Relationships in early recovery
 

Are a bad idea right? I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months and I'm not sure I'm strong enough to continue. My default in the past would be to drink when stuff got tough and I can't afford for that to happen now.

It all depends on how committed you are.If you never drink again who knows how far this relationship could go?Good luck!

I could not have done it, Lizella.

D

Make Sobriety your priority Lizella, don't compromise on that for anything or anyone!!

You can slow it down at any time.

Does this person know you're in early sobriety?

Yeah he knows and he's very supportive. But I'm just learning how to deal with emotions sober and should probably do that alone first.

Well, it's always your choice. If he's a good guy and he's understanding of your sobriety and the emotional ups and downs, why not keep seeing him? You don't have to think 30 years ahead, just today.

I understand the emotional roller coaster, I really do. Is he making comments about it that are bothering you? Or is there something else about him that is making you uncomfortable?

Hi Lizella,

Ditto what Bimini said. I would have found it hard to do but everyone is different. Keep your sobriety first and foremost and the rest will follow.

If you feel this way, I would say follow your instinct rather than taking a risk. Otherwise, my opinion is that it depends on many factors: yourself and your general condition/mental health, same for the other person, and just what your goals are in sobriety. If you have a lot of things in your life that need attention and fixing, or that you want to work on with a lot of energy, I would not recommend a new relationship for a while, prioritize the most important issues. I also would not recommend a relationship with someone who has personal / emotional issues that could cause stress for you.

What I usually suggest to people here: why not just be friends for a while if you have doubts? You don't need to put a name on it. Get to know each-other, do things together etc without anything serious, see how you feel. If he is really supportive and understanding, he may not want to rush it for you.

Go with your "sober" gut instincts.

Keep your sobriety first.

you know yourself best liz.
If you're feeling stressed/pressured - whatever it is you're feeling...maybe take a few steps back.

I personally try to keep life simple when I'm in early recovery. Anyway, if this guy is supportive and doesn't have any problem with alcohol.. I don't see the problem.

Obviously.. if you see that the relation is making you pull towards the drinking, then you should prioritize sobriety.

Have a good day.

I got sober completly on my own made my sobriety stronger didnt have to worry about anything but my sobriety & bills cooking cleaning etc

In a recovery outpatient program I was in, they said no relationship changes for 1 year. But love really is not logical so take that with a grain of salt (no tequila).

Thank you for all of responses. Definitely given me stuff to think about.