Penguins

Hi Everyone,

I'm now at the lowest point of a two-year-long relapse. I went to treatment years back and stayed sober for over 3 years after that. Now I feel completely trapped since going back out. Exercise became my stress relief during my clean time, and I felt and looked the best I ever had. Now I can't even put together 48 hours sober. It's been two years of drinking constantly, and I can't do it anymore. Anyway, just feeling hopeless and am glad for all the people here that take the time to share their stories. I just want this obsession to go away like it did for the years I was clean.

Thanks for reading and for any advice/feedback.

Anna

You were sober for 3 years before, then you can do it again. I found the obsession went away once I stopped drinking. Are you drinking now or have you been able to stop? And, you can get back into the exercise routine again, slowly but surely. Have faith that you can do this.

SoberLeigh

My feelings exactly.

Welcome to SR, Penquins.

You most certainly can do this.

Soberwolf

Welcome Penguins nice to meet you

Channel that 3 year energy bk again bud you can do this

Ghostlight1

I've had fairly long periods of sobriety only to fall flat on my face again.
This went on for years.
You had three years, that's something to be proud of.
I now stay away from the things that tempted me to drink, although they're every where. Like a rainy day makes me want to drink. No rhyme or reason to it.
Maybe if you put the time drinking into working out you'll have an outlet for your obsession.
I know how hard it is. I was a long time heavy drinker . Obsessed as you say.
Once I attended AA for awhile, a light bulb went off. Here were people just like me who were keeping their drinking at bay. Didn't know that. That there were other alcohols who drank like me and had found a solution to their malady.

I would drink again, but it was never the same. Is it that way for you? I'm thinking it may be since you're here.
I felt guilty when I drank. I knew better. Still didn't stop me. I had to find a Higher Power greater than myself to finally get sober. I did and it's been over four years now, and I was a bad drunk.

Welcome to the forums. You'll find lots of support here. Reading a post like yours helps keep me sober and lets me know what it's still like 'out there'. I don't ever want to go back and if I don't drink today, I have a chance to be saved.
Best to you. And I hope you stick around.

Penguins

Thanks to all for your kind words and support. I've only been able to put a few sober days together over the past few years. Like someone above said, the obsession will go. There was a time when taking a drink sounded like an absolute impossibility, and why would I ever do that to myself again!? Problem is that I only have been asking myself this in the morning when my heads heavy and stomach sick. I'm trying to hang in there and hope to be around this forum for a while. Thanks again and best to all

Thatdeliveryguy

Welcome back to sobriety and to the forums. Time to realign, adjust, stop drinking and make a new future for yourself. No need to dwell on the relapse, look forward now and get the help you need.

ccam1973

Welcome Penguins. Glad you found SR.

As Anna said, you know how to beat this. You've done it in the past. Dig deep, set your goals and just live day by day, sober.

After two years of drinking, it's probably tough to remember how hard the early days are. Do what ever it takes to avoid drinking.

Stay strong, it gets easier. You'll remember soon enough how good it feels to be sober.

You can do this.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Penguins!!

Dee74

There's a ton of support here Penguins - glad you've joined us

Penguins

I'm starting to appreciate the 'one day at a time' concept. I never gave it much thought because I was in treatment for 28 days in 2006, which made it way easier. That was years ago and now I finally made it for one day without drinking; it's been a while. Glad for all the people here and I really want to stay around. That sounded like such an easy thing to do before, but now it's really a struggle.

Dee74

I'm really glad you're back Penguins

Seeing as you're here, why not check out our Class of March support thread? It for everyone quitting this month

D

FreeOwl

If I were in your shoes I'd;

Immediately write a list of all the reasons I want to embrace sobriety.
Hang it where I can see it at the start of every day.
Break out my Big Book - or get one if I didn't have one.
Get to the next available AA meeting.
Commit to hitting the gym every day at a specific time - write it in the calendar for at least a month out.
Write a list of things I have to be grateful for - hand it next to the other list. Read them both each morning.
Log onto SR every day after I read the lists.
Commit myself, out loud, fully and completely, to embracing sobriety. Every morning.

And right after that, out loud, say "Please help me today".

And every day at bed say out loud "Thank you".


GO

newpage119

Morning Penguins!
Congrats on making it through one day! That is the first step....

Each quit gets harder and harder to do, so make this one your last and permanent.

Google "alcohol kindling" and read up on it.
That topic scared me into staying sober.

biminiblue

Good! Onward to Day Two.

I like what FreeOwl said, those are simple things you can do everyday.

When I first quit, I came here every day and read. Posted. Read recovery material, ate well, slept as much as I could. I got up, got showered, made my bed, got dressed and got to a morning AA meeting for those first four months. I don't go to AA anymore, but it was helpful in the beginning to reinforce my decision daily.

Anna

Penguins it's good to see you back. Good for you for getting through Day 1 and on to Day 2.

anattaboy

I can relate Penguins and congrats on 24 hrs. I had the hardest time letting go but just knew if I could get 24 I could do this. That was over 7,000+ hrs. ago for me. You are doing it. Don't stop.