Drink Change.
 

Those were the two options I gave myself before xmas. Pretty suicidal I was. Ready to chuck myself off the local bridge definatley. Doing well I was. I wanted to post here, post to mates that I love here. Mates that don't know they are my mates. People that have really touched my heart when I am at my wits end. I've always wnated to talk to them, I can't it seems when I'm sober.

I was doing realaly well mates. I put the drink dowm before crimbo. The misery is too much mates. I Had another couple months.


Why dont I post before I get to this, I dunno mates? I couldn't hate myself more at the moment now mates. Shall I end myself man!@ agghj! I cant be like this anymore mates.

I've been going.


I tell you, stick a ******* dagger in me I wouldnt feeel it now. smash me in the face with a brick , I couldn't care either.

press me down with !

what a *****.. ill tell you what.. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. ********.

Oh JimJim, I am so sorry.

What can we do to help you?

sicko bastard.! I got more than being numb man! I got so much more! It's what keeps me going. I understand poetry, I appreciate the beaty in it, I feel it. I love Bob Dylan. I see the world the way it is.

I'm sorry Jim.
You're in my prayers - and yes you are my mate :)

I really hope you will come back tomorrow.

I think posting here dailyy, sober, could be the start of a new change for you...gotta be worth a shot, doncha think?

D

Jim, we're here for you. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

Please take care of yourself and go to an ER if you feel at risk. We care.

Hey Jimjim. What's going on man?

Have not seen you around. Put the bottle down, you know IT is the one writing this not you. And you know the bottle can distort our thoughts.

Here for you mate

C'mon Jim - that's bollocks.
You see the world in a way that makes it easier for you to drink.

I had no idea what the reality of the world was for 20 years until I stopped drinking.

I understand and appreciate things so much more now - including His Bobness :)

D

We are here for you and care about you Jim!

Sounds like you are dealing with some major depression Jimjim. Alcohol makes it ten times worse. I used to fantasize about throwing myself under a train while in the grip of alcoholism. Deep down I know I'll make it out of this. There is something for us out there besides getting hammered.

I hope you come back and post....where you are at is an awful place that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...but it can and will get better with some changes.

I too hope you come back, post, and start back on the road to sobriety.

We are here for you Jim!!

As you say you've got a lot to offer this world, share it, don't throw it away!!

Personally I've loved the poetry that you've shared with all of us, hopefully you can continue to share it!! :)

Xoxo

You are loved, Jim - and you are among friends. We have not given up on you and never will. Please let's try this again.

Please don't give up on yourself. :hug:

When we give up sometimes other things surface Jim ,

Sounds like you might have been self medicating with booze ?

Seems to me getting a month together is nothing to be dismissed and is reason for hope. With a tweak here and there, applying yourself differently you might be able to achieve indefinite long term sobriety ..

Don't let this become an excuse for a full blown bender jim , Tip the drink and get yourself some help with the dark thoughts .

Cheers mate , m

Jimjim. Put down the bottle and the misery goes too..in time because its the small improvements everyday that keep us going to the next..trust me MATE.

Jim jim, I hope you come back to read these messages of support . You are judging yourself more harshly than anyone else is. For very one person that gives up and never touches a drop more there are 20, 30, 40 who have gone off course. And you, like them, CAN pick yourself up, shake yourself down and get back on that path.

Thinking of you Jim. Put the bottle down man, from following your posts for a long time you appear to have an incredible strength about you deep down.

You can do it - keep reaching out.