforming abstinence from drudgery to gift is the work. Sobriety shouldn't feel like a giant effort compared to pouring toxic poison into my body & then staggering through the effects. Why does that feel like a treat?
But, I do have days in which I mourn the ability to be "care free." Then I wonder (& am fascinated by) the strange connection between sobriety & all my worries & anxieties... It should be sobriety which feels more care-free than drinking, but I think all of us struggle with that at moments...
You look good with that new "sober muscle" under your shirt there...
My adult daughter, who is new to sobriety (& transforming herself everyday!) commented yesterday that it is far cooler to be sober. I asked "amongst us?" & she said no, that she feels more cool & attractive when she tells someone that she doesn't drink alcohol. I want to feel that more often (rather than feeling deprived or "other"). I want to wear my sobriety jauntily and confidently. That is what I hope I am headed toward as I hang in there & stay sober, especially on "special days" - now fully felt without alcohol.
I love all the posts regarding "giving yourself the gift of sobriety." It truly is a gift - to the body, the mind, the spirit. For me, transforming abstinence from drudgery to gift is the work. Sobriety shouldn't feel like a giant effort compared to pouring toxic poison into my body & then staggering through the effects. Why does that feel like a treat?
But, I do have days in which I mourn the ability to be "care free." Then I wonder (& am fascinated by) the strange connection between sobriety & all my worries & anxieties... It should be sobriety which feels more care-free than drinking, but I think all of us struggle with that at moments...
You look good with that new "sober muscle" under your shirt there...
My adult daughter, who is new to sobriety (& transforming herself everyday!) commented yesterday that it is far cooler to be sober. I asked "amongst us?" & she said no, that she feels more cool & attractive when she tells someone that she doesn't drink alcohol. I want to feel that more often (rather than feeling deprived or "other"). I want to wear my sobriety jauntily and confidently. That is what I hope I am headed toward as I hang in there & stay sober, especially on "special days" - now fully felt without alcohol.
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