Hello Everyone - first post , need help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 8
Hello Everyone - first post , need help
Hi everybody,
My name is Zach. I've been browsing these forums for awhile now, but I've never posted.
Well, I have a HUGE problem with alcohol. I'm 23 years old, and have been drinking since about 17. It's off and on, but moreso on. For every 6 months I do drink, I won't drink for 2 weeks. It's becoming a huge problem of my life. It's ruined my relationship with my family (who is very supportive), my girlfriend of 3 years, my motivation, my determination, and my self esteem. For me, I drink to escape. I need help. I've been through an inpatient program but I didn't complete the 30 days. I don't like being in a controlled environment. But I Want to get better. But I relapsed. I WAS sober since only last Thursday, but I relapsed yesterday. Im getting medicine from my doctor for my withdrawals which are very bad, but they didn't seem to be enough so my AV gave in and told me to drink. I feel SO guilty right now. I can see what this does to my family and girlfriend (alcohol ruined my relationship with my other friends) and it hurts me seeing them feel this way. The reason I gave in, which is so sad, is because the hospital said I couldn't get into outpatient treatment until February 9th. Its January 29. Ive been going on withdrawals for 6 days and I was almost past it but that still didn't keep me from taking that darn sip of vodka. My drink of choice is vodka. I want to get better, so bad. But it's like the slightest bit of stress I feel that's what I turn to. My family doesn't know that either. So I feel guilty on that aspect, too. My question is, what do you guys do to handle stress when you feel the need to drink? I want to let this stuff go out out of my life. It's damaged me so so much at a young age. I feel my physical health deteriorating, my mental health is just different from who I used to be, everything. This drug has a handle on me. I need help.
My name is Zach. I've been browsing these forums for awhile now, but I've never posted.
Well, I have a HUGE problem with alcohol. I'm 23 years old, and have been drinking since about 17. It's off and on, but moreso on. For every 6 months I do drink, I won't drink for 2 weeks. It's becoming a huge problem of my life. It's ruined my relationship with my family (who is very supportive), my girlfriend of 3 years, my motivation, my determination, and my self esteem. For me, I drink to escape. I need help. I've been through an inpatient program but I didn't complete the 30 days. I don't like being in a controlled environment. But I Want to get better. But I relapsed. I WAS sober since only last Thursday, but I relapsed yesterday. Im getting medicine from my doctor for my withdrawals which are very bad, but they didn't seem to be enough so my AV gave in and told me to drink. I feel SO guilty right now. I can see what this does to my family and girlfriend (alcohol ruined my relationship with my other friends) and it hurts me seeing them feel this way. The reason I gave in, which is so sad, is because the hospital said I couldn't get into outpatient treatment until February 9th. Its January 29. Ive been going on withdrawals for 6 days and I was almost past it but that still didn't keep me from taking that darn sip of vodka. My drink of choice is vodka. I want to get better, so bad. But it's like the slightest bit of stress I feel that's what I turn to. My family doesn't know that either. So I feel guilty on that aspect, too. My question is, what do you guys do to handle stress when you feel the need to drink? I want to let this stuff go out out of my life. It's damaged me so so much at a young age. I feel my physical health deteriorating, my mental health is just different from who I used to be, everything. This drug has a handle on me. I need help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Welcome, iiredskin, to SR.
Urge surfing/mindfulness is a great tool to use for urges and cravings.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...84607526,d.eXY
Breathing techniques can be useful for urges and stress reduction. Exercise helps many also, even a walk.
Here are a couple more links:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Urge surfing/mindfulness is a great tool to use for urges and cravings.
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j...84607526,d.eXY
Breathing techniques can be useful for urges and stress reduction. Exercise helps many also, even a walk.
Here are a couple more links:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Resolutely Staying Sober ODAAT
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 103
There is no simple answer outside of accepting that you have a problem with addiction, and truly honestly want to quit in your heart and mind. I have known for a long time that I am an alcoholic, but I never really accepted that fact, nor did I have any desire to act upon cleaning my life up. I am not sure what exactly caused that switch to flip for me, all I know is that one day I woke up miserable, with no recollection of many of the previous night's events, that was the point that I accepted my disease and started seeking out the help that I needed for my addiction.
At some point you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you really like who is looking back at you, and if not, what do you need to do to change what you see...
You can do this, if you have been reading you know there is a ton of support and information here, take the step of acceptance and start healing your body, mind, and soul.
At some point you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you really like who is looking back at you, and if not, what do you need to do to change what you see...
You can do this, if you have been reading you know there is a ton of support and information here, take the step of acceptance and start healing your body, mind, and soul.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome to SR!
How to deal with stress. Well first thing I try to do about situations I find stressful is think, will this prevent me from eating or having a roof over my head? If not then I classify them as annoying, not stressful.
Another trick I use is ask myself if there is anything I can to today to change the situation. If answer is no, then it's not in my control, classify as annoying.
How to deal with stress. Well first thing I try to do about situations I find stressful is think, will this prevent me from eating or having a roof over my head? If not then I classify them as annoying, not stressful.
Another trick I use is ask myself if there is anything I can to today to change the situation. If answer is no, then it's not in my control, classify as annoying.
