alphaomega

I was triggered tonight because I simply wanted some mental downtime.

Tonight, I meditated, excercised, watched a movie, surfed the net, stayed close to SR., interacted with others, listend to music, ate some cake, took a bath, and read. I prayed and painted a little too.

And yet, I'm still feeling restless.

For no other reason than, for just a little while, I want to slip away into oblivion.

How do YOU manage nights (or days) like this ?
When you just want a mental break from the world.

Thanks for reading.

Mirage74

Good question. I watch sports, or an old movie. Eat/drink whatever I want (non-alcoholic of course), and mess around on my phone or computer, including reading/posting on here. Anything to take my mind off wanting a drink or whatever is troubling me. Im only on day 5, so it's not a long term solution, but I just need to get a couple of weeks under my belt and I'll reassess. Maybe start an exercise routine. I'm curious what others do too.

Joe Nerv

I don't go to meetings nearly as much as I did in early recovery, nor as much as I'd like to these days as I'm really busy - but when I do as I did tonight, I get that something I feel I can get nowhere else. And I get to get out of my head.

I noticed that particularly tonight as I sat in my home group meeting, which I haven't been to in a few of weeks. Got really grateful for AA too. I was sitting amongst about 20 people, 15 of which I knew fairly well and I know are friends who understand and all support one another. I really had that "warm bath" experience, and well... yeah, it's why I still like to make meetings. Gives me that connected feeling, while getting the focus off of myself for a little while.

I get it too when I'm working on new music (I'm a bass player), and/or performing.

I also sometimes experience what you describe in the OP and realize I have to just sit with it. It will pass, and I accept that for whatever the reasons, I was meant to just spin my wheels that day or night . It just happens. And then it goes away.

zerothehero

I understand the feeling, and I think Joe is right. It will pass. For me it's about accepting my head. If I can just breathe and observe what's happening and accept it, I tend to calm down. I needed to break the pattern of wanting to get out of my head. I had to befriend my head. We're married. Good times. Bad times. Til death do us part. Sleep can be an awesome thing, too.

Verte

Tonight is one of those nights for me where the less human interaction, the better as I may just spontaneously karate chop or roundhouse kick someone into silence. No, I am generally not violent and do not promote violence. Just feel desperate for silence.

My over the ear headphones are perfect. It is a beautiful silence.

Many more things depending on the day. But I love my headphones always.

ANewDayNYC

You should check out the book Power of Now.

Sometimes sleep is also a good option.

Dee74

let me count the ways

• Music - either listening or playing
  
• Exercise
  
• It's not really spontaneous but Volunteering helps
  
• a video game will sometimes do the trick
  
• funny movie or TV series
  

Those are the main things that do it for me

D

Spacegoat

I don't know how to get out my head as I haven't been able to successfully in years. So I know how you feel.

awuh1

I may be wrong, but it sounds like you might be searching for something to take the place of alcohol and/or other substances. Is this what you did prior to quitting in response to unpleasant thoughts of feelings? Seek a distraction? If the answer is yes then perhaps consider going after the source of the discomfort. Or, if you can not clearly identify what that is then explore different ways to put your finger on it.

It could be that the reason the problem persists lies more in your method of dealing with the problem, rather than the problem itself. Distraction is not always best.

Just a thought.

PinkGstring

I find riding my mountain bike helpful,
there is only one problem it is freaking hot here in central Australia it is summer and 100 degrees! (38-39 C) too hot too exercise.

I play killing video games online URT, surf the net, chat with friends on facebook, I am a loner, I don't have friends I hang out with, don't miss that cos I am not good in groups anyways. My family lives in Holland (and my friends)
I also walk the dog. Go to the doggy park.

Dunno how to get rid of the AV yet but suppose my therapist will teach me CBT this week.

Mags1

I like to read a book.

alphaomega

Thank you for your response. I'm finding that I have a harder time staying sober when I actually DONT have any impending problems. I mean, yes, if you dig deep enough, there can ALWAYS be a reason to drink if that's how you are choosing to deal. But I don't run to the bottle when I have trauma anymore. Primarily because the aftermath is so very debilitating now, I won't be able to function to handle the tasks at hand.

No, it's not dealing with problems that I'm needing.

It's just a desire for a temporary reprieve coupled with a few bliss filled hours.

I know ! I should be greatful enough that I actually have a break from life's perpetual drama right ?



Golly goodness, do I sound like an addict or what ? Gheesh.

FreeOwl

trail runs.... very long trail runs.

and skiing, or surfing, or canoeing or kayaking... anything ending in 'ing' and happening out in nature.

service. giving to others.

SoberLeigh

Volunteering works for me, too. And it seems to have a long term effect for getting me 'outside of myself'; it's a great way to effect a change in perspective.

doggonecarl

It's this longing that might just separate the addict/alcoholic from the "normie." That we need to induce bliss to feel complete. That we have to get "out of our heads." I think we all live in our heads. But the non-drinker either doesn't question that, or they accept it, or they find something to take their minds off their minds. They don't seek a substance to escape it.

Desiring the very thing that brought you to SR is dangerous territory, alpha, remembering it as bliss. Careful. I imagine most relapses start with a similar romancing of alcohol.

alphaomega

Great point. Excellent as a matter of fact.

Since humans have been on earth, it seems seeking a temporary reprieve (aka substances) have been part of the journey. Even indigenous people have used plant based materials (ayuhuasca, tobacco, cocaine) to trip, or relax, or get high. Granted, they are usually running from wild tigers and such so they have a good excuse and all.

So while I totally appreciate and understand your very valid point, it doesn't remove the desire, you know ?

Notmyrealname

Honestly, if I'm not at work, my life is pretty low stress and pleasant. I don't generally feel like I need a break from dealing with my day-to-day.. Maybe this job I've grown to hate is a blessing, in that the rest of my life is a lark by comparison.

I understand the desire to self-intoxicate, to lift the mood by chemical means. Who doesn't like getting a high of some kind? But the price you pay for that alcohol buzz is just way, way too high. A mood lift from running or coffee is mostly a net positive. Booze is kind of the opposite.

I will say that since I started getting serious about sobriety I think I'm much more about working hard towards changing things I don't like in my life, now that simply obscuring and blotting out unpleasant facts with alcohol. Maybe those efforts are just getting me to a place where I have less to blot out? I do feel like I have some measure of control. That's one thing that I find helps me shake off the blues -- doing some activity that improves my situation, whether it's exercise or home improvements or just cleaning house. Makes me feel like I'm not so much at the mercy of reality, that I have some power over what happens to me.

doggonecarl

So maybe we stuck with it. Our burden, and our challenge.

Buddhism talks a lot about desire...

alphaomega

Yes oh yes. If I can get out in nature, it's an instant bliss filled repreive. Instant. Vitamin D and I are great room mates.

Unfortunately, it's the frozen tundra over here. So there's not much of that floating around. I'm supplementing but it's just not the same as toes in the grass or sand.

alphaomega

I do that now. Regularly. When I'm craving, I just allow it to be. It always passes. Some days faster than others.

Please understand, this is not about me using. There is no hope in that for me anymore. The damage caused is too profound to even contemplate it. To drink is to die now. I'm all in.

But just sometimes, I would like to be all out.

That's just me being honest.