New person!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2
New person!
Greetings!
I'm new.
A few details...
I'm a geek. I have a productive working life, a child that I share with a [distant] partner, a home and an RV.
I drink nightly. Nobody but my ex-partner really knows, but I drink somewhere around 1/2 a fifth a night, after 6:00, and often after 8:00pm.
I wake daily feeling less than I would prefer, but still manage the day and return home to manage my responsibilities and resume my habit before I go to bed.
I occasionally abstain and suffer serious problems sleeping (inability to sleep as well as paranoia), and then return to my habit.
At this moment, I'm about 1/3 of a fifth into my night, and wanting to order a pizza.
I'm a highly functional guy with a professional career, but I have noticed my extremities are fighting back after perhaps 10 years of this (I can't control the mouse as well as I once did) and I am not as articulate as I once was (with a more rapid decline than I would expect from age).
Can anybody empathize with this?
I'm new.
A few details...
I'm a geek. I have a productive working life, a child that I share with a [distant] partner, a home and an RV.
I drink nightly. Nobody but my ex-partner really knows, but I drink somewhere around 1/2 a fifth a night, after 6:00, and often after 8:00pm.
I wake daily feeling less than I would prefer, but still manage the day and return home to manage my responsibilities and resume my habit before I go to bed.
I occasionally abstain and suffer serious problems sleeping (inability to sleep as well as paranoia), and then return to my habit.
At this moment, I'm about 1/3 of a fifth into my night, and wanting to order a pizza.
I'm a highly functional guy with a professional career, but I have noticed my extremities are fighting back after perhaps 10 years of this (I can't control the mouse as well as I once did) and I am not as articulate as I once was (with a more rapid decline than I would expect from age).
Can anybody empathize with this?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Hi MidnightWarrior. I joined yesterday and am 11 days without a drink.
I was in a similar position to you but I lost a position of seniority because of my drinking. Hope you can stop before that happens to you.
Good luck!
I was in a similar position to you but I lost a position of seniority because of my drinking. Hope you can stop before that happens to you.
Good luck!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Welcome. Im on day 38. Ive the im not that bad syndrome for a long time. Acceptance is key for me to move forward with my life sans the alcohol. Join us!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Oh yes, I can relate to every word. I drank every night too and had trouble sleeping when I didn't drink.
You're at the perfect time to stop. Before you get more serious physical dependence. Trust me when I say it only gets worse that half a fifth of vodka quickly can turn into three quarters of a fifth of vodka.
Once we drink every night for so long it's hard to picture an evening without drinking. I also drank nightly for about ten years so the habit was deeply ingrained. I didn't really know it was possible but we do relearn new behaviors although it takes a while.
I can tell you though it's worth it. I was just really tired of waking up feeling like crap every day.
You're at the perfect time to stop. Before you get more serious physical dependence. Trust me when I say it only gets worse that half a fifth of vodka quickly can turn into three quarters of a fifth of vodka.
Once we drink every night for so long it's hard to picture an evening without drinking. I also drank nightly for about ten years so the habit was deeply ingrained. I didn't really know it was possible but we do relearn new behaviors although it takes a while.
I can tell you though it's worth it. I was just really tired of waking up feeling like crap every day.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi and welcome midnightwarrior.
I can definitely relate - the first ten years of my heavy binge drinking were like that.
The next ten were not so good...the decline was swift, my mask skipped and I couldn't get it back into place...
I'm glad you're here - you'll find a lot of support. You're wise to look at this now
D
I can definitely relate - the first ten years of my heavy binge drinking were like that.
The next ten were not so good...the decline was swift, my mask skipped and I couldn't get it back into place...
I'm glad you're here - you'll find a lot of support. You're wise to look at this now
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 75
Professional job? Check. Functioning? I thought I was for a long time. Nobody knew the extent of my drinking and I went to great lengths to hide it. I thought that being an evening drinker meant I was okay, although "evening" became a rather fluid (no pun intended) definition.
The physical changes (shaking, sweating, and near constant nausea when I wasn't drunk) were my wake-up call. When I joined SR I couldn't imagine spending evenings sober. Now I'm into my fourth month and liken it to joining a gym. Nobody expects you to run 20 miles on your first day there, just keep showing up and you improve incrementally. It's worth the struggle because once you know how hard you fought for those first days or weeks it makes you determined not to lose it.
