geeknocker

I'm six months sober. The last three weeks the temptation of going back to meth has been unbearable. I have dreams about getting high EVERY night, all night long and I'm not getting enough sleep. It's all I think about during the day. I think about it while I'm working. I plot how I'll get it... etc. I'm having emotional crying sessions a lot and I feel that any moment I may go in search for it. I have no one to talk to that really understands what I'm going through or anyone that can actually give me advice on how to handle this. I'll I hear from my hubby or family n friends is I'm sorry... it must be rough. That doesn't help me get through it at all!! It makes me feel more alone.
Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to make it through another day?? So I can sleep at night... so I can work and not break out crying because the desire is too much for me to handle??
Help

Dan

Welcome to SoberRecovery. Have you ever read about Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome?
It happens to many of us when we're well into sobriety. And six months is surely one of the hot zones. I know, because I'm in the middle of a mild case myself. I've read a lot about it, and I've tried to apply some of the suggested things. A lot of the emotional discomfort, for me anyway, comes from the fact that being sober makes me way more aware of my life, and all that goes on around me. When I was loaded all the time, I didn't notice much of what life was really.
It's really like a slow, sometimes painful birth again.
I'm going to go look for a link to post for you about PAWS, hoping you'll read it and find some solutions. Do you have a support system of any kind? Or a recovery program?
Anyway, again, welcome.
I hope you stick around.
Real glad you're reaching out.

In memory of miracle

Six months is great ! You have come to a good place for help and support .I know that dealing with cravings can be very difficult . Do you have any f2f support such as an NA group ? I use the program as my method of recovery, I found I could not do it alone . One of the things that helps me is to think the drug all the way thru to the end , how it completely demoralized me the suicidal despair I felt after a run ,that I was 25 lbs underweight and looked like a walking skeleton with my hair falling out .I find when I think it thru there is absolutley nothing back there for me.Dont give up your 6 months it is so not worth it ! I am pullin for you ..prayers ^ Trish

Dan

Here's the link to a thread about PAWS. A few posts in, the Moderator Morning Glory has an extensive resource for you.
PAWS.

sherbear5104

Welcome to SoberRecovery,
It's good to see that you are reaching out for help. Togerther we can do, what I cannot do alone. I, like Trish, find my support in NA. The people there understand what I am going through. 6 months is GREAT! Don't leave before the miracle happens. I'll say a prayer for you. Hang on and stick around. There are alot of great people here that can offer you support.
Sherry

KelKel

Hi!
Glad you found us (SR).

Your primative addictive brain is working over-time in order to get you to use what it desires most and that is your DOC (Drug of choice).
Do not give in!
Please remember in detail all of the crappy places your addiction took you.

Here is a simple excercise that you can do before you go to sleep.
I know this stuiff works because I used to do it before college exams. And still use it, but I picture myself drug-free....

Imagine yourself happy, joyous and free before addiction set in.....
Then focus on that image.
Then concentrate on your breathing (in & out) and picture the image you have created.

This is no joke...
Athletes use this technique all the time....
They envision winning their competition.
It definately helps in the final outcome...

Hang tight and we can get through this!

geeknocker

Thanks to everyone taking time out to offer me advice... You have no idea how much it means to me to know that people know and understand me. I have no support group. I quit on my own... went with my mother and sister to a secluded place to withdrawal and have no contact with outside people and have struggled with the rest on my own... occassionally being able to talk to a few people who don't understand about it. I'm going to check out PAWS and hope it's for me.
THANKS SOOO MUCH!! Keep the advice coming. Every single reply helps me to last another minute. You guys are the greatest and I love it here so far! THANKS!!

MootPoint

Welcome geeknocker!

I'm sure you've heard the old saw "one day at a time". And for you to have made 6 months, you have had to been applying it.

Even if you don't go to NA, get the Basic Text. Hazeldon Books has it. PM me if you want their website or their 800 number for a catelogue. We're not supposed to post websites on the boards that are selling stuff. They also have an AA book called "living sober" which helped this alkie/addict.

But, and this is a big but...... you would soooooooo benefit from going to a f2f meeting. You may be doing it on your own, but it doesn't sound like you are doing it comfortably. ONe addict helping another is much better.

At the very least, keep posting here. Go down to the substance abuse forum, or even the NA forum and check it out down there. Maybe attend some online meetings here.... the times are listed in the chat forum.

The dreams? I have crack dreams to this day and I've been clean from crack since 2002. They drove me nuts for a few months but now its "Oh, its just another crack dream."

JaySee

Hi Geeknocker

I understand where you are at the moment. I did 6 months dry (alcohol is my drug) on my own and then went back to drinking. Almost in an instant I was straight back to that horrible place I so much wanted to leave behind.

I now attend AA meetings, I didn't want to, but now I do. Listening to others who are in exactly the same position helps in a way I couldn't imagine. Very quickly I realised that I had to change. I had to change the way I think, the way I deal with emotions, the way I deal with life. If I stay the same person, then I will do exactly what I have always done, pick up. Quite a hard pill to swallow really, but seeing others working to make changes, embracing those changes and having a better life gives me the encouragement I need.

Try an NA meeting if you can, I now look forward to my AA meetings.

much love

JC

indigo

Hello and welcome,
Talking about how you feel always helps and it's hard but worth it, hang fast the rewards are worth it and it does get easier after these cravings.
Love Indigo

Rowan

Hi Geeknocker
I'm Rowan, alcoholic. Welcome to SR! I'm so glad you posted rather than give in to the craving! That's terrific. I know that I had drinking dreams for quite some time after giving up alcohol. They were very scary and I was terrified that it would send me back out. I concur with others who have encouraged you to get to a meeting. I know I wouldn't have made it without AA. I finally found a place where I fit in. Hang on to those precious 6 months with all your might. God Bless and keep coming back we need you here.
Love Rowan