Not sure if I am an Alcoholic....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Weston, WI
Posts: 3
Not sure if I am an Alcoholic....
I sobered up last year right around this same time. I was sober for 6 months and then decided I could drink responsibly. I have never really considered myself an alcoholic, but I know that if things continue as they are I more than likely will be someday. I don't drink every day, I don't need a drink to get through the day, I don't think about drinking all the time, I haven't lost anything (yet) because of my drinking. My problem is that when I do drink, I get drunk. 75% of the time. I don't know what to do. Do I quit now to "beat it to the punch"? Do I just keep trying until I finally figure out how to control it? Please help. I am at a loss.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
I never lost a job either due to drinking, never got a DUI, never ruined a relationship, no financial problems etc, however I could see alcohol was starting to affect my life and realised that one day it could progress and maybe things may get worse if I didn't do something.
Controlling alcohol was then something I tried for over a year, and it never worked, for me it wasn't a skill I could learn, I either had it or I didn't, because like you I drank to get drunk, so in my mind what was the point of 1 or 2 drinks? it needed to be a lot more to make drinking worth while for the desired effect and so controlling was never going to happen for me.
I think you need to work out if alcohol is causing you problems, for me I could see the grip alcohol was starting to have on my life and made a change, whether i was an "alcoholic" didn't matter, the solution was the same by way of sorting out my drinking.
You'll find loads of support here on SR whatever you decide, great to have you onboard!!
I never lost a job either due to drinking, never got a DUI, never ruined a relationship, no financial problems etc, however I could see alcohol was starting to affect my life and realised that one day it could progress and maybe things may get worse if I didn't do something.
Controlling alcohol was then something I tried for over a year, and it never worked, for me it wasn't a skill I could learn, I either had it or I didn't, because like you I drank to get drunk, so in my mind what was the point of 1 or 2 drinks? it needed to be a lot more to make drinking worth while for the desired effect and so controlling was never going to happen for me.
I think you need to work out if alcohol is causing you problems, for me I could see the grip alcohol was starting to have on my life and made a change, whether i was an "alcoholic" didn't matter, the solution was the same by way of sorting out my drinking.
You'll find loads of support here on SR whatever you decide, great to have you onboard!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Wiscogirl nice to meet you
Alcoholism is progressive and only worsens the more we drink
If you try to moderate when your own red flags are going up id be very careful of drinking again to see if you could control it
I think by stopping now your stopping a problem
you have tons of support from ppl who will help & advise you along the way
you can do this bud
Alcoholism is progressive and only worsens the more we drink
If you try to moderate when your own red flags are going up id be very careful of drinking again to see if you could control it
I think by stopping now your stopping a problem
you have tons of support from ppl who will help & advise you along the way
you can do this bud
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
I am the same way.
Do you want to control it?
Does having 2 drinks appeal to you? Or is it two drinks with the possibility of eight?
I don't understand the pleasure in a single drink.
I think the term 'alcoholic' is a bit misleading. These things, cigarettes, gambling, etc., have a similar affect on everyone. But drinking is praised high and low and so is only cut out when some kind of extreme is reached. And then the 'alcoholic' can admit defeat. But what about the rest of us?
It's really hard to treat it as a common vice because it's also a sign of personal excellence. It's a way of saying, "I enjoy life." People get irritated at you when you don't do it. But the idea that you are a better person capable of a richer life with alcohol is an obvious fiction.
Therein is the dilemma. Put it to rest as just a common, expensive vice, or get lured into its fictive promises until it becomes a serious issue. It's hard to think straight about it because it is so integrated with every moment of enjoyment. It requires really reorienting the way you look at it, at your own motivations, and what you hold to be true.
Do you want to control it?
Does having 2 drinks appeal to you? Or is it two drinks with the possibility of eight?
I don't understand the pleasure in a single drink.
I think the term 'alcoholic' is a bit misleading. These things, cigarettes, gambling, etc., have a similar affect on everyone. But drinking is praised high and low and so is only cut out when some kind of extreme is reached. And then the 'alcoholic' can admit defeat. But what about the rest of us?
It's really hard to treat it as a common vice because it's also a sign of personal excellence. It's a way of saying, "I enjoy life." People get irritated at you when you don't do it. But the idea that you are a better person capable of a richer life with alcohol is an obvious fiction.
Therein is the dilemma. Put it to rest as just a common, expensive vice, or get lured into its fictive promises until it becomes a serious issue. It's hard to think straight about it because it is so integrated with every moment of enjoyment. It requires really reorienting the way you look at it, at your own motivations, and what you hold to be true.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
I never thought I lost anything either, except my self respect and maybe a couple of brain cells.
But after years of drinking at the end of a pressure packed work day (which was my rationalization) I realized I had lost some things due to my drinking which were less tangible and harder to quantify.
The things I lost were time (time spent drinking, time spent recovering from drinking, time spent hiding bottles, time spent trying to remember what happened at the end of a movie, or looking for my wallet or keys because I don't remember the end of the night) and lost opportunity. By lost opportunity, I mean some of my potential. These are the things I might have done, or might have become in my life, if I hadn't spent so much time with my head stuck in a bottle. I'll never know the answer to that.
