What would you do?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 88
What would you do?
Hi All....Haven't been around in a while, but I occasionally sneak in to see how everyone's doing. After years and years of trying to quit, I'm doing really well. Been sober for 8 months. Feeling great. No desire to drink most days, sometimes have a craving but nothing I can't deal with. Except for this situation....and I'm curious to hear what others would do.
As I mentioned, I have not really had any strong cravings in the past 8 months that I couldn't get past. During the first couple months, maybe stronger. But not lately. New years eve, that was kind of hard. But not terrible. So, superbowl sunday....I had a beer. Just one, and I didn't have the urge to have any more. I didn't really like it, it made my stomach hurt a bit, and I was disappointed that I even went there. But, I have no, zero, zilch desire to do it again.
I've been going to celebrate recovery meetings at my church every week, and am currently doing a step study. I've been receiving chips for every milestone - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months....I look forward to those milestones A LOT. and I think it's one of the big things that keeps me on track.
If you were me, would you go back to day 1? I didn't get drunk, not even buzzed from the one beer. So I have in fact been sober for 8 months. But am I being dishonest if I collect the next chip at 9 months?
As I mentioned, I have not really had any strong cravings in the past 8 months that I couldn't get past. During the first couple months, maybe stronger. But not lately. New years eve, that was kind of hard. But not terrible. So, superbowl sunday....I had a beer. Just one, and I didn't have the urge to have any more. I didn't really like it, it made my stomach hurt a bit, and I was disappointed that I even went there. But, I have no, zero, zilch desire to do it again.
I've been going to celebrate recovery meetings at my church every week, and am currently doing a step study. I've been receiving chips for every milestone - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months....I look forward to those milestones A LOT. and I think it's one of the big things that keeps me on track.
If you were me, would you go back to day 1? I didn't get drunk, not even buzzed from the one beer. So I have in fact been sober for 8 months. But am I being dishonest if I collect the next chip at 9 months?
Sobriety is Traditional
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Location: Orcas Island, Washington
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 88
Thanks....and I don't disagree with that post. Just trying to decide how important the counting days thing is to my recovery. Will I be too discouraged to go back to day 1? I don't know....is it better for me to stay the course, feeling that I'm getting stronger in my resolve as the days go by? I don't know. I know I can't ever drink again and I want to beat my head against the wall for drinking that beer. But it's done and now I have to figure out what's going to work for moving forward. Successfully.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
What was the reason for accepting the 1 beer? I guess that's an area to work on moving forward, is there something that you can change and learn from last Sunday?
The important thing is you're Sober today, the past is in the past, for me I do on occasion look at the numbers, but I don't go to AA so don't have any chips to show for the milestones, others can advise on the honesty side of things!!
Sobriety since that day is the important thing!!
The important thing is you're Sober today, the past is in the past, for me I do on occasion look at the numbers, but I don't go to AA so don't have any chips to show for the milestones, others can advise on the honesty side of things!!
Sobriety since that day is the important thing!!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by landminesgirl 
If you were me, would you go back to day 1? I didn't get drunk, not even buzzed from the one beer. So I have in fact been sober for 8 months. But am I being dishonest if I collect the next chip at 9 months?
What are you afraid of, explaining to your group why you aren't picking it up. Or do you really see this beer as not disrupting your sobriety?
What would have set your counter back to one? Two beers? Ten? Blacking out? A week long binge? We use words to excuse our acts: just a blip, just a slip, a bump in the road.
Like Purpleknight said, you drank. Work on that, not your addition skills.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I don't go to CR and I don't know much about them except that they are step and Christian based. Here is my take:
You drank and broke your abstinence. Whether you got drunk or not is quite irrelevant.
Yes you could claim your chip and not tell them anything and they would be none the wiser.
Aside from it being a lie by omission (and I d bet that being a Christian program they don't really approve of lying) the most important thing is that you picked up so something went awry with your program.
Maybe you are not convinced you are truly an alcoholic >first step<?
Being able that one time to have only one and pulling one over the CR folks will really feed your AV and how long will it be before it tells you that you got away with it once and can get away with it again.
Also, how can they help you figure out what went wrong and what to work on if you don't tell them?
