Nattydread80

Well it has been 23 hours now since I last used. The misses and I had a spat and exchanged a few low blows and now I am sitting in the other room butt hurt and trying to do Algebra homework but I keep sobbing.

I guess I should give a little background info, I am a college student have a great girl who has been understanding both times I messed up. I was clean from crack the first 3 years we were together and I met a girl to buy suboxone from because I got cut off and need them to not relapse on heroin, so one day I went to grab a few from her and she was hitting her pipe and I relapsed and started using again, this started in I think last april or march, well in that time, unbeknownst to my girl, who I love and care about but my actions would suggest otherwise, I spent an 8500$ accident settlement, A 4500$ car being sold and another 5600$ insurance claim from some damage to our house, she found out and the obvious happened but she forgave me and I promised not to do it again, well I did it again and now we are back at square one. I know I messed up and it is going to take a long time iif ever to build the trust up again. I really feel like giving up on us and going to the streets to live and be a junky crackhead.

I have a good support system and family and all that but its really hard I just want to get f'd up and be a scumbag and forget all the people I let down and hurt. I hurt so much right now.

OnMyWay7

Natty. Well you're making the right step in posting here and trying to get more support. Sorry you're hurting.

Soberwolf

Congrats on 24h sober

Jillian2563

Please don't go back to getting ****** up. You are not only hurting yourself, but hurting your girl. I know because my husband is a meth addict. I love him so much, but I don't love him when he's using. And then that causes even more problems, because he thinks I don't care. But when he's using I have to detach myself.

You can get sober and have a good life. Leave all this behind you.

Best wishes!

Anna

Natty, we do understand how much this hurts, and it's such a hard part of recovery. You have to accept that you relapsed and then move forward. Try to let go of the shame and guilt and use the feelings you have now to propel you forward. You can do this.

Thatdeliveryguy

Sounds like you have are having a rough go of it. However, you've made it 24 hours, 24 hours and you owned it like a boss! Congratulations and keep it up man, you're GF is worth it, you're worth it. I would see about going to see a doctor, and getting counseling, NA or some sort of outside support as well.

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Natty!!