In answer to your question about being an alcoholic? The label you put on yourself doesn't matter so much, but you did take the time to sign up and join this website. I think you might already know the answer to your question.
But after years of drinking at the end of a pressure packed work day (which was my rationalization) I realized I had lost some things due to my drinking which were less tangible and harder to quantify.
The things I lost were time (time spent drinking, time spent recovering from drinking, time spent hiding bottles, time spent trying to remember what happened at the end of a movie, or looking for my wallet or keys because I don't remember the end of the night) and lost opportunity. By lost opportunity, I mean some of my potential. These are the things I might have done, or might have become in my life, if I hadn't spent so much time with my head stuck in a bottle. I'll never know the answer to that.
In answer to your question about being an alcoholic? The label you put on yourself doesn't matter so much, but you did take the time to sign up and join this website. I think you might already know the answer to your question.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
No one can tell you if you're an alcoholic or not. That's something you need to decide. But, once you cross the invisible line, there is no going back.
Take a look around and hopefully you will make the decision to stop drinking.
No one can tell you if you're an alcoholic or not. That's something you need to decide. But, once you cross the invisible line, there is no going back.
Take a look around and hopefully you will make the decision to stop drinking.
Resolutely Staying Sober ODAAT
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 103
Originally Posted by davaidavai 
I don't understand the pleasure in a single drink.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by wiscogirl
I was sober for 6 months and then decided I could drink responsibly.
But you couldn't? Then maybe you should stay sober. That would mean, by not drinking.
Not trying to be flip. It's a hard thing to admit. But a lot of us here have had to admit that we can't drink safely or responsibly, and we have good lives.
Best wishes for your health!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I waited far too long to address my drinking and pretty much lost everything. Took about 6-7 years to go from a great job in finance with a nice car, condo, awesome girlfriend, to unemployed, single, evicted and hopeless.
I seriously thought that everyone drank every evening since my parents always did. But I just built up a tolerance that needed more and more booze. Trust me that things will get worse for you. Bad things may not have happened yet but you really don't want to find out if they will.
I seriously thought that everyone drank every evening since my parents always did. But I just built up a tolerance that needed more and more booze. Trust me that things will get worse for you. Bad things may not have happened yet but you really don't want to find out if they will.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Originally Posted by wiscogirl
My problem is that when I do drink, I get drunk. 75% of the time.
My great grandfather died from alcohol withdrawal (delirium tremens) in Marathon County. I assume that he never had a chance to read the quote I have include below. He died the same year as the books first edition.
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, Step over to the nearest barroom (no trouble finding one in your neck of the woods) and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time." (Alcoholics Anonymous first edition 1939)
The reason that you get drunk 75% of the time is because you metabolize alcohol differently than most other people (although perhaps only differently than 60% of those in central Wisconsin). This makes it quite difficult to stop once you have taken a first drink. This difficulty stopping, once you have had one or two, is the hallmark of alcoholism. I'm afraid the only real way to avoid all the tragedy which alcohol holds for your future is to give it up completely. Moderation just does not work. Believe us. We've tried.
How's the skiing on Rib mountain these days? Bet you curl in Marathon Park
All the best to you, and Aloha.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by wiscogirl
I have never really considered myself an alcoholic, but I know that if things continue as they are I more than likely will be someday. My problem is that when I do drink, I get drunk. 75% of the time. Do I quit now to "beat it to the punch"?
Since you are 75% of the way to declaring yourself an alcoholic, are you going to wait until you get a DUI or lose your job or end up homeless because you do lose everything?
I GUARANTEE that you can have a full and enjoyable life without alcohol. Alcohol does not make a person but it sure can destroy them! I say that quitting now will not only "beat it to the punch" but will save you a lot of pain and heartache that many of us have experienced first hand.
You CAN stop, you've already proven that. This time, make the decision to embrace sobriety to the best of your ability and you will reap rewards in your life that you never imagined!
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Welcome to SR!
I initially quit drinking very early on. I am so glad that I quit for years when I was younger. I was not sure if I was an alcoholic, but it seemed like drinking was risky for me. I was an occasional binge drinker.
After years of sobriety, I tried drinking a few times and it did get out of control. That convinced me that I really do have a problem with alcohol when I drink. Having years of sobriety made it easier to quit drinking after just a few short relapses.
I am so glad that I've gotten to live most of my adult life sober.
Many people stop drinking before they 'lose' anything. And lots of people don't drink every day but still have a problem with alcohol.
I initially quit drinking very early on. I am so glad that I quit for years when I was younger. I was not sure if I was an alcoholic, but it seemed like drinking was risky for me. I was an occasional binge drinker.
After years of sobriety, I tried drinking a few times and it did get out of control. That convinced me that I really do have a problem with alcohol when I drink. Having years of sobriety made it easier to quit drinking after just a few short relapses.
I am so glad that I've gotten to live most of my adult life sober.
