Day 4 and My First Meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: IL
Posts: 33
Day 4 and My First Meeting
I woke up today on day 4 feeling well rested and happy I didn't drink the night before, yet I was overcome with emotion and sadness over giving up drinking, for good, along with sadness over all the many ways I have screwed up so many things in my life thanks to that same booze I was mourning. I made a decision at 8:30am to get off my couch, shower and drag my butt to an AA meeting before work for the first time ever...what could it hurt, right. I pulled up terrified, shaking, fighting tears before I even walked through the doorway. I never dreamed that the meeting of 40 alcoholics would change the meetings complete focus to me for the hour. Part of me wanted to run out of there, mostly because I didn't want to break down sobbing in front of all those people. A woman, noticing I was a wreck, got out of chair before they began and walked over and sat right next to me to comfort me and stayed there the entire hour....so nice of her.
Long story short...it was a good thing. I feel more of a sense of calm tonight. Not frantically trying to get through these evening hours. I know it will not be easy, but, I do think it may be a good fit for me to have that comradery.
Long story short...it was a good thing. I feel more of a sense of calm tonight. Not frantically trying to get through these evening hours. I know it will not be easy, but, I do think it may be a good fit for me to have that comradery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: California
Posts: 87
I was wiping away tears my 1st meeting, and again when I relapsed 2 weeks ago and went back to a meeting. It's the realization "wow, I really am an alcoholic". Now when I go to meetings, I feel joy. Acceptance and the lifting of the obsession is great.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Kasia71 
I never dreamed that the meeting of 40 alcoholics would change the meetings complete focus to me for the hour.
They know and now I know. That is what is all about, one alcoholic helping another alcoholic.
Keep coming back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: IL
Posts: 33
Here's the issue I have...and I've heard this from others before. Why so much God stuff. I get it that they say find your own "Higher Power"...but with the Lord's Prayer recited and God talked about non-stop it didn't feel that way. I have no problem with those that are religious, but if you're not it kindof pushes us away vs drawing us in. I'm trying to work through that part in my head. Can I go and disregard that while it seems to be a big part of it.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Meetings differ as to what aspects of the Steps and Traditions they emphasize. I have been to a meeting that is as you describe and other meetings that are very different. There are even agnostic meetings out there.
But if you can't find another meeting, it IS possible to work the program without using a traditional "God" as your higher power. I do. However, atheist views might be controversial at some meetings.
But if you can't find another meeting, it IS possible to work the program without using a traditional "God" as your higher power. I do. However, atheist views might be controversial at some meetings.
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