Khorhey

Yes real sleep is glorious. Eating normally is great too. I’m 55 and 40 years of drinking under my belt.
Yeah that’s a long time. Young folks you don’t want to wait that long.

My kids told me they hated being around me when I was drinking. On and off doesn’t work anymore.

D122y

Im 55 too.

I drank for about 50 years. My Dad thought it was cool or something to let a 5 year old drink as much beer as he could stomach.

I think there is a life time physical and mental limit we all are given. I reached mine at 50. Some don't hit theirs until 80.

I am glad I hit mine earlier because sobriety is amazing. Being of the purest mind and body I can muster, living as my biology has been intended and designed is truly truly the only way.

I realize now that I was always intended to be a pure and sober person, I just got addicted when I was a little kid and didn't know any better.

Kindling is the irreversible effects of too much drinking. Too many brain cells have been destroyed. The brains rewiring has had to go to paths not designed for their new use. These paths are more frail than the old ones and any relapse quickly damages and destroys them. New paths may or may not be available.

Eventually, I will need drugs to feel normal, walk with a limp, or forever have a slur in my voice etc etc.

I am terrified of booze at this point.

Thanks.

DriGuy

I think this is a good attitude. Information was a big help in my recovery, and I think you should get as much as you can. The saying, "Knowledge is power," seems never more important than in the case of recovery from alcoholism, and gaining knowledge about kindling is something I used as one of the reasons to never start up again. Quitting was hard enough by itself, and I had been in the downward spiral for two years. Of course, alcoholism is always a downward spiral, but the sudden acceleration that I experienced was something I never want to see again, and considering how hard that first step toward recovery was, I don't want to have to do that again, especially if kindling is true, and quitting, as well as drinking and spiraling is going to be that much harder, I don't need any more of that kind of chaos in my life.

To be a bit pedantic about it, I actually don't have first hand knowledge that alcoholism progresses even when you are not drinking, but I don't have to. If you only pickup where you left off, that's bad enough. I don't know that kindling is true, because once I quit, I never went back to test the waters to find out, but I believe it and that's a good enough reason to stay quit. I have a stronger belief that I would pick up where I left off, but where I left off was unacceptable, so there is no point in going back to the unacceptable.

I am so happy to be sober. It's one of the more important things I've done in my life. I think I could make a good case that it is the number one most important thing I've done in my life, because it was the foundation for possibly even better things that came afterwards, but ranking the most important things in my life is not one of the most important things in my life. I've got too much else to enjoy.