To collect another token and to get a round of applause you would chose not to reach out for help and shut the door to those who can truly assist you.
Don't they say a thing or two in the scriptures about pride?
You drank and broke your abstinence. Whether you got drunk or not is quite irrelevant.
Yes you could claim your chip and not tell them anything and they would be none the wiser.
Aside from it being a lie by omission (and I d bet that being a Christian program they don't really approve of lying) the most important thing is that you picked up so something went awry with your program.
Maybe you are not convinced you are truly an alcoholic >first step<?
Being able that one time to have only one and pulling one over the CR folks will really feed your AV and how long will it be before it tells you that you got away with it once and can get away with it again.
Also, how can they help you figure out what went wrong and what to work on if you don't tell them?
To collect another token and to get a round of applause you would chose not to reach out for help and shut the door to those who can truly assist you.
Don't they say a thing or two in the scriptures about pride?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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I agree with PK. I would focus on why you drank that one drink and figure out what needs to happen in order not to repeat that again.
As for counting sobriety days... we are all a bit different in that respect, but I would adhere to the program you have chosen to use, and use their method, and do it honestly.
As for counting sobriety days... we are all a bit different in that respect, but I would adhere to the program you have chosen to use, and use their method, and do it honestly.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Trying to rationalize that one beer is going to do you more harm than the beer itself did.
The fact is, you drank, no matter what kind of spin you put on it. Alcoholism THRIVES on rationalization and dishonesty. And if you claim 9 months when you've been sober for 1, that will play at the back of your mind and mess you up far more than if you just admit it and pick up your 9 month chip when you haven't had a drink in 9 months.
The fact is, you drank, no matter what kind of spin you put on it. Alcoholism THRIVES on rationalization and dishonesty. And if you claim 9 months when you've been sober for 1, that will play at the back of your mind and mess you up far more than if you just admit it and pick up your 9 month chip when you haven't had a drink in 9 months.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Soon after starting AA I was embarrassed to return and admit I had one day. I must have been quite defensive when I spoke in that first return meeting because immediately afterward a person (I did not know) looked at me and said rather sternly “It’s not a program of seniority”. At the time I was taken back by the comment, but then slowly I came to understand how very strangely supportive it was. With time, I have come to regard it as one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. BTW I have never seen that person since.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
I think you will sleep better at night if you admit you had a beer in your support group and collect a 24 hour chip instead of a 9 month chip. I know that totally sucks but you will have a much easier time looking in the mirror.
It's our secrets that kill us. You should be proud of yourself for many reasons:
1. You came here and admitted you drank
2. You have a conscious
3. You stayed sober for a LONG time so you know you can do it!
4. You're honest
5. You have the willingness to change your life and the list goes on and on.
I think (in your heart) you know what to do...it just sucks! It's just a number though and it's not like we ever graduate. Haha
Heck..I drank again after 5 years, 6 months and 2 days. Now I'm at day 2 again. It sucks but I've learned a lot with my fall.
Hang in there. Please don't beat yourself up and say "what the heck! If I have to start over, I may as well enjoy it! I'm gonna get drunk!" I hope you just look at this as a teeny tiny little crack in the road.
Onward! Keep us posted. To thine own self be true! :-)
It's our secrets that kill us. You should be proud of yourself for many reasons:
1. You came here and admitted you drank
2. You have a conscious
3. You stayed sober for a LONG time so you know you can do it!
4. You're honest
5. You have the willingness to change your life and the list goes on and on.
I think (in your heart) you know what to do...it just sucks! It's just a number though and it's not like we ever graduate. Haha
Heck..I drank again after 5 years, 6 months and 2 days. Now I'm at day 2 again. It sucks but I've learned a lot with my fall.
Hang in there. Please don't beat yourself up and say "what the heck! If I have to start over, I may as well enjoy it! I'm gonna get drunk!" I hope you just look at this as a teeny tiny little crack in the road.
Onward! Keep us posted. To thine own self be true! :-)
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
You know, when I first read this I thought hmm maybe id just continue on, it's only one drink...
Then I read these responses and completely changed my mind, you're all so right, youd only be cheating yourself and alcoholism really loves dishonesty, so grateful all these wise people are here to correct our faulty thinking! Hope you had te same reaction as I did and decide to be honest. Best of luck.
