Fulton

Hi Forum
I woke up this morning with no real memory of yesterday. I have vague notions of what went on, but nothing really concrete. This has started to happen when I drink. It is terrifying, but on some primal level, I still like to drink. I know I do. But I have no idea why. I woke up so scared today. I feel like when I can't remember the past, I have no control of the future.
I miss my wife today.

Soberwolf

Welcome Fulton its nice to meet you youl find a ton of support here

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Fulton, to SR. Loss of memory and blackouts are very frightening.

You will find support, understanding and encouragement here.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Fulton!!

Opivotal

Welcome Fulton!

I experienced blackouts, they were awful for me. I can sure understand, how you're feeling.

Sobriety was the only way for me to stop them and gain control of my life.

You'll find lots of awesome people here ready to share and support you.

headcase1

My advise is to avoid drinking completely.Don't be afraid to ask for professional help.

OnMyWay7

Welcome and that must be scary. Stay here for support.

Jen73

Blackouts are not good at all, I have been there not alone. I would stop drinking and leave the past and go forward. A lot of nice people who have or had this too. and this forum can help you. It is working for me!!

"Don't Look Back, Look Forward"

Anna

Blackouts are absolutely terrifying, no question about that. I had some days like that during the last months of my drinking and I will never forget how scary it was.

Know for sure you never have to go through that again.

Thanos

Experiencing true honest-to-goodness blackouts was the thing that really motivated me to get sober after years of daily drinking and half-hearted attempts to quit without ever putting in the real work it took to do it. The last three times I drank I woke up feeling like someone else had been using my body without my knowledge and I had no idea what they had done with it ... I think my brain had been chipped away at over the years and I had reached some critical point where my brain was shutting down (that's what it felt like).

I haven't been sober that long but it is a world of difference now! So much of the fog has lifted. It hasn't been easy but it is so worth it. I finally feel really positive about the present and future, even when I feel depressed and things are getting me down.

chickippo

oh, very much this. i wasn't 'getting drunk' any more, i was plunging headlong into 2 day blackouts and severe withdrawals when i stopped.

it nearly killed me. sober life is amazing, mostly.

be well.

LBrain

I'd just like to add, when you black out, you have no control over the past as well.

Thatdeliveryguy

I remember blackouts, I would be watching a football game at the casino hanging with my friends. Suddenly I wake up at home on the bed, or sometimes on the floor, or other times in the car. The scariest was waking up in a field covered in blood at 6 am on a Monday morning, last thing I remembered the night before was visiting a friend across town. So I don't know how I ended up in a field behind my house covered in blood with abrasions everywhere.

Scarier yet, was driving in that state. If you can't remember getting home obviously I was like triple dui or something. I always figured I would one day wake up in jail with serious charges, it never happened....... Wipes brow!

Welcome to the fourums, you will get plenty of support here. If you don't mind me asking, what is going on with your wife. Did she leave you? Hang in there hit the forums often people here 24 7 365.