aldo1981

I have recently started to reflect on what my life used to be like and wanted to share some of my feelings and thoughts with all the members here on (SR)

My drinking started when I was say 16 that was what all my friends did so that is what I did to. I was never one to go to pubs or clubs I drank in the house or in the garage when I got my own place to live.

Drinking was so accessible to me. I never had any trouble paying for alcohol I have been fortunate to have had good jobs and work my problems around them. in 16 years I have only probably missed a handful of days where drinking was to blame I work hard and work under a lot of pressure in a production and manufacturing environment I am sure people in any position within this kind of employment can understand the challenges and goals required daily.

I never drank everyday I drank at my worst 4 days a week but it was the routine I had. if I had a bad day I wanted to drink , if it was a good day I wanted to drink soon I found things to do like decorate or do the garden just so I could drink.

I remember thinking on more than one occasion why do I drink as much and thinking the only way I would stop was if I had a medical reason because of my drinking which in the end was true I had a bad anxiety attack and quit. For 8 weeks I suffered depression and got put on (AD) which I still take now.

I am now 18 weeks sober minus one day that made me feel terrible. I have made the decision I won’t drink again its not worth it I cant go back to the horrible anxiety and depression I felt in the past I love my wife , daughter and soon to be newborn to much to risk anything.

I am taking steps and think I will soon be attending (AA) meetings as I need answers I need to meet like minded people and share my thoughts and see how others cope when making the decision to quit drinking.

I can honestly say life has got better since I quit but there is always that feeling of uncertainty and fear that I get but it’s only been 18 weeks and I drank for 16 years so I imagine it takes time to get used to it ? when I am here its worth noting I am a very impatient person so that doesn’t help if you know what I mean ??

I try not to rant when posting on (SR) but being a typical man I bottled up 16 years of feelings and never had anyone I could talk to well no one I wanted to burden with my thoughts or fears but now I have let it out its hard for me to contain anything now I am honest with myself and others.

I / we will get better it’s only a matter of time, time we can now look forward to I thought life for me was over but its really just beginning.

I hope anyone who reads this can take something positive from it as there’s a better life after giving up it just takes time to adjust to it.

Take care everyone feed back welcome.

anattaboy

Let 'er rip aldo ! I do AA sometimes, here everyday and sometimes just read or meditate. Sometimes I gotta conquer something (today is the water heater). It's all healing if yer not drinkin'. Onward!

Ruby2

Well done on your decision and sober time. I get impatient. When does it get better? For me, it was slowly. Day by day and trial and error. I do attend AA meetings and come on SR to read, listen and learn. One day at a time.

Esspee

Congratulations on so many weeks sober, and vent away. It has to come out somewhere.

And congratulation s on the 'soon to be' newborn

PurpleKnight

That's a great post Aldo!!

aldo1981

Thanks everyone I am back on track feeling strong got myself booked in to an AA meeting so will keep you all posted thanks

Soberwolf

Exellent post Aldo your doing really well bud