Pissed off!! Need Reassurance that I can do this.
 

Well, long story short I was 2 days short of three weeks without a drop. Friday came around, very stressful work week and put the family dog down. Instead of hitting the gym or meditating I pulled out the mickey. Didn't get hammered but nonetheless drank. Saturday night drank a little more than that and woke feeling like crap and full of guilt. So now I find myself back on day 4 and back to the drawing board. The worst part of it is I was really starting to feel rejuvenated after having 19 days under my belt. Thanks in advance for all your support and suggestions.

Just lost my dog. She was my angel. I feel like part of my soul is gone. Just keep trying that is all you can do. I feel like no one understands my loss are really cares. I drink a lot when she died. Now I am 3 days sober. Losing my mine. I know getting sober is what I have to do. It is so hard and I have never cried so much in my life.

Hey there ,
Life and death is full of up's and down's , if we are sober if we drink things happen regardless . .
My life with alcohol included was mostly rubbish, sober there are far better days and the painful days pass quicker and you go through things naturally feeling stuff .

Sometimes i worried i'd fall apart but it only FELT like that it wasn't real .

Early sobriety , the first few months is a wild ride feeling things i'd not for quite some time and not being able to get away from those feelings, you just got to sit with them and keep on.

Time is a great healer , give yourself more sober time, you can totally do this ..

keep on :You_Rock_

m

I'm sorry for your loss.
Life can often put us in the firing line before we're really ready for it.

Thats why it's so so important to have a strategy planned for days like these.

Have a support group and use it. Talk through your problems issues and grief with others, run, bike, scream, shout...do anything but drink.

You slipped - but you can get up again Gonzo. You can do this :)

D

thanks for the support people. to be honest it wasn't the death that spurred it so much. the dog had a place in my heart for sure but not enough to lead me to drink. just another excuse. it was more the busy week, feeling keyed up and being close to three weeks again that got the better of me.

I have had six months dry before back in 09' so I know it's possible, but I need to find ways to keep my anxiety and excitement in check.

Hi, thank you for the hope. I have been down this road and a few rehabs. Wish one had been in London. I would have stayed there. Someone told me once that all the drinking does not bring back people that I have loss. That goes for dogs also. I am feeling so angry at myself for wasting so many years of my life. I have a hard time w AA here in this cowtown I live in. I have not connected w hardly anyone here in the program. I am a serial relasper and feel like I need a new town w new faces in AA. Omg you have no clue. This is not London, New York or New Orleans. I know that sounds like a big excuse. I have been trying AA here for years. It is what it is and not many to choose from. The only game in town. Wich really sucks. I am not bashing AA. Because I need the support and will go. I also know there is other choices out there. I can not do this alone so I have to go to AA. I am venting here because I need to. I can not tell people in AA how I truly feel. They would shoot me down in a minute. So here I am writing and venting to get through another night without Crown Royal. Thank you for being there.

I hope both of you can work through this - it must be difficult but you CAN do it.

Sounds like you need an escape plan for when things get bad and the urge is right there.

Sending prayers and thoughts of healing your way.

Dont beat yourself up mate, we've all been there. Put youre feet up with a nice camomile and get your head into a good book or learn guitar. Watch black books for a laugh. In 6 months you will look back on now as just another stepping stone to the new sober you. Congrats on 3 days

Just did the same exact thing but for different reasons. I hear you loud and clear ... after a crap week and losing your pup I likely would have found comfort in the drink as well if only to numb the feelings/stress/pain for a bit. Must find other alternatives. I am telling myself this but continue to struggle with what those might be. I have never been 6 months sober before but I like to think one day I might ... today I am happy with another day three. Hang in there and thanks for posting .... it always helps to know others are in your boat.

Hi.

For a long time AA has expanded by people who got a coffee pot and a meeting room to start another meeting for whatever reason.

I found I needed to do much more than sit in the back row and complain. I needed to get active by making coffee, setting up the hall, participating in the meetings, cleaning up, participating in service work and meetings, going on commitments and on and on. It’s called being active and embraces the way the program works, helping other alcoholics.

It’s helped keep me sober and that’s the bottom line.

“IF IT WORKS DON’T FIX IT.”

BE WELL

Well done on day 4 the past is the past we cant change it but we can remember and move forward with acceptance

i would print out this thread to keep to remind yourself in times of urges/cravings

And i 5000% agree with D's post having a plan helps massivly

you have our full support Gonzo

Hi and welcome rebelyell :)

Have you considered online meetings - most recovery approaches have them now, not only AA...but other groups like SMART and LifeRing too?

D

Go at things again Gonzo!!

Tweak your plan though, what's gonna happen tomorrow, being Friday again? plan ahead for the next stressful day, as I guarantee there will be another at some stage but we can't keep reaching for alcohol, we need a new way way forward!!

You can do this!! :)