Then I read these responses and completely changed my mind, you're all so right, youd only be cheating yourself and alcoholism really loves dishonesty, so grateful all these wise people are here to correct our faulty thinking! Hope you had te same reaction as I did and decide to be honest. Best of luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by LexieCat
Trying to rationalize that one beer is going to do you more harm than the beer itself did.
Long story short, honesty is always better in the long run. It feels better although it's not always easier.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by immri
You know, when I first read this I thought hmm maybe id just continue on, it's only one drink...
Then I read these responses and completely changed my mind, you're all so right, youd only be cheating yourself and alcoholism really loves dishonesty, so grateful all these wise people are here to correct our faulty thinking! Hope you had te same reaction as I did and decide to be honest. Best of luck.
Then I read these responses and completely changed my mind, you're all so right, youd only be cheating yourself and alcoholism really loves dishonesty, so grateful all these wise people are here to correct our faulty thinking! Hope you had te same reaction as I did and decide to be honest. Best of luck.
((hugs))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 88
You know, I was pretty sure I knew what was going to do before I even read all the responses. Took me a while to check back in, had family in town and some very busy days. But I was wrong. You all are right, lying about it, whether overtly or by omission, is only going to hurt me. Truthfully, I really took pride (sin) in being able to say I was 8 months without a drink after a 20 year binge. I don't know why I took that beer, I wish I hadn't. Starting over sucks, but only if I'm putting too much emphasis on days. Who cares, right? I'm sober today. Thanks y'all. ❤️
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
I don't go to aa so don't really know how it works and initially reading your post I though no...1 beer...after probably what you used to drink and everything you've gone thro since. Continue because it was a tiny blip but then I thought about it a bit differently.
When I gave up smoking a few years ago I thought I'd be ok with one cigarette...and still classed myself as a non smoker. Then I had another...then another...
One of the huge things keeping me going, which may sound silly but sort of like your chips is I have a bracelet and I add a charm for each milestone.
Personally if I had one beer and continued with my initial date and collecting my charms I know soon I'd think, well one is ok...maybe 2 beers are ok (for me wine). Then it would be ok I'm still sober but surely another couple are ok...
I KNOW if I had one glass (tho well done sticking to one) and I had to go back to the beginning I'd be so disappointed that I'd think of that every time I considered a drink so... (Sorry I always seem to write an essay lol) what I'm trying to say is if you collect your chip and act like it hasn't happened there's no consequences...your not learning from it as such... If you go back to day one it'll maybe make you more conscious again of how easy it is to slip and more determined not to do so again!!
Don't be too ashamed of yourself because sticking to just one was amazing in my opinion but be ashamed enough to stop yourself thinking it's ok if that makes sense xx
When I gave up smoking a few years ago I thought I'd be ok with one cigarette...and still classed myself as a non smoker. Then I had another...then another...
One of the huge things keeping me going, which may sound silly but sort of like your chips is I have a bracelet and I add a charm for each milestone.
Personally if I had one beer and continued with my initial date and collecting my charms I know soon I'd think, well one is ok...maybe 2 beers are ok (for me wine). Then it would be ok I'm still sober but surely another couple are ok...
I KNOW if I had one glass (tho well done sticking to one) and I had to go back to the beginning I'd be so disappointed that I'd think of that every time I considered a drink so... (Sorry I always seem to write an essay lol) what I'm trying to say is if you collect your chip and act like it hasn't happened there's no consequences...your not learning from it as such... If you go back to day one it'll maybe make you more conscious again of how easy it is to slip and more determined not to do so again!!
Don't be too ashamed of yourself because sticking to just one was amazing in my opinion but be ashamed enough to stop yourself thinking it's ok if that makes sense xx
New Life Sober
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
I am all new at all this, but if you claim that you been sober for 9 months and had a beer recently and still claim you been sober for 9 months...Are you honest to yourself?
I would have to start over again, cause if I only drink one beer and didn't like it, how would you know if the next time you do it wouldn't be 2 or more beers next time.
Just saying!!!
I would have to start over again, cause if I only drink one beer and didn't like it, how would you know if the next time you do it wouldn't be 2 or more beers next time.
Just saying!!!
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