Sick of feeling this way
 

Hi everyone, i dont even know why im on here typing this, but i am so sick of sobriety. I am only 2 and a half months sober but im sick of feeling like this. I feel like im just stuck crawling in my own skin. I am full of so much rage and anger lately, i dont think ive eve been this angry. I am in AA but i havent really met thatmany people, and all the people i have are nice, but definatly not my "type" of people. I get sick of hearing, my higher power this, my higher power that. I feel like they try to mind **** me and program me into being one of them. The weird part is I have gone to church my whole life, and i definatly believe in God. ????? I just find it irritating, dont ask me why.I hate that everytime im having a problem, all i hear is, " Your stuck inself", "you need to smash ur ego". Ugghhhh i cant stand it! Yea i am! So what, what about me?. I dunno,Im just not used to having no social life and i just find sobriety deathly boring. I cant even date for ***** sakes, excuse my french. I also am a single parent of 2 young kids, and i feel like i have absolutly no way to escape the stress of daily life, like everything i enjoyed has been taken away from me. Did anyone else feel this way, or hate sobriety this much? Any suggestions? Btw, im also broke and unemployed right now, since i left my job at a pub recently, since it was too difficult to work there with all the temptations, so i dont even have any money to go do anything fun righ now. K im just ranting now sorry. Im just not happy and needed someone to talk to. :a108:

While sobriety isn't as exciting as drinking in some ways, wondering what we did last night when drunk is excitement we can live without. Keep thinking about why you are getting sober and what you like about sobriety. Also keep on thinking about what you've gained by not drinking.
You are a single parent of 2 young kids. Don't they deserve a sober parent?

I am almost at 12 weeks, and while I still feel like **** some days, today is one of them. I am way happier than when I was dealing with the anxiety and pain of drinking.

I found AA interesting, first I fought it, then I went to get a temporary sponsor and that has helped tremendously. I feel the people from AA are becoming my social outlet, and they help me deal through the day.

Did you get a temporary sponsor?

Hi Tired awesome job on 2.5 months have you checked out SR's secular section Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Early sobriety is a rollercoaster and is full of emotions good & bad affecting us the good news is it balances out

And i bet your a better mum sober that is very positive

Have you considered addiction counselling or group therapy ?

You have our full support and you can lean on us anytime

Congrats again on 2.5 months keep pushing through my friend

Yes obviously they deserve a sober parent, thats the only reason im doing this, and still sober. Im just miserable thats all.

I like boring.

Guess I partied enough for 6 lifetimes. LOL! But seriously, I prefer this quiet lifestyle and don't miss the crushing anxiety, heart coming out of my chest, nausea, constant paranoia, depression, lack of money, constant runs, heart burns, awful booze smell, failed promises with my little boy. I could go on..

Thanks sober wolf, sorry that reply was for strategery. But i appreciate hearing that it evens out, i just dont want to feel like this anymore. Im not happy, i hve my moments but they are far and few between. I feel like such a fake. I know it is the right thing to do for my kids. And i know this is really selfish, but I AM SELFISH apparently, which i never really took much note of when i was drinking, but i wonder "well wat about me? " Yea me being sober is good for everyone around me, but for me...i dont know.

yea, i do have a sponser, and half the time i never can get ahold of her, ive called her 3 times today and still havent heard from her.

Hi Tired think of sober things you could do that will make you happy

before drinking did you have any hobbies ?

Your not a fake your reaching out that makes you awesome by default Tired

Tired, I did feel that way sometimes in the first few months. I was resentful and felt like I was missing out. Mostly though, I felt like Patman - I was lucky to be out of that insane life and was grateful for the peace. Eventually I grew to appreciate & treasure my new life - it's wonderful to be free.

I'm glad you wanted to talk things over here. I hope it helps with the anxiety and frustration to know you're among friends who understand.

Hi Tired,

I can drink. I can go to the supermarket and buy hundreds of pounds of alcohol and sit here drinking as much as I can.

While that might not seem like a bad idea when the AV kicks in, it sure is the next day, when I am throwing up, splitting headache and can't work.