Best of luck, and good for you for reaching out.
The physical changes (shaking, sweating, and near constant nausea when I wasn't drunk) were my wake-up call. When I joined SR I couldn't imagine spending evenings sober. Now I'm into my fourth month and liken it to joining a gym. Nobody expects you to run 20 miles on your first day there, just keep showing up and you improve incrementally. It's worth the struggle because once you know how hard you fought for those first days or weeks it makes you determined not to lose it.
Best of luck, and good for you for reaching out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 46
Good for you!
Hi Well done for coming, I have just reached my 10 days without alcohol and worked out that during that time i would have easily drank at least 15 bottles of wine costing around £90/ $140 that;s enough money to join a gym for a few months and try to lose some of the weight that depresses me! But my liver is benefiting the most and maybe I might live longer and be able to enjoy future grandchildren. I decided to stop before I lost everything, there are some really sad stories on here. I am lucky I have a fab husband who deserves a medal for putting up with me and my drinking (he does not even drink!) and family who love me. I also hold done a great job but I was losing my memory and I knew I probably had bad breath and was so scared of being found out. I always have mints on me!! ha ha
But I made it to day 10! despite having a very 'challenging' weekend. In my normal drinking life I would have hit the wine big time but i found the strength to not reach for it and do you know what I am so very proud of myself! It sucks when people say you cant drink and when you have a bad or boring day it is just such a lovely habit to crash in front of the TV and drink. But is it not a good thing to do is it. I drank for over 10 years ever evening and weekend to get the buzz, but then I realised that I needed more and more to get the buzz. Then that resulted in foggy days and hangovers - wasting my life.
It was a big decision to stop and I hope I can keep going but boy am I pleased I made it. - its not going to be easy, withdrawal sucks and the rubbish sleeping and night sweats and horrid dreams have only recently gone away but this weekend I got nearly 20 hours sleep - and i mean lovely REM sleep! Yay I feel great this morning and full of energy.
You can do it too... give it 100% and deal with things one at a time.
But I made it to day 10! despite having a very 'challenging' weekend. In my normal drinking life I would have hit the wine big time but i found the strength to not reach for it and do you know what I am so very proud of myself! It sucks when people say you cant drink and when you have a bad or boring day it is just such a lovely habit to crash in front of the TV and drink. But is it not a good thing to do is it. I drank for over 10 years ever evening and weekend to get the buzz, but then I realised that I needed more and more to get the buzz. Then that resulted in foggy days and hangovers - wasting my life.
It was a big decision to stop and I hope I can keep going but boy am I pleased I made it. - its not going to be easy, withdrawal sucks and the rubbish sleeping and night sweats and horrid dreams have only recently gone away but this weekend I got nearly 20 hours sleep - and i mean lovely REM sleep! Yay I feel great this morning and full of energy.
You can do it too... give it 100% and deal with things one at a time.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Welcome!
I guess I would consider myself a functioning alcoholic too. I can relate to coming home from work (after working hard but feeling rough) and resuming the habit.
I hope you use this website, I've found everyone to be so supportive and cool!
I guess I would consider myself a functioning alcoholic too. I can relate to coming home from work (after working hard but feeling rough) and resuming the habit.
I hope you use this website, I've found everyone to be so supportive and cool!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Oh, yes I can relate.
I was highly functional for more years than I'd care to mention.
Then one day, I couldn't function.
Hangover turned to wicked withdrawal.
Simple tasks became near-impossible.
Close calls with the police.
Weight gain, sloppiness, laziness, wasting entire weekends in bed.
Lost years, wasted quality time, wasted dollars.
For what?
I was highly functional for more years than I'd care to mention.
Then one day, I couldn't function.
Hangover turned to wicked withdrawal.
Simple tasks became near-impossible.
Close calls with the police.
Weight gain, sloppiness, laziness, wasting entire weekends in bed.
Lost years, wasted quality time, wasted dollars.
For what?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Welcome. You've come to a great place.
Nightly drinking. Responsible family member and worker. Occasionally showing some physical signs. Yep, yep, and yep. Same here, but although there have been some toe stubs previously I'm almost at a week. Couldn't have done it without SR.
Nightly drinking. Responsible family member and worker. Occasionally showing some physical signs. Yep, yep, and yep. Same here, but although there have been some toe stubs previously I'm almost at a week. Couldn't have done it without SR.
a new start
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