Sisterbobby

6 months "starving this beast", we can do this Sarahnels

dwtbd

The biggest battles ,which ended poorly for me, were the ones I had before I even heard of the term AV. They happened in those times when I would become less then indifferent to my drinking and getting drunk. Those times when I thought I should slow down, or take a break.
I'd decide to reign it in, drink only on the weekends or certainly not before certain hours or any try at moderation. At some point though I found I'd be right back at it , and back to being indifferent about it.
There was always some point when I just gave into the idea of getting drunk. And giving up on the idea of trying to quit. But then I got to a point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I finally decided to quit for real, googling around I stumbled on SR and saw mention of AVRT, got hold of their material and it resonated in a big way.
Deciding to quit was like starting to do battle with ghost of the AV, " I will never drink again and I will never change my mind" was a death sentence for the AV. It some time for the presence of the ghost to diminish, the haunting was there but it was dead entity, just annoying wiffs of dead foe. "Never " is the kryptonite that kills it, there is no option to drink, so no debate , no power for it wield. It's only power is annoyance , starve it out it will die , just not noiselessly. Leave it no option and it will get the picture and bugger off.

Serenidad

Yes, the AV goes away. When I was sober for 5.5 years it went away somewhere between 4-6 months for me. Sadly though, I "forgot" that I was an alcoholic and drank again a year ago. The AV woke up again. I'm trying to put it back to sleep. I know the way I can do that is to stay sober. It's hard but nothing worth while in life is easy. Hang in there!

Dee74

I haven't heard my AV in a very long time

D

itstheone

I am nearly 4 months in and it only occupies a 1/4-1/2 of my daily thoughts. And that is even with increased stress with work as late!! This down from 80-100% at first quit it was awful, almost a "whats the use"...so yes it will fade and before we know it, we kinda forget the struggles as it fades so settle- i hope but the progress is there. It's these very miniscule improvements that we collect everyday towards improvement. So every day you get a little token towards wellness, drink and give them all back! Get on the road and just drive and let them play out for good!!!!!

matilda123

I'm close to 5 months, and I agree it gets easier. I remember at Thanksgiving when I only had a 2+ months under my belt. I spend a lot of time wondering, what am I going to drink at dinner? Will I feel strange?I did. (I also noticed that five adults consumed only one bottle of wine) ! But then at Christmas and all the holiday parties, it was fine. New Year's, munching my lobster, I hardly thought of the champagne I would normally be sipping (okay, chugging). At a bar a couple weeks ago at a friend's gig, I sipped my club soda contentedly.

That being said,I'm still cautious. This last week has been hard for a variety of reasons, including my partner being out of town (I was a solitary binge drinker). I was invited to a super bowl party and decided to decline and just relax at home and work on some projects.

There are celebrations. There are bad days. There are, frankly, horrible days. But alcohol doesn't make those horrible days better and I'm pleased to realize that I can still celebrate without drinking. I really never thought that was possible!

Sisterbobby

I was fighting AV tonight, got so exhausted and took a long nap...

SDH73

Since reading Rational Recovery and adopting AVRT almost 3 weeks ago I haven't heard much more than an occasional pathetic whimper from my AV. Maybe it's waiting around the corner to blindside me, I don't know. I'm still early in this myself so it's hard to say.

wpainterw

My experience is that it sure gets easier as time goes on. The AV will always be there but it progressively weakens as the more rational regions of the brain strengthen. Practice listening to it: childlike, impulsive, obsessive, demanding. Then tell it to shut up or ignore it till it gets the message and comes under control. Never let it get into a struggle with another person's AV!

W.

PinkGstring

Same here 18 days sober getting a focking headache from those two on my shoulders fighting all the time! Give me a break for god's sake!
Choose the Angel every day. I faced the devil yesterday At work and at home (ps im not religious but easier to call it angel and devil)
It's a choppy ride I'm in and I agree it seems harder than the first week.
It's so hard to work two jobs (im self employed photographer and work at K mart) and recovering
Im with you on this ride hang on and keep the angel close
J

Marcher13

Two years down the track my AV is still telling me my clothes on fire so I need a drink but, as Nons says, I don't engage with AV's fool talk anymore.

freshstart57

Congratulations, SDH, you are doing fabulously, and you should understand the magnitude of what you have accomplished. May I ask a 'what-if' question of you? What if it is waiting around the corner? What if you do get an urge to drink again, an urge that is less pathetic and more muscular? What will you do then? Will it matter what the voice of your addiction does?

The AV is bled dry when every temptation it presents, no matter how strong or unexpected, is met with the same unwavering commitment. When it what it does becomes irrelevant to your decision, the AV becomes irrelevant. The end state is that it is simply ignored and accepted - no struggle because there is no worry.

Your sobriety can be an event rather than a process if you say so. And that is all it takes. It can be completed forever and for good. Onward!

Turtle82

Your AV likes it when you only consider short-term goals ... like immediate gratification... and hates it when you consider long-term ones that include consequences. The more you focus on the long-term, the quieter it gets because you're speaking a foreign language to it so it, eventually, just gives up.

Soberween

In early sobriety, H.A.L.T. was very useful to me. If my AV was getting too loud, I ask myself if I was Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Lots of times it was that I was hungry or tired so I would eat something or take nap (if able) and the AV would disappear.

deadlydame

Sarahnels, I found it helpfuls ever since I started antabuse. I still work a program, I still go to AA, sponsor, IOP, therapy but the idea that i would be in much pain if i had a coktail has helped the voice quite a lot these days. another tool I added to my tool belt for now. In ten days, i celebrate 5 months.

itstheone

I too use antabuse...why not! Works.