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Hey Zach,
Welcome to SR. Keep posting & keep sharing. This thing called addiction is not easy & quitting can seem like death. However, the choice to drink is all yours. You have to choose sobriety & you have to accept that you will never have a "normal" relationship with alcohol. You need to come to terms with that.
Keep coming back, the love & support here is paramount...
Welcome to SR. Keep posting & keep sharing. This thing called addiction is not easy & quitting can seem like death. However, the choice to drink is all yours. You have to choose sobriety & you have to accept that you will never have a "normal" relationship with alcohol. You need to come to terms with that.
Keep coming back, the love & support here is paramount...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
“I drink to escape. I need help. I've been through an inpatient program but I didn't complete the 30 days. I don't like being in a controlled environment.”
I was undisciplined when I was still drinking and had a lot of I wants and I don’t likes. Well I needed to hear and understand those things or die as it was put to me.
I finally BFTGOG started following directions from people who knew a lot more than me. IT WORKED!
We are dealing with alcohol, cunning, powerful, baffling and insidious. Alcoholism is progressive and is only arrest able by not having it in the system. Like it or not.
Life will get much better if we let it and don’t pick up the first drink. If we continue to drink life will become very miserable, your choice.
BE WELL
“I drink to escape. I need help. I've been through an inpatient program but I didn't complete the 30 days. I don't like being in a controlled environment.”
I was undisciplined when I was still drinking and had a lot of I wants and I don’t likes. Well I needed to hear and understand those things or die as it was put to me.
I finally BFTGOG started following directions from people who knew a lot more than me. IT WORKED!
We are dealing with alcohol, cunning, powerful, baffling and insidious. Alcoholism is progressive and is only arrest able by not having it in the system. Like it or not.
Life will get much better if we let it and don’t pick up the first drink. If we continue to drink life will become very miserable, your choice.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 8
Thank you guys for your responses. I can have my mind strong for what seems like an eternity, even though it's only a week. Then once I encounter the slightest bit of stress in life (which happens to everyone) it gives in. I need guidance and am currently looking for the right program to get into. Group meetings helped, but I'm more of a 1 on 1 person. I'm always going to try to get better. The uphill battle is so hard, but I know that the top is so much better.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Zach, you will find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting. We do understand how hard this is, and how it destroys one's life. You can learn healthy ways to deal with stress. Most of us have had to do that. Listening to music, exercising, a good book, playing with a pet - many things can help to relieve stress.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Early recovery is so hard, but it's possible to get through it, otherwise there wouldn't be all these great sober people here 
I spent every spare minute I had on here. Accountability was a big part of it and joining a 'class of..' thread really helped me. I also did stuff to make getting the booze harder, changed my route home from work, had a bath and put my PJs on as soon as I got in, or just went to bed, even though I couldn't sleep. I am sure there are more practical solutions but there is just no way to eliminate stress completely. And even if life is pretty unstressful there will always be something. I swear the closest I came to relapse is when I spilt porridge on a clean stove! But in time it levels out and you'll find stress won't bother you as much. Ride it out, you can do this
I spent every spare minute I had on here. Accountability was a big part of it and joining a 'class of..' thread really helped me. I also did stuff to make getting the booze harder, changed my route home from work, had a bath and put my PJs on as soon as I got in, or just went to bed, even though I couldn't sleep. I am sure there are more practical solutions but there is just no way to eliminate stress completely. And even if life is pretty unstressful there will always be something. I swear the closest I came to relapse is when I spilt porridge on a clean stove! But in time it levels out and you'll find stress won't bother you as much. Ride it out, you can do this Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 8
Thanks a lot hypo, as weird as this seems, I feel as if my body knew I was almost done with the withdrawal so I feel like I was being more susceptible. Or is that farfetched? That's my addiction talking to me again
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
Hi Redskins. Heart goes out to you. But to answer your question (and you're gonna be like that's not going to work) but I sit down put my head down and take 5 really deep breaths through my nose out my mouth. I know too easy and stupid but it usually works. While I'm breathing I think. What's the worse that's going to happen? It usually resolves in 5-10 min. It's usually a very long 5-10 min but I've looked at the clock and that's all it is.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Your "go to" response for dealing with stress is alcohol. You're going to have to find an alternative. Think of dealing with stress in two parts. First, although it will be impossible to eliminate all stress from life, there may be some things you can identify which can reduce overall stress levels. Do the practical things first. Also, with regard to overall stress levels, you should STRONGLY consider meditation. The research is there to support the fact that regular practice of it reduces overall stress levels.
Secondly, you will need a different "go to" behavior to substitute for drinking when the stress levels get periodically difficult to cope with. Have some short term solutions like exercise, talking with someone etc. Also examine your thinking patterns very closely. Sometimes the way we think about things is what causes the stress rather than the external events in and of themselves.
All the best to you.
Secondly, you will need a different "go to" behavior to substitute for drinking when the stress levels get periodically difficult to cope with. Have some short term solutions like exercise, talking with someone etc. Also examine your thinking patterns very closely. Sometimes the way we think about things is what causes the stress rather than the external events in and of themselves.
All the best to you.
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