Dealing with a Teenager
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
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Dealing with a Teenager
My daughter is 14, but she has been very mature for her age. It is very hard to cope with her Mood Swings. Oh boy!! I notice them before but it seems to get worse. I know she has been thru a lot.
Once again, she is nice then in seconds she is mean. This is what I can't cope with. She is addressing her emotions on me by yelling or be louder than anyone in the room. I have asked her to talk to me not yell at me.
She tells me this is how I am, Mom!! I can't help myself.
I am trying to breath here and understand when I was a Teenager and how my parents cope with it.
Just need to get this off my chest before, I take her out to get some things.
I promise I am not going to drink tonight!!
Once again, she is nice then in seconds she is mean. This is what I can't cope with. She is addressing her emotions on me by yelling or be louder than anyone in the room. I have asked her to talk to me not yell at me.
She tells me this is how I am, Mom!! I can't help myself.
I am trying to breath here and understand when I was a Teenager and how my parents cope with it.
Just need to get this off my chest before, I take her out to get some things.
I promise I am not going to drink tonight!!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Teenagers can definitely try our patience. They seem to have turned into strangers overnight. They are struggling to understand who they are and cope with all those unfamiliar hormones.
(((Jen))))
(((Jen))))
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I'm not quite there yet, my oldest is 12, but I can see the changes in him starting to happen. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years! And I would never want to relive mine... being a teenager was/is hard. They don't know how to handle emotions yet, damn lots of adults don't know how to handle their emotions. Plus they don't have the perspective to know that the things they worry about really aren't the end of the world even if it seems that way. My son was really upset and in tears last night because he got 50% in health. No big deal right? The rest of his report card was A's and B's. Awesome! But instead he's coming down on himself..... Then half an hour later he's laughing and joking around!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I gotta preface this by saying I don't have a teenager nor have I had a teenager, that comes in 3 years for me. I was kind of thinking to myself, as difficult as someone thinks of the teenager as..... The teenager is probably also thinking their parent(s) are difficult. I am supposing for there to be progress there you'd have to have some sort of understanding on both sides of the fence.
Have you ever thought about asking your daughter to talk with you? Sit down over some milk and cookies or something and have a real conversation. Since your the parent you might have to place yourself in a vulnerable position to start the conversation IE " I know my drinking bothers you, how does that make you feel, is there anything you want to talk to me about concerning my drinking" and then do the hard thing, sit there and listen to whatever she has to say, take nothing personally, and be understand, again the goal in my mind would be to open up the lines of communication.
Just my 2 cents, don't have a teenager, but they like us are human, have perspectives and everyone want to feel accepted and heard and understood.
Have you ever thought about asking your daughter to talk with you? Sit down over some milk and cookies or something and have a real conversation. Since your the parent you might have to place yourself in a vulnerable position to start the conversation IE " I know my drinking bothers you, how does that make you feel, is there anything you want to talk to me about concerning my drinking" and then do the hard thing, sit there and listen to whatever she has to say, take nothing personally, and be understand, again the goal in my mind would be to open up the lines of communication.
Just my 2 cents, don't have a teenager, but they like us are human, have perspectives and everyone want to feel accepted and heard and understood.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,937
I had a teenager. In the long run she was good for my sobriety but man was she a pain.
Oddly enough, she seemed to do better when I spent more time with her, but man did she make that seem like the wrong decision from time to time.
Oddly enough, she seemed to do better when I spent more time with her, but man did she make that seem like the wrong decision from time to time.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
Praise be - bless their hearts and whatever other southern pleasantry you say before the "but". My 11 year old daughter is entering the abyss. I don't know if moody is a subject she takes at school, or is a right of passage with puberty? the other day we went on a family hike. She refused to speak to me the whole time. An hour later she hugged me. I have no idea why I was boxed out, or subsequently loved.
My 10 year old boy? food, poop, sleep, football. Easy peezy
My 10 year old boy? food, poop, sleep, football. Easy peezy
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
Have you ever thought about asking your daughter to talk with you? Sit down over some milk and cookies or something and have a real conversation. Since your the parent you might have to place yourself in a vulnerable position to start the conversation IE " I know my drinking bothers you, how does that make you feel, is there anything you want to talk to me about concerning my drinking" and then do the hard thing, sit there and listen to whatever she has to say, take nothing personally, and be understand, again the goal in my mind would be to open up the lines of communication.
Yes, I have and I understand it scares her and I am a monster when I drink!
I guess since I don't drink anymore, I want to keep that line of communication open. Its going to take her some time to trust me again, It just hurts my heart when I see her push me away time to time. I do take it personally cause I love her and she knows that.
Thank you
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