At what point do you give up?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
At what point do you give up?
Hi all....Still struggling. Read Rational Recovery....doesn't work for me. If it was THAT easy to say "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind!" would ANY of us have a drinking problem??? Who knows...maybe it works for some people...just not THIS girl! :-(
I DO like what I learned about the Addictive Voice (AV or AVRT), but seriously??? I wish it was THAT easy for ME to quit!
Soooo....I feel I have 2 choices:
1. Keep drinking and end dead
2. Go back to AA like I did when I had 5.5 years of sobriety
I don't want to die so I guess I am gonna throw myself back into AA!
*Biggest problem: the cravings are SO STRONG and hard to overcome this time around....I'm truly exhausted! Giving up sounds like a good option sometimes.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'm just really still struggling. :-( :-( :-(
I DO like what I learned about the Addictive Voice (AV or AVRT), but seriously??? I wish it was THAT easy for ME to quit!
Soooo....I feel I have 2 choices:
1. Keep drinking and end dead
2. Go back to AA like I did when I had 5.5 years of sobriety
I don't want to die so I guess I am gonna throw myself back into AA!
*Biggest problem: the cravings are SO STRONG and hard to overcome this time around....I'm truly exhausted! Giving up sounds like a good option sometimes.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'm just really still struggling. :-( :-( :-(
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
At what point do you give up? Never. Seriously.
I tried for 15 years to stop drinking - eventually I got there...I had to do a lot more than I was originally prepared to do... but I got there
Serenidad I'm not having a go here, but have you ever thought of not giving into the cravings?
Yes, there are hard, but they pass - and every time they pass. and you don't drink you'll get a little stronger.
Have you got a strategy for dealing with cravings at all?
D
I tried for 15 years to stop drinking - eventually I got there...I had to do a lot more than I was originally prepared to do... but I got there
*Biggest problem: the cravings are SO STRONG and hard to overcome this time around....I'm truly exhausted! Giving up sounds like a good option sometimes.
Yes, there are hard, but they pass - and every time they pass. and you don't drink you'll get a little stronger.
Have you got a strategy for dealing with cravings at all?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-02-2015 at 03:34 PM.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Serenidad, you must not give up because this disease is relentless and it will take everything from you. Yes, it's much harder for you this time. We do get worn down when we try and fail. I know you can do this, and please know you can contact me anytime at all if you want to talk. I'm always around.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Cravings don't have to become actions. You choose to act upon them. Refuse them. Do something else. Call a friend. Watch a movie. Take a walk. Anything to break the routine.
Stopping drinking isn't easy but it is simple: don't give in to the cravings. Each time you refuse to act on them you will get stronger. I felt like giving up many times but was encouraged to stay the course. Now, five sober years later, I'm glad I didn't give up.
I had to distract myself in early recovery but now it's just commonplace to stay sober, to not give in to an impulse.
If AA worked for you before, go back and do it again.
Stopping drinking isn't easy but it is simple: don't give in to the cravings. Each time you refuse to act on them you will get stronger. I felt like giving up many times but was encouraged to stay the course. Now, five sober years later, I'm glad I didn't give up.
I had to distract myself in early recovery but now it's just commonplace to stay sober, to not give in to an impulse.
If AA worked for you before, go back and do it again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
As Churchill said, "Never Surrender!" if "Surrender" means give up. But it can also mean Step 1 of AA. AA's not perfect, but it works for many. Remember, dying from Alcoholism can be very painful, very unpleasant. And living with sobriety can be more happiness than you could imagine. So which is it. Misery? or Happiness? You can do this. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Hello Serenidad,
I understand how difficult cravings can be sometimes. I have come to SR in tears trying to fight a craving. It was the most scary experience for me ever as I never wanted to drink with such intensity while at the same time having a strong desire to remain sober.
