jryan19982

One of my long time friends came to town. Went to dinner- didnt drink. Went to a concert- didnt drink. Went to play darts- didnt drink. Then I drank. FML. 8 weeks gone, down the drain, down the tubes, drowned in bottles of stupid sauce. Now of course I am hung over and my kid is sick. FML. Seriously. I hate this. I want out.

doggonecarl

A tough lesson to learn. And what did you learn?

Dinner/Concert/Bar

Alcohol all around.

In early recovery, I had to accept that if I didn't want to get bit by lion, I didn't stick my head in its mouth. Nor be around alcohol when I wasn't ready.

jryan19982

Damnit I know. I know. I know. I just thought I could stay strong.

mns1

jryan the good news is you can get right back in the game. Analyze the circumstances surrounding you drinking. Where were you playing darts? Was it a bar? Is that something you used to do while drinking?

You can figure this out and we will help you.

SoberLeigh

You can make this a mere bump along a long, long fulfilling road of sobriety and recovery.

When we fall, there is only one healthy and viable option - pick ourselves up; examine what went wrong; shore up the holes in our plans; put safeguards in place to avoid the situations and mindsets that lead to the fall; and move forward with renewed determination and resolve.

Many people say that relapses start to happen long before we pick up that first drink. Were you actively working your plan in the days and weeks before the fall?

Do you have face to face support? You mentioned FML a couple of times; I don't use AA personally but many have said that working the AA Steps helps to identify and resolve the root causes of our addictions; have you considered AA?

It is important to shed negative thinking, focus on the positive and carry it with you into sobriety.

Eight weeks is great progress, jryan, and is certainly a foundation on which to build your future sobriety.

You can do this.

jryan19982

I am just uber pissed and hung over on top of that.

I was not posting here regularly or even reading regularly. I think that is what started the downfall. Then I am getting a promotion at work- so a little bit of stress but also celebration for that.

I have a dart board in my garage- so it wasnt the physical act of playing darts but probably around people drinking in conjunction with darts.

So uber pissed, super hang over, super head ache, super anxiety. Just sucks.

SoberLeigh

Yeah; it does. The good news is that you never have to feel this way again.

Alcohol and anxiety are friends; sometimes we drink to alleviate anxiety only to have the anxiety intensify and lead to more drinking. Do you have healthy outlets for your anxiety?

Congratulations on your promotion.

jryan19982

I do have healthy outlets for stress and anxiety but I was not practicing them for about a week before this stupid choice. It just goes to show you cant quit on any part of the your recovery. Its all progressive. And thats right I DONT HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN after I stop feeling like this- if that makes any sense. Im just ugh.

SoberLeigh

Makes perfect sense.

Yes, it's progressive, for sure. And, yes, quitting on any part of recovery is dangerous.

SR is a great tool; truly working it seems to be key. Read often; create threads; respond to posts. Get to know the members.

Are you part of a Class?

Here is a link to the post recent Class:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-new-post.html

If you had eight weeks, you may also want to look into Class of December 2014:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html

Anna

Jryan, I had to stay away from places where alcohol was available for many months, because like you, I would cave in at some point.

I'm glad you're back, and know for sure you can move on from this.

PurpleKnight

Hey JRyan, are you using any support? because that is what kept me focused on the goal, whether it's regular checking in on SR or something else.

Go at things again!! You'll get there!!

jryan19982

I was using this site quite frequently then gradually stopped. So that is at least one of my downfalls.

Im just so upset right now. Still major anxiety.

SoberLeigh

Have you ever tried guided meditation or meditative yoga for anxiety?

Anna

Jryan, it's natural to feel upset about drinking, but don't let it drive you back to drinking more. Take a breath, step back and work on moving on.

Soberwolf

Jryan its happened learn from this as D always says build sober muscles

No one goes into a gym and picks up the biggest weights they start by training same goes for sobriety it takes time

You can do this bud

jryan19982

Trust me with the hangover I have right now I have no desire to drink. I didnt even enjoy the experience last night all that much.

Dee74

you didn't lose anything, jryan. You still have those eight weeks and all you learned.
The only way we lose that stuff is by willfully throwing it away and, by coming back here, it's clear to me you won't do that

You've learned some stuff from last night too. Incorporate all that into version 2.0 of your plan.

Do. Not. Forget....but stop with the self flagellation too - use that energy to start on the new plan instead.

welcome back

D

jryan19982

Im starting to do a little better. Got out of the house (its like 65 today which is nuts) got some blood orange organic soda and some chicken and rice for dinner. Going to keep it simple and probably watch some True Detective and or Gold Rush. Just need to finish picking myself off the pavement and get my but back in gear. Maybe see if I can attend a meeting tomorrow... im just to hung over to do it today. Thanks for talking some sense into me.

Hevyn

I agree - the 8 weeks is not lost. You know you can get back to where you were - and you never have to go back to that miserable place again. You learned something - now you're more determined. You're going to do this, jryan.

jryan19982

Learned I cant play with fire to long before I get burned lol. And I was certainly playing with fire. I had a plan all week not to drink but I had a feeling I would. I should have come here to post and get some ideas on how to still hang out with my friend.