.....and back at the beginning again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: alberta
Posts: 24
.....and back at the beginning again.
I made it to nearly 10 months sober and loved every minute of it. The first couple of weeks were hard - but after that, I had no issues staying sober.
Then I was at a fancy gala - and I accepted a glass of wine. Then I had two. That was three months ago and now I'm getting drunk during the day again.
So - I'm ready to be happy and sober again so here I am. Here's to another day one!
Then I was at a fancy gala - and I accepted a glass of wine. Then I had two. That was three months ago and now I'm getting drunk during the day again.
So - I'm ready to be happy and sober again so here I am. Here's to another day one!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by worried6666 
Good question.....I hadn't thought about what I should do differently.
But obviously you do. I think one thing you might do differently is not be too cavalier around alcohol.
And you might want to make SR a part of your daily support. Just some ideas...
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I had several cycles of quitting for a while and then thinking I was "fine", and dropping out of whatever support I was using. Invariably that led back to me thinking it would be OK to drink "a few" now and then, etc.... In all cases it led back to everyday drinking, usually in a pretty short period of times.
What I had to do "differently" to make it stick was to fully accept my addiction for what it is. And I also had to fully accept that the ONLY possible long term solution was absolute sobriety, with no exceptions. Once I did that, I was able to move forward, rather than simply fighting the same battle day in and day out.
What I had to do "differently" to make it stick was to fully accept my addiction for what it is. And I also had to fully accept that the ONLY possible long term solution was absolute sobriety, with no exceptions. Once I did that, I was able to move forward, rather than simply fighting the same battle day in and day out.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Following an extended relapse, I knew that if alcohol were available at any given event, that I would absolutely try to drink without anyone knowing. So I intentionally kept myself away from such occasions for more than a year. The one exception was when I went to dinner with my brother and his wife, and it wasn't obvious that either of them would be drinking. We were instructed to wait at the bar until a table opened up. In my mind, I systematically went through every bottle of liquor behind the bar, and thought about drinking the ones I liked. It wasn't brutal, but it wasn't fun either.
After those approximately fourteen months, I was around alcohol a few times under relatively safe conditions -- people there, including friends and family, knew I wasn't drinking and they knew why -- and I had no problem with it.
But I never went anywhere (and still don't) where alcohol was featured unless I otherwise had a good reason for being there. A night out with friends is not a good enough reason for me. I've never had to avoid these situations in panic or to the apparent detriment of others, and this hasn't placed any limitations on my social life. Didn't matter. I own nothing at all that is more valuable to me than my life.
After those approximately fourteen months, I was around alcohol a few times under relatively safe conditions -- people there, including friends and family, knew I wasn't drinking and they knew why -- and I had no problem with it.
But I never went anywhere (and still don't) where alcohol was featured unless I otherwise had a good reason for being there. A night out with friends is not a good enough reason for me. I've never had to avoid these situations in panic or to the apparent detriment of others, and this hasn't placed any limitations on my social life. Didn't matter. I own nothing at all that is more valuable to me than my life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Worried!!
Probably best to reinforce the acceptance that you are now a "non drinker" is a good idea, non drinkers do go to occasions, but they order a water or a soda then drive home, once we start thinking things will be different this time, or I'm not really a "non drinker" then things can take a turn for the worst!!
You can do this!! Go at things again!!
Probably best to reinforce the acceptance that you are now a "non drinker" is a good idea, non drinkers do go to occasions, but they order a water or a soda then drive home, once we start thinking things will be different this time, or I'm not really a "non drinker" then things can take a turn for the worst!!
You can do this!! Go at things again!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Originally Posted by worried6666
I need to always be on my game.....I know that going forward. And I need to keep up with my support - even when things are going well!
I'm very selective about what social event I choose to attend. Unfortunately I need to go out to places where others drink around me, or be around alcohol with a certain regularity due to work-related stuff. I try to skip as many of these as possible, but can't always say no to such events.
A recent story that fits here. One reason out of the few why I broke off a still quite new relationship just last week was also related to our having different preferences for social life, which was not apparent for a while in the beginning. He has a large social circle, and while he's not a big drinker by any means, many of his friends and colleagues drink a lot, do drugs, etc. Artists in NYC, lots of "fancy" parties. And I learned with time that he would want to have a gf who would participate with him in more of these events than I was willing. I don't like large parties to start with, and was definitely uncomfortable in that environment a few times. I also did not like that he would probably enjoy a few drinks with his partner sometimes, and I was never available for that. I don't usually have problems or temptations at the work-related events, but this private lifestyle is just not for me and it's not even attractive. Why to put myself and him through discomfort/limitations?
I think it's important in sobriety to choose our activities wisely and to keep taking care of ourselves.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
You're not right back at the beginning, worried, you'll have learnt many things during your months of sobriety and they are all still with you. And now you know just how easy it is to fall back into addiction. Use that knowledge (and pain) to boost your motivation and recommit - you can do this! 
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