Just realised how far I've come
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Just realised how far I've come
I'm feeling solid in my recovery...I'm 6 weeks or so sober after a short relapse over Christmas. Before that I'd had 2 and a half years sober time. I'm not counting days like I did last time, and I don't think I will be celebrating sober milestones this time round either. It occurred to me that I was clock watching a little too much the last time around. I felt intense pleasure at 90 days, 6 months, a year, 2 years...but when I relapsed I felt this awful feeling of how I'd thrown away all that sobriety. It made it harder to get back on the wagon. I felt I just couldn't go through all that again.
In reality, I hadn't lost that time, I had learned so many valuable lessons and made some great strides in my relationships, my spirituality, my mental health.
I sometimes look through the mental health forum and tonight it hit me just how far I've come in regards to that. I have had intense counselling and am on meds to help with PTSD, depression and a dissociative disorder.
But right now, on this Saturday night, not a few months since I was desperate and anxious after hitting the bottle again, I am so calm and happy. I sleep through the night, I no longer have flashbacks, I live each day in gratitude for what I have rather than living in the past.
Maybe I had to give drinking that last go before I finally realised that I can never ever go back there. I've worked too hard to get this peace of mind and I won't be endangering that again.
If you are on the back of, or in the middle of a relapse...never look at it as an end, this could be just the beginning. There is a better way, I'm proof of it.
Never give up x
In reality, I hadn't lost that time, I had learned so many valuable lessons and made some great strides in my relationships, my spirituality, my mental health.
I sometimes look through the mental health forum and tonight it hit me just how far I've come in regards to that. I have had intense counselling and am on meds to help with PTSD, depression and a dissociative disorder.
But right now, on this Saturday night, not a few months since I was desperate and anxious after hitting the bottle again, I am so calm and happy. I sleep through the night, I no longer have flashbacks, I live each day in gratitude for what I have rather than living in the past.
Maybe I had to give drinking that last go before I finally realised that I can never ever go back there. I've worked too hard to get this peace of mind and I won't be endangering that again.
If you are on the back of, or in the middle of a relapse...never look at it as an end, this could be just the beginning. There is a better way, I'm proof of it.
Never give up x
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Originally Posted by Novie 
Can not believe I feel like siting my wrist and let some tired blood out. I ask and them I have to post 9 times before anyone responds???
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