New here, not new to sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Latham, NY
Posts: 10
New here, not new to sobriety
Hello! I've been sober for five years now, and just found out my spouse (still drinks heavily) is considering leaving me and our disabled teenager because our life together is unsatisfying, and he feels he can do better. He also admitted to emotional affairs.
I supposed I've been dreading this day for five years, because we used to be drinking buddies, and I knew when I sobered up, he wasn't ready, and might never be.
I still love him, but am finding it challenging to imagine a future for our family.
We're going into couples counseling and I'm going to see someone on my own, to talk about how to stay sober while my life goes down in flames.
I need to be around other people who are doing this, and believe I can stay strong. Not for the future, but for this minute. Right now.
I supposed I've been dreading this day for five years, because we used to be drinking buddies, and I knew when I sobered up, he wasn't ready, and might never be.
I still love him, but am finding it challenging to imagine a future for our family.
We're going into couples counseling and I'm going to see someone on my own, to talk about how to stay sober while my life goes down in flames.
I need to be around other people who are doing this, and believe I can stay strong. Not for the future, but for this minute. Right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
I am sorry for what you are going through, whenimdone. And I am even sorrier if you feel that your being sober is somehow a contributing factor to the problems in your marriage.
I don't know you and don't know much about your situation, but I doubt that your situation would be better if you had continued to drink for the last 5 years. And I doubt even more that your situation would be improved by your return to alcohol. Do you agree?
Having been divorced myself, I know how painful it can be, especially when children are involved. But, trust me, you are better served by dealing with these issues with a clear head and a clear conscience.
I am glad you are here with us, and I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing. Good luck. And welcome to SR.
I don't know you and don't know much about your situation, but I doubt that your situation would be better if you had continued to drink for the last 5 years. And I doubt even more that your situation would be improved by your return to alcohol. Do you agree?
Having been divorced myself, I know how painful it can be, especially when children are involved. But, trust me, you are better served by dealing with these issues with a clear head and a clear conscience.
I am glad you are here with us, and I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing. Good luck. And welcome to SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Latham, NY
Posts: 10
Thanks, everyone. I just came back from a therapy session with a great therapist, and feel incredibly angry. That's not a bad thing, that's how I sobered up in the first place...got angry and super focused. I need to remember what it felt like and channel it. No one made the decision to drink but me, and no one made the decision to stop but me. He has to work his own crap out, and I have to face this with a clear head.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