Many people stop drinking before they 'lose' anything. And lots of people don't drink every day but still have a problem with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Could you quit drinking for 30 days without any problem? Maybe give it a try & see how it goes. If it's hard & you constantly obsess about it...maybe that will help answer some questions for you. Be well & hang in there!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
WG, I see a bit of resignation in your post. THAT will snowball over the years and hs for most of us here. It's the exchange that takes us. If you don't give yourself away you will not have to wake up one day and wonder"where am I"-- "how did I get here"?. You just hit the nail on the head as to how we all got here. You never have to give a piece of yourself away again. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Everytime we drink, ingest, consume,
take, swallow poison, drugs, alcohol,
a substance, it affects all parts of our
body. ALL the vital organs, muscles,
blood flow from head to toe.
Once that poison enters our mouth
and is swallowed going down our
throats, there's no stopping it. It
travels thruout every inch of
our insides damaging or causing
some kind of effect to our minds,
body and souls.
Our natural body systems react
differently when we injest a toxic
substance. No matter how it does,
it still is affected by this poison in
some way or another.
Poison messes up our natural insides.
Our beating hearts. Our lungs that breaths
air in and out helping us live. It affects
our mental state. Making us think irrationally.
It affects our motor skills, arms, legs, muscles
numbing them. Controlling them like a vice,
or like a robot.
Like a puppet master which had me hanging
from strings controlling my actions or movements.
24 yrs ago I entered recovery, but yrs
before that, I never thought I was an
alcoholic. Sure I got drunk, had hangovers,
regrets things I said and did.
I lost control when I ran off the road
into some construction hitting a concrete
culvert sitting on top the ground and
spent 10 days in the hospital pretty
messed up.
I didn't drink for the next 3 month because
I was on pain meds. But as soon as the pain
left, I thought I could drink responsible and
ended up at the same bar and returning home
in the wee hours drunk.
From Feb 1990 the time of my accident,
to August 1990, even tho I didn't drink
during my recovery, my demon inside me
wasn't moving, but was surely growing
and once I lifted poison to my lips that last
time in Aug.. that demon came out in full
force ready to kill me.
I wanted to end my emotional pain
with pills that last day, but thank God,
it failed. Thru family intervention, my
family stepped in getting me help I desperately
needed at that time in my life sending me
into the hands of those who knew about
addiction and had the knowledge to pass
on to me to teach me how to live life a
day at a time without trying to kill myself
with poison.
I finally admitted I was an alcohol with
NO control over that demon alcohol. I
accepted I had problems with alcohol
and finally believed that I could and
would learn to live sober using a program
of recovery to teach me, guide me every
step of the way.
Alcoholism is an illness that affects many
many many people, and many never admit
they have a problem with it, to never get
help for it. And so they live a miserable unhealthy
life till poison consumes their lives.
You, I, and many others who have this
addiction can live a healthy, happy, honest
life using some sort of recovery program
to remain sober till death due us part.
take, swallow poison, drugs, alcohol,
a substance, it affects all parts of our
body. ALL the vital organs, muscles,
blood flow from head to toe.
Once that poison enters our mouth
and is swallowed going down our
throats, there's no stopping it. It
travels thruout every inch of
our insides damaging or causing
some kind of effect to our minds,
body and souls.
Our natural body systems react
differently when we injest a toxic
substance. No matter how it does,
it still is affected by this poison in
some way or another.
Poison messes up our natural insides.
Our beating hearts. Our lungs that breaths
air in and out helping us live. It affects
our mental state. Making us think irrationally.
It affects our motor skills, arms, legs, muscles
numbing them. Controlling them like a vice,
or like a robot.
Like a puppet master which had me hanging
from strings controlling my actions or movements.
24 yrs ago I entered recovery, but yrs
before that, I never thought I was an
alcoholic. Sure I got drunk, had hangovers,
regrets things I said and did.
I lost control when I ran off the road
into some construction hitting a concrete
culvert sitting on top the ground and
spent 10 days in the hospital pretty
messed up.
I didn't drink for the next 3 month because
I was on pain meds. But as soon as the pain
left, I thought I could drink responsible and
ended up at the same bar and returning home
in the wee hours drunk.
From Feb 1990 the time of my accident,
to August 1990, even tho I didn't drink
during my recovery, my demon inside me
wasn't moving, but was surely growing
and once I lifted poison to my lips that last
time in Aug.. that demon came out in full
force ready to kill me.
I wanted to end my emotional pain
with pills that last day, but thank God,
it failed. Thru family intervention, my
family stepped in getting me help I desperately
needed at that time in my life sending me
into the hands of those who knew about
addiction and had the knowledge to pass
on to me to teach me how to live life a
day at a time without trying to kill myself
with poison.
I finally admitted I was an alcohol with
NO control over that demon alcohol. I
accepted I had problems with alcohol
and finally believed that I could and
would learn to live sober using a program
of recovery to teach me, guide me every
step of the way.
Alcoholism is an illness that affects many
many many people, and many never admit
they have a problem with it, to never get
help for it. And so they live a miserable unhealthy
life till poison consumes their lives.
You, I, and many others who have this
addiction can live a healthy, happy, honest
life using some sort of recovery program
to remain sober till death due us part.
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