Isaidyesyesyes

I haven't been on this forum for a long time. I dont know what the purpose of

this post is. maybe it's a cry for help or maybe a deterrent for alcoholics

thinking about taking a two way trip back to hell, or maybe I just need to vent,

a way to try to externalize what I'm feeling. I woke up an hour ago, it was one

of those times where I finally got enough sleep to sober up. I had no dreams I

was sleeping so peacefully then wham, alcohol withdrawals.The sweating,

shaking, anxiety, emphases on the shaking I can barely type right now.The

worst part, I don't even know how it happened. It's like I lose control, I go on

auto pilot. I don't need water, I don't need food I don't need anything that I

need to survive except for the one thing that's killing me. now I have to drink.

I dont want to. I was supposed to start work 17 minutes ago and I was

supposed to be there for the last 3 days but I had a really bad "flu". they're

understanding a lot of guys at work have been sick lately. the problem is even

now that I realize that I really screwed up and it's time to get my head on

straight and go back..I cant I need to go to the doctor and beg for a valium

prescription. I need to tell a receptionist that I'm there for alcohol

withdrawals.I need to see her look at me in disgust, and I cant go back to work

for a couple days because I'm going to be going through hell. thank god I'll

have the weekend to try and taper off then switch to valium and hopefully be

well enough for work on monday. I doubt it though. I know where I am, and I

know that when I'm in this spot it's a week before I can come back.

I relapsed because I'm still young and young people drink. I've never been the

type to just have a 6 pack and call it quits that's so pointless for an alcoholic.

gee these beers are starting to make me feel pretty good and make me forget

about all my problems and induce bliss I think it's time to stop. I knew I was

going to get really drunk but the thing that mind boggles me is that once I

start I have no off switch.I wake up days later in the same spot I am now.

every time , worse every time. any alcoholics who are reading this please dont

go back to this. I was told that it always gets worse and never better and I

didnt believe it. my ego told me I have free will. this disease or phenomenon

or whatever it is steals your soul, your free will, it takes you over. Free will is a

luxury that alcoholics/addicts can't afford.

anyways I'm done venting.


take, care

SoberLeigh

Hi, Isaidyes. Glad that you posted.

Please go to your doctor to discuss your drinking and for assistance in detox. Don't worry about what the receptionist thinks; do this for yourself.

After you have detoxed, you can put a plan together to achieve long-term sobriety.

We are here for you 24/7/365.

Nuke

Take that first step to get help. It may be uncomfortable to have that discussion, but it is the only way you will get better. I had to have a similar discussion with my Dr a few weeks ago, while it sucked to have to admit that I have a problem, I am in SUCH a better place now than I was then.

Get it done, swallow your pride, and get better, the grass IS greener on this side of the fence You got this, we are all here to help support you!

Thepatman

^^
This

Soberwolf

A trip to the Dr is wise i agree with Leigh dont worry about the receptionist do this for you

Im still young (ish) at 32 i got sober at 31 and ive been sober for near 19 months

If you want to quit and stay sober its a choice there is always a choice

if i thought i was getting a bad deal out of sobriety do you think i would stay sober ?

my life and so many others are better now because of sobriety yours can be too

You can detox at hospital or ask Dr for help i really hope you choose to stay sober

Isaidyesyesyes

I know why I posted here now. You guys have nothing but support and understanding for what I'm going through. Subconsciously I knew it would help me feel a little better and that's why I woke up and posted. Thank you. My girlfriend just woke up and she is fed up. I dont blame her though. she doesnt even drink and I'm in a pretty pathetic state right now. I'm supposed to be at work, I'm supposed to be working towards our future.I always seem to seek help and cry out for help and when it finally comes I push it away

Nuke

It took me a LONG time to admit that I had a problem, I have been an alcoholic ever since my days in the Navy. I realized that I needed to seek out help when I was drunk and thinking about needing to get help. I was more convinced to get help when I was drunk than when I was semi-sober the following morning. Don't push it away for prolong it, go get the help you need, life will be much better.

Cecilia44

Agree so much with what everyone else said. Isaidyesyesyes, you can do this! Go see the Dr., to heck with the receptionist. You'll talk to her once for about 5 minutes and that is it. Who cares? Do this for you ... you can do it and we are right here with you every step of the way.

Dee74

Good to see you again I saidyesyesyes - some great advice here man

D

Anna

Yes, this disease will steal your very soul. That's its intention.

But, you can stop it now. We know this is hard, but you can do it.

Serenidad

So sorry to hear you're strugging. It sounds like a nightmare! A nightmare that I NEVER want to go back to! Grab a helping hand and climb out! As others have said, consult your doctor. You can do it...don't give up! I've been struggling all day & your post really helped me remember why I don't want to drink today. You're in my prayers. (((HUG)))

Dave36

I was you 31 days ago man. I was in very bad shape. Only a month later I'm so much better. You can do it. I agree you should go to a Dr. or is there a detox center near you. I've done that. They make you as comfortable as possible with meds. You'll sleep for 3 days.

Isaidyesyesyes

thanks for all the support. unfortunately the closest detox center is about an 8 hour drive from where I live.I'm in northern Canada in a pretty remote town. but I'm going to see my dr. tomorrow and I'm pretty sure he'll help to get me better. Maybe even admit me to the ER. I just woke up again and I'm hurting again. worse then before. But I'm gonna eat something, and drink enough to keep the withdrawals at bay.

SoberLeigh

Great to hear that you are seeing your doctor tomorrow, Isaidyes.

Is anyone with you?

Soberwolf

Sounds good about dr tomorrow isaidyesyesyes keep reading keep posting bud

You got tons of support here bud have you joined class of january ? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-24.html

Ppl getting sober around same time as each other well worth checking out

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Isaidyes!!