I am not in AA, my own personal view is they focus on the 12 steps because it works, but in order to work, you have to commit to the program 100% and I am not prepared to do that.

I am not an alcoholic, I am a person who used to drink, but now doesnt because it is easier for me to abstain than moderate. Simple.

No labels, not titles, no expectations and certainly no higher power involved.

I make it through each day by appreciating what I have and could have lost.

Find a solution that works for you, AA isnt for everyone, that would be too easy wouldn't it.

I definitely felt an uncomfortableness when I got Sober, the reason being is it was different, it was stepping out of what I was used to and felt kinda lost without my alcohol every evening after work.

It's going to take time for new habits to be formed and routines to be changed, it's not going to happen in a matter of months, turning a life a round can't be done overnight!!

Hang in there!! :)

Thank you so much guys <3 When i really think about it, it isnt sobriety i dislike so much, i think its AA. I was starting step 4 and i really dont want to make a list of everyone ive ever come across, thats made me angry, and i also dont want to go make amends to people i havent even spoke to in forever. I dont see the point in getting all upset rehashing every past event of my life. I realize im not perfect, but other than my kids, i havent stole from anyone, hurt anybody, broke any serious laws like drinking and driving. The only one i need to make up to are my kids, which im finding difficult since im being made to direct my attention else where, like the past, which is putting me in a mood.

I think i just need a break from AA, iwill still go to meetings hear and there, but im just not feeling this whole culture. I feel like they are trying to make me think im sum god awful person, and the only way to stay sober is do everything they say. I find it weird.
My sobriety is between me and God and i think with his help, i will be just fine.

HAS ANYONE STAYED SOBER WITHOUT WORKING ALL THE 12 STEPS?

You shouldn't have to be feel sad in Sobriety, you should be happy and congratulated, and feel proud that you've made the necessary changes in your life for the better!!

I didn't use AA to get Sober, I use SR and some secular methods, there is a secular section here in the Forum, check out some of the stickies at the top for more info:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

It's all about finding something that works, the goal is the same for all of us, but the methods can vary person to person!! :)

I didnt do the steps but i attended mtns

i done group therapy & saw a local acohol addiction team

I volenteered & completed 2 college courses

SR is now my main source of recovery, Pk's link is very useful if AA isnt for you

Thank purplenite, im going to check that out right now :D, u guys are awesome, i actually lovethis site :)

You are trying to find joy in things you "used" to do.
Why not try new things now?
Step out, pick a goal.

You will start to feel better in your skin.
I did after a while.

"HAS ANYONE STAYED SOBER WITHOUT WORKING ALL THE 12 STEPS? "

I have.
I don't like that 4 letter word..."work" ;)

Hey there Tired, I can't think of anything wise to say or advice to give you because I'm still trying to navigate a path through this stuff as well. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way. I like reading posts here of people celebrating sobriety anniversaries, because I hope that at some point I'll feel that way too. Right now I can relate to a great deal of the emotions that you have expressed. Thank you for this thread, you've helped me feel less alone in my struggle :)

So far, I hate sobriety too. I'm a month in. There are definitely some reliefs about it, but damn, is this life? Is this how people feel everyday? It is lonely. I don't get it. I remember looking at people who didn't get high and lived their life and being amazed that they could be happy. Or are they secretly miserable and go home and cry, like I do? I keep hearing, it'll get better, and somedays I really believe that it is. I cope a lot better than I used to, but I feel like that is all I'm doing. Coping. That's not living, or is it?
I really feel like I just blew up all over your post, sorry. I just needed someone to talk to, someone I didn't have to lie to, and I saw that you were sick of it too. This reply may not be helpful because I have no words of hope or wisdom to offer, but it looks like we are going through the same frustrating feelings that come with being newly sober. I don't know about you, but sometimes it's a relief for me to hear that I'm not totally alone in my feelings.
I just really relate to the anger and pain. I felt like (and hoped) my head would explode all over my living room before I logged on to the site, not really thinking it would calm me down. It did. Thank you for sharing, it's nice (not sure if nice is the right way to put it) to know that I'm not the only one on this roller coaster made of sh*t.