It was awful.. but I pushed through with the help of other SR members and I will never forget how good I felt the next day. The best part that intense little mental breakdown I had was a brief moment in my life.. perhaps 30 minutes-45 minutes and then it passed.
That was best part, it passed. You have to believe that these cravings are going to become more manageable but only if you are able to fight and resist them. If I can do it, you can totally do it. As they say, this too shall pass.
I understand how difficult cravings can be sometimes. I have come to SR in tears trying to fight a craving. It was the most scary experience for me ever as I never wanted to drink with such intensity while at the same time having a strong desire to remain sober.
It was awful.. but I pushed through with the help of other SR members and I will never forget how good I felt the next day. The best part that intense little mental breakdown I had was a brief moment in my life.. perhaps 30 minutes-45 minutes and then it passed.
That was best part, it passed. You have to believe that these cravings are going to become more manageable but only if you are able to fight and resist them. If I can do it, you can totally do it. As they say, this too shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Serenidad - don't ever give up; never. No matter what happens, keep coming to SR every single day. Last year I relapsed after 70 days, and even for those months that I was drinking again I came to SR to read posts. Coming here kept the idea of sobriety alive in my head, and it was one of the reasons I decided to go sober again.
If AA works for you, give it another try.
Cravings can be so intense; I know all about that. I don't know what your triggers are, but here are two things I did in the early days when the cravings were so strong I thought there was no way I could endure them:
1. If you know a trigger is coming up, come onto SR and post about it. Talk about what's going on and what's going to happen, and then make a promise that you'll check in after x amount of time. My strongest cravings were when I'd walk home from work and would usually stop and buy vodka. I've posted here before that I was walking home and would check in when I got home - the power of SR helped me get through those walks.
2. Sometimes even posting here it was almost impossible to endure the cravings. I would change my walking route home and when it got overwhelming I would look straight down and watch my feet on the sidewalk and count steps quietly out loud to myself: 1...2...3...4...5, etc. It was a way to just have a high-beam focus on anything but the craving raging in the background.
Remember that cravings don't last forever. Mine were around 5 to 15 minutes. The more you get through them, the more they start to fade. I still occasionally get cravings, but they are nothing like they were in the early day and by now they are just more annoying than anything because my AV already knows it's lost because I'm not going to give in.
Best wishes to you.
If AA works for you, give it another try.
Cravings can be so intense; I know all about that. I don't know what your triggers are, but here are two things I did in the early days when the cravings were so strong I thought there was no way I could endure them:
1. If you know a trigger is coming up, come onto SR and post about it. Talk about what's going on and what's going to happen, and then make a promise that you'll check in after x amount of time. My strongest cravings were when I'd walk home from work and would usually stop and buy vodka. I've posted here before that I was walking home and would check in when I got home - the power of SR helped me get through those walks.
2. Sometimes even posting here it was almost impossible to endure the cravings. I would change my walking route home and when it got overwhelming I would look straight down and watch my feet on the sidewalk and count steps quietly out loud to myself: 1...2...3...4...5, etc. It was a way to just have a high-beam focus on anything but the craving raging in the background.
Remember that cravings don't last forever. Mine were around 5 to 15 minutes. The more you get through them, the more they start to fade. I still occasionally get cravings, but they are nothing like they were in the early day and by now they are just more annoying than anything because my AV already knows it's lost because I'm not going to give in.
Best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Dee74 
At what point do you give up? Never. Seriously. I tried for 15 years to stop drinking - eventually I got there...I had to do a lot more than I was originally prepared to do... but I got there Serenidad I'm not having a go here, but have you ever thought of not giving into the cravings? Yes, there are hard, but they pass - and every time they pass. and you don't drink you'll get a little stronger. Have you got a strategy for dealing with cravings at all? D
Serenidad I'm not having a go here, but have you ever thought of not giving into the cravings? Yes, there are hard, but they pass - and every time they pass. and you don't drink you'll get a little stronger. Have you got a strategy for dealing with cravings at all? DDee...I know you never went to AA and have been sober for a long time? Seriously...how did you do it???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Thepatman
So sorry about your struggle! If AA worked for you for an extensive period, I think going back is really worth it.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Serenidad
Hi all....Still struggling. Read Rational Recovery....doesn't work for me. If it was THAT easy to say "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind!" would ANY of us have a drinking problem??? Who knows...maybe it works for some people...just not THIS girl! :-(
I DO like what I learned about the Addictive Voice (AV or AVRT), but seriously??? I wish it was THAT easy for ME to quit!
