Need Advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 4
Need Advice
Hello, well Ive been dating this narcotics addict for 3 months now.
When we just started I didn't know he had a drug problem until our second month together. I've been really understanding and supportive of him when it comes to going to meetings and staying sober. I know there's not much I can do because being sober is all up to him, but I'm always there for him when he needs someone to talk to or when he's having a rough day and craving drugs.
This past week has been very hard on me, whenever he has a bad day craving drugs the mood he's in really does affect the time we spend with each other. He can get real quiet or stress out and I'm just sitting worthless because I can't do much. I know he loves me and I love him and I know I can't be first because getting sober comes first but it just hurts so much sometimes. It hurts when we can't hang out as much because of meetings and then I feel like he doesn't love me but its just that I worry that he will get over me and meet someone in a meeting. I know it's silly of me to think that way but that's how it is. I just really love him and his mom has been very grateful having me around to help him out specially because she's a recovered addict as well. I still want to be with him but it's so hard and it hurts when I worry so much. Can anyone give me advice please.
When we just started I didn't know he had a drug problem until our second month together. I've been really understanding and supportive of him when it comes to going to meetings and staying sober. I know there's not much I can do because being sober is all up to him, but I'm always there for him when he needs someone to talk to or when he's having a rough day and craving drugs.
This past week has been very hard on me, whenever he has a bad day craving drugs the mood he's in really does affect the time we spend with each other. He can get real quiet or stress out and I'm just sitting worthless because I can't do much. I know he loves me and I love him and I know I can't be first because getting sober comes first but it just hurts so much sometimes. It hurts when we can't hang out as much because of meetings and then I feel like he doesn't love me but its just that I worry that he will get over me and meet someone in a meeting. I know it's silly of me to think that way but that's how it is. I just really love him and his mom has been very grateful having me around to help him out specially because she's a recovered addict as well. I still want to be with him but it's so hard and it hurts when I worry so much. Can anyone give me advice please.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Welcome to SR,Flowers; I am very sorry for what brings you here.
Have you thought about attending Alanon?
You may also want to pst in the Friends & Families forum here at SR.
Glad you found SR.
Have you thought about attending Alanon?
You may also want to pst in the Friends & Families forum here at SR.
Glad you found SR.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm glad you found us too Flowers. There's a lot of support here 
Recovery does take up a lot of time and energy and it must be hard on you - but I'm worried that you're thinking about your guy more than you are yourself tho?
You deserve a life too - do you have friends or interests of your own?
There's goos advice above too...maybe being around other people who've been through this might help, and give you a little something that's 'yours', into the bargain.
I hope you'll check out our Family and Friends forums and maybe even NarAnon
D
Recovery does take up a lot of time and energy and it must be hard on you - but I'm worried that you're thinking about your guy more than you are yourself tho?
You deserve a life too - do you have friends or interests of your own?
There's goos advice above too...maybe being around other people who've been through this might help, and give you a little something that's 'yours', into the bargain.
I hope you'll check out our Family and Friends forums and maybe even NarAnon
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
You can only help him to a point. The rest of his recovery is up to him. I would suggest you do something to help yourself. Don't burn yourself out worrying about him and your relationship. Take care of yourself. 
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