leighuk1984

Im on day 23 today and feeling very agitated haven't been to a meeting since Sunday and wanted to go tonight but no one is free to look after my little boy. so im now sitting here anxious. I have people to call but they are all going through their own personal problems right now without me adding to them. I'm not going to lie i so badly want a drink right now and don't feel comfortable within myself at all i started counselling today and thought that would of helped me a bit but all it has done is drag up old memories. I cant let go of this one thought in my head at the moment and that thought is "im 30 years old and i can never drink again" I feel so angry that my friends have a normal life they have there relationships and there own social circle of friends and what do i have at the moment apart from my health a big fat nothing but that is due to my best friend alcohol! I really would like this to hurry up and get easier but its not and i just so want to scream right now WHY ME! Trying to look for an online meeting but cant find one and sorry for rambling on but tonight is driving me nuts.

least

Hang in there! Cravings go away. Do something to distract yourself. Can you play with your little boy for a while? This too shall pass.

SoberLeigh

Urges and cravings pass, with time. Google 'breathing techniques'; take some time to practice them.

Here is a great link for with understanding and dealing urges:

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...85142067,d.cWc

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

leighuk1984

hi my son is in bed ive been trying to eat to subside the cravings but its not working tonight and eating is making me get bigger in weight to im so frustrated just wish i could of gone to a meeting tonight

SoberLeigh

Maybe Try taking a warm, soothing bath, too.

Also maybe try a Google search for 'guided mediation'; choose one that looks interesting and spend some time with it.

23 days is great, leigh. Hopefully you can get to a meeting tomorrow.

newhope01

Hello leighuk1984,

I am also 30 years old and can't drink either. I knew I couldn't drink though when I was a lot younger in my early twenties, but I did anyway rationalizing how it will eventually be okay. I don't think age has much to do with our drinking.. I think at any time someone can suffer from substance abuse and decide to take care of it or not.

Sounds like you are doing the best to take care of yourself and your little boy which takes a lot of strength and determination. I applaud you coming here to talk it out with us instead of throwing everything away over alcohol.

Try not to be too hard on yourself and focus on all the wonderful things you have accomplished so far in your sobriety and be grateful for all the wonderful things you have, like your family.

Take Care and keep checking in with us.

SoberLeigh

^^^^ This, too.

PurpleKnight

I've recently just turned 32, we can't change who we are, we just have to live with it!!

I look at it like a nut allergy, if our Dr told us that we could never eat nuts again, would we be enraged at the world and jealous of everyone, and maybe even go out and buy a packet of nuts to try and make it work, or would we heed our Dr and not touch nuts ever again, even restaurants accommodate nut allergies these days, it's now a pretty normal thing . . . so why should an allergy to alcohol be any different?

Hang in there!! It does get better!!

Soberwolf

Hi Leigh some great advice heres a video on urge surfing http://youtu.be/__0dNKJV0zo

Hang in there you can write your feelings in a journal it helped me to get it off my chest

Were supporting you 5000%

Anna

You can continue to check in here and read and post. And, SoberLeigh's suggestion of guided meditation is a good one. It's not always easy, but it does help.

maggpie666999

Yeah, I agree with SoberWolf, you gotta find something else to do. Like chew gum, drink water (or cola or something). I like having coffee myself, but to each their own. I am sorry about your circumstances. Everyone is away from me too, I know what it is like, (almost every day) not to have any social support. But, God Bless you and hope you feel better. This too shall pass.
Regards,
Maggpie

Serenidad

Soooo sorry you are having a craving! They suck!!! I hate them!!!

Did you know you can take your son to the AA meeting? I used to take my kids and only once did some witch have a problem with it and I got in her face and said "look lady...I am either staying in this meeting or going to get a drink so you'll just have to deal with it!" She never said anything again! And she didn't have kids so she didn't get it. Anyway...why don't you take your little boy? I promise you will feel better after you go!

Another thought....maybe try to postpone counseling for a while until you are more stable in sobriety? I waited until I had 2 years of sobriety the first time around because I knew it would trigger me to bring up old/bad memories. I didn't want to relapse so I just threw myself into AA & only focused on that for a while. Just my experience.

Lastly, you said you don't have ANYTHING in your life but you DO! You have a son and that's a miracle. Many people can't have children. I'm sure you love him very much but tell your AV to shut up when it tells you that you don't have anything! Lies! Lies! Lies!

I promise...your 30 year old friends aren't having as much fun drinking as you think they are! Were you having fun drinking? Probably not....because you are trying to quit, right? Try to think thru the details of your last drink/drunk.

Lastly....just try not to drink TODAY...not forever. Forever is too overwhelming. You can do this!!!

newhope01

How we doing leighuk1984?

immri

I was going to say what Serenidad did, almost half the meetings I've been to there's been a child either in the meeting or playing in an adjoining room, I think that's fine
I hope you got through it

Dee74

how are you doing leighuk?

D

Ruby2

I've brought my two kids to meetings and had them play in adjoining rooms. Maybe call or email the London general service office to ask if there any meetings with babysitting. I know its hard to get to meetings with small children. I also know I feel better going to a meeting. Can you plan in advance in future to have someone watch him? I have a girl come on Sunday mornings so I can go to an 8:00 a.m. meeting. Or next time you go ask one of the women if they know any teens who would watch your child. You have a lot going for you. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. At thirty I was just embarking on another 19 years of drinking. Talk about wasting my prime years.

Soberwolf

Hope your feeling better Leigh

MelindaFlowers

Get your keys and go to the nearest grocery store right away. Buy about 8 candy bars, your favorite kinds, or a pie, ice cream, or all three. I can almost guarantee that after a nice "pig out" you're craving will practically disappear.

Don't worry about the money or calories. They are a tiny fraction of what you've not spent or consumed since you stopped drinking!

doggonecarl

That's the mindset of early recovery. Resentment. I'm 59. I could drink tonight. But I won't. No resentment. Just freedom from alcohol.

You can choose to feel deprived, or choose to embrace sobriety. The latter is a whole lot more enjoyable.

Ghostrider1971

You are not alone. Keep that in mind. I feel the same way sometimes and am still struggling, especially when my day has been really crappy. Take a deep breath and know you are supported by me and others like us.