Soooo....I feel I have 2 choices:
1. Keep drinking and end dead
2. Go back to AA like I did when I had 5.5 years of sobriety
I don't want to die so I guess I am gonna throw myself back into AA!
*Biggest problem: the cravings are SO STRONG and hard to overcome this time around....I'm truly exhausted! Giving up sounds like a good option sometimes.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'm just really still struggling. :-( :-( :-(
I DO like what I learned about the Addictive Voice (AV or AVRT), but seriously??? I wish it was THAT easy for ME to quit!
Soooo....I feel I have 2 choices:
1. Keep drinking and end dead
2. Go back to AA like I did when I had 5.5 years of sobriety
I don't want to die so I guess I am gonna throw myself back into AA!
*Biggest problem: the cravings are SO STRONG and hard to overcome this time around....I'm truly exhausted! Giving up sounds like a good option sometimes.
Sorry to be so depressing....I'm just really still struggling. :-( :-( :-(
When you went to AA did you
Get a sponsor?
Go to daily to meetings?
Work the Steps?
Some simply attend meetings which is the fellowship, but not the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The program is the above three suggested ways..... I would emphasize strongly suggested.
If you did those things, what part(s) did you struggle with??
Kind Regards
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
When I was a feeling hopeless and was trying to fight a craving, deeker shared this with me and I found it very touching and helped me feel less alone. I hope it helps you as well.
Originally Posted by deeker
I AM THERE
Do you need Me ?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me
as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am here. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need ME, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for
only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine".
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I AM in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for
I am there. I am there because I have to be, because I AM.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of ME does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law's fulfilling. I am assurance.
I am peace. I am oneness. I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance.
I am your peace. I am ONE with you. I am.
Though you fail to find ME, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never
wavers, because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I AM there.
Guess Who?
I am here seek and you will find me.
Do you need Me ?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I am at work, though you do not understand My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me
as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.
Yet I am here. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need ME, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for
only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine".
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I AM in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for
I am there. I am there because I have to be, because I AM.
Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of ME does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law's fulfilling. I am assurance.
I am peace. I am oneness. I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance.
I am your peace. I am ONE with you. I am.
Though you fail to find ME, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never
wavers, because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I AM there.
Guess Who?
I am here seek and you will find me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
Just remember that cravings won't drive you crazy, Serenidad. They might be super strong and it might feel like they are hard to overcome, but you can overcome them by not giving into them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Anna
Serenidad, you must not give up because this disease is relentless and it will take everything from you. Yes, it's much harder for you this time. We do get worn down when we try and fail. I know you can do this, and please know you can contact me anytime at all if you want to talk. I'm always around.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Serenidad, you are strong enough to overcome the cravings. I know you are. They are just feelings. They do not control you, though you think they do. They don't. I don't know if you should go back to AA or not. For me, I had to reconnect with my spiritual self, and I had to find balance in my life. I relied on some great books, exercise, meditation.
Personally, I think it's the motivation that matters more than the specifics of the program. Once I accepted that alcohol was no longer an option, ever, my mind began shifting to find new ways to deal with things. And, the cravings will lessen as you get through them. That's the way to do it.
Personally, I think it's the motivation that matters more than the specifics of the program. Once I accepted that alcohol was no longer an option, ever, my mind began shifting to find new ways to deal with things. And, the cravings will lessen as you get through them. That's the way to do it.
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