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Haunted by regrets?

Old 02-04-2015, 01:22 PM
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waking down
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Haunted by regrets?

Then you should check this out: Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret | Talk Video | TED.com
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Old 02-04-2015, 01:24 PM
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Do your best
 
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Thank you Zero
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Old 02-04-2015, 01:26 PM
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Thanks, zero!!!!
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:00 PM
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Thank you Zero, this is just what I needed to see today!
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:16 PM
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Nice post!!
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:40 PM
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This is good. I can't wait to listen to the whole thing.
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Old 02-04-2015, 05:29 PM
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I love ted talks and I'm haunted by regrets. I'm going to watch this as soon as I get home.
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Old 02-04-2015, 05:47 PM
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This was great!
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Old 02-04-2015, 06:04 PM
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I agree , good one!
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Old 02-04-2015, 06:14 PM
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Thanks for sharing that!!
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Old 02-04-2015, 06:27 PM
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Thanks, Zero. This helped me
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Old 02-04-2015, 07:08 PM
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This is fantastic. ..very profound and moving. It was very helpful for me - thank you!
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Old 02-04-2015, 07:10 PM
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Helped me, too. Cried like a baby.
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Old 02-05-2015, 06:59 AM
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It has never dawned on me to laugh at my excruciatingly painful regrets. I laugh at everything, but I don't know if I cam gen up enough imagination for that. I just have to keep chanting the mantra "These things have formed me into the person I am today."
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Old 02-05-2015, 07:26 AM
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That was just amazing! Thank You!
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Gilmer View Post
It has never dawned on me to laugh at my excruciatingly painful regrets. I laugh at everything, but I don't know if I cam gen up enough imagination for that. I just have to keep chanting the mantra "These things have formed me into the person I am today."
I think this applies differently at different stages of psycho-social development. I'm at that stage where I'm transitioning from middle age into feeling suddenly frail, which brings on a lot of reflections about major life choices. The mistakes I made in my youth are easy to forgive, except the ones that had lasting consequences. Education and career path has become a tough one for me. Combining sports and intoxicants have also taken its toll on my body. "These things have formed me into the person I am today." I like that thought when I'm feeling okay, but when I'm a mess it doesn't help so much. Keeping a sense of humor doesn't always come easy.

What I liked about the talk was that it gave me permission to be mindful of the regrets, to feel them, and to accept them rather than fight them off. "No regrets" really isn't a good motto to hammer into people. Regret and then move on...
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:10 AM
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Well said, Zero. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insight.
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Old 02-05-2015, 08:10 AM
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I have to live with a rather heavy weight of a regret that involves my mother's death, so this has helped me a bit.
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:02 PM
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Don't get me started. My mom regret is mixed with guilt and complicated grief. Short story is she was drunk, I abandoned her, and she died. Could I have done anything? Probably not. Did I need to protect myself? Probably. Do I still feel bad? Hell yes. And she passed 20 years ago. I don't know if we ever really shed the weight or just learn to live with it. I do the mindfulness thing. The memory comes up. I say there it is again. I observe it. Feel it. Remind myself to be compassionate to myself. Let it pass. Keep breathing. Move onto the next thought.
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Old 02-05-2015, 09:16 PM
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I have lots of regrets just like we all do. Almost all of them happened because of drinking, blackouts, hangovers.

One of the main reasons I don't drink anymore is so I don't have to make any new regrets. Sober regrets will happen but they will happen with a rational mind and will probably go down in frequency by about 95%.
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