15 Days dry feeling fine but "boring"!!
 

Hi,

I've gone 15 days without a drink now and I'm doing OK. What I am struggling with though is I feel I'm withdrawing into myself and feeling dull and boring. I had a party I went to Friday night and was fine and danced (admittedly more with wooden legs than my normal "I can make any move I want"!) I'm also finding people irritate me easier. have other people experienced this and how long did the feeling go or what did you do???

Hi Travelgirldodds - welcome :)

I think most of us have that feeling - that like if boring without alcohol.
I'd drunk for so many years that the only way I knew to have fun was to be drunk.

But..I changed, and you can too.

My life now is a million times more fulfilling and exciting than my drinking life used to be.

I stopped trying to live my old drinking life as a non drinker and started looking for a life that better suited the sober me I was becoming.

Don't worry if you don't have any idea who sober you is yet...15 days is great but it's pretty much the beginning of the journey :)

Think about who you want to be and what you want to do...whats stopping you? :)

D

I think this is key. In fact, when I look back at my drinking life and take away the drinking, it was actually a very boring life. I just didn't realize it because I was drunk.

15 days is great! Give it some time. Things will get better.

Thank you guys and yes you are right!!

I have booked to go glazier walking in Iceland next month and also to go skiing so I have a lot to look forward to and all very wholesome. It is letting go of the old life which scares me because these are my friends. I have however been meeting them at lunchtimes instead in a coffee shop so thats working. I feel more for my partner because he has noticed the changes and think it is down to him which of course it isn't. We are only a few months into the relationship so still early days but he is the most supportive person ever :-)

So true for me as well. In retrospect, the drinking days had become very predictable....no matter where I was. At just over 4months of sobriety, I'm just beginning to see the possibilities.

The glacier walking sounds incredible!

I haven't learned how to have fun sober yet. There is no way I could ever dance without booze in me. In fact, I can't even laugh at a joke properly sober. I suppose its all part of the process of finding my true self without needing alcohol to come alive. We'll get there eventually if we stay sober! Iceland sounds awesome!

For me mentally this is the hardest thing to deal with and also the thing that will push me back. It's difficult too because when I do meet people (even family) there seems to be a lot of uncomfortable silences. Being someone that was always the excitable puppy dog looking for fun but now feeling more like I've had my nuts cut off and my spirit dampened!!! This mentality annoys me though because all alcohol ever did was poision our bodies and I know this is for the best.

Hopefully we will get there soon Wastinglife.....I can't wait to get my mojo back!!!

With some time in now, I can look back and 'see' that, during my drinking days, the drink in my hand was more important to me than the people I was with - how sad is that?; the poison was more important to me than another human being. I wasn't really listening to what someone had to say; I was too busy looking at the wine bottle - curious if there was 'enough' let in it for ME for the rest of the evening. How much good 'people time' did I waist - more than I like to think about.

You will grow into your sober-skin; keep expanding your sober horizons; it will soon fit you perfectly.

Your trips sound wonderful; have fun!!!!

Welcome TGD i agree with D

Nice to meet you

You are soooo right Soberleigh.....I have never really thought about it like that but that is exactly what it was like. Also with the more I drank the more I put myself over and still didn't consider the other persons thoughts and views. Going forward I shall look forward to seeing and listening to my friends and having quality time. I've found it interesting though that a couple of times I have been out I listen to the drinkers and actual question that apart from the drink what I actually have in common with these people. Drink is very good at masking true personalities and bring out the egos......

Yes. I am glad you have planned some trips. Those are always good.

That being said, can you find a daily hobby or something to do most days that will take your mind off being bored?

Taking a cooking class, building something, woodworking, repairs around the house, something to keep your hands and mind busy.

Living the life of a drinker - while sober - can indeed be both boring and irritating. That's because most of the things we equate with "fun", really aren't very fun...it's just the alcohol that makes them seem that way!

As a sober individual, I don't spend a lot of times at bars or parties anymore. When I first got sober, I was very frustrated because this lifestyle was all I knew. When got sober, and then sat down at a bar or went to a party and watched others drink and dance, it really was kind of boring. And really hard to deal with.

Take it slow, you won't feel enlightened right away. I think that maybe staying away from those kind of things for a while might be a good move, though.

It's a bit like getting to know yourself and to figure out what things you like to do. For me, I was happy to get back to activities I had abandoned in order to drink.

For me when I got Sober it was time to figure out what I was living for, what was quitting drinking alcohol for, new interests, new hobbies, new projects, life was there for the grabbing but I needed to go out and take it!!

It was massive learning curve, but it's there for all of us, something alcohol could never provide!! :)

Welcome to the forums Travelgirl!

welcome travelgirl!! and congrats on 15 days :D

Iceland sounds incredible! Imagine all the cool, amazing experiences you are going to have AND remember ;)

Welcome to the SR family. :) Fifteen days sober is a good start. I hope the support here can help you stay sober. :hug:

Hemingway said, "I drink to make other people more interesting." Of course, he committed suicide and was an alcoholic. Still, I get what he was saying. When drinking, I was dulled to the point where I found other drunks more interesting than they actually were.

Having been sober for several months now, I have set my sights higher. I expect and seek out better company than I had when I was drinking. It took some effort, but it has paid off. In addition to the 429 other benefits of sobriety that I have experienced, I am spending time with people that are more interesting than those I previously spent time with. Better yet, I now actually remember what was said the night before, and who said it.

You are on the right path, Travelgirl. Keep doing what you are doing.

Good luck. I am glad you are here with us. :ring

thanks everyone :-) This has been great. I was dwelling on what I had lost but not on what I was going to achieve.

I used to love Yoga so I have signed up for classes again and tonight I'm off to the cinema. You're all of course right....it's little steps - but I cant wait until I'm running :-) x

You raise a great issue. You are at the "fork in the road" that I still struggle with-being the only sober one at a party of drunk people. No it is't very fun after 10:30 to be sure. Sometimes I leave early, other times I just tell myself drinking will make 10:30 to 1:30 fun, then I will feel awful the whole next day. There is no doubt this is a tough issue. I miss the party scene to be sure, but I enjoy sobriety 100x more. Keep going as you won't believe how good you will feel booze free....