Haunted by regrets?
waking down
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Haunted by regrets?
Then you should check this out: Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret | Talk Video | TED.com
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
It has never dawned on me to laugh at my excruciatingly painful regrets. I laugh at everything, but I don't know if I cam gen up enough imagination for that. I just have to keep chanting the mantra "These things have formed me into the person I am today."
waking down
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
What I liked about the talk was that it gave me permission to be mindful of the regrets, to feel them, and to accept them rather than fight them off. "No regrets" really isn't a good motto to hammer into people. Regret and then move on...
waking down
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Don't get me started. My mom regret is mixed with guilt and complicated grief. Short story is she was drunk, I abandoned her, and she died. Could I have done anything? Probably not. Did I need to protect myself? Probably. Do I still feel bad? Hell yes. And she passed 20 years ago. I don't know if we ever really shed the weight or just learn to live with it. I do the mindfulness thing. The memory comes up. I say there it is again. I observe it. Feel it. Remind myself to be compassionate to myself. Let it pass. Keep breathing. Move onto the next thought.
I have lots of regrets just like we all do. Almost all of them happened because of drinking, blackouts, hangovers.
One of the main reasons I don't drink anymore is so I don't have to make any new regrets. Sober regrets will happen but they will happen with a rational mind and will probably go down in frequency by about 95%.
One of the main reasons I don't drink anymore is so I don't have to make any new regrets. Sober regrets will happen but they will happen with a rational mind and will probably go down in frequency by about 95%.
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