rollingstone

i really want to change. i need to change. but there's alway that part of me that says ''do it tomorrow''.. im doing it right now

rollingstone

i dont want to change for me, i want to change for others

Wastinglife

My family thought I was doing great and on the path to success. I hid my drinking from everyone as much as possible. I started to isolate more and more because I was terrified of people knowing how bad my drinking had become.

I would go meet people for a few drinks, act sober, but I would have booze at home stashed away and drink until I passed out on the sofa at midnight. Wake up at 7am, drain a beer and go about my day until I could hit booze alone again

Rollingstone, you do need to reach out to someone close to you in your life. We are here for you, but having direct contact is better for the loneliness.

Kafkaesque

Don't feel ashamed for not telling anyone, that comes with time. I used to tell others and had myself convinced that the drunk version of myself was the best version of myself - I would volunteer to help my family with chores, I was more generous with my friends, I felt happier, I was more productive..... until I realized that none of that was true. It was a lie the alcohol told me.

I told all of my friends and family my dirty secrets and how bad off I was I wanted to put myself in a position where I couldn't hide anymore because it was the only way I would ever get sober. But I spent many nights taking "am I an alcoholic?" and reading sober recovery before I got to that point.

I wanted to do it to get sober to make my husband happy again, but the more time I have spent sober the more I have come to realize that I am happier sober. Alcohol makes us think that we are alone and have nothing but the bottle. But in reality, the alcohol is just hiding all of those wonderful things in your life because if you realize all the great things about life, you won't need alcohol anymore.

For me, I woke up one morning and finally wanted to change. I knew that there was no looking back and made it 6 months. I've made some mistakes along the way but I'm over 50 days sober again, and this time I'm going to make it for good.

Have you considered going to meetings or rehab? If not, reading on SR and posting on here has helped me. I was feeling tempted to drink again just yesterday and posting on here helped me realize all that I would be giving up. Stick around and things WILL get better.

Mikie9

Personally I found something else to do with my time. Sounds simple, but going home and drinking alone becomes "what you do", no matter the things you do when not drinking. So I tried something else... not doing that anymore.

It takes awhile, but it is doable if you can trust that even if it is boring etc, that you will learn to fill your time. There are many examples from us here that did just that. Find new hobbies. Suffer through the "I gotta drink.I gotta drink.I gotta drink.I gotta drink." moments, and see yourself on the other side. Life is so much simpler and fulfilling once we stop thinking being drunk is all we CAN do. You are young, fight it now because it just gets worse as you continue on. Imagine how you drink now, imagine how you will drink 20 years from now and how you will wonder why you didn't make this change sooner, when it mattered on the outcome of your life.

This place is great for support on this change, use it

Mags1

Hi rollingstone, I've been stopped a year and a half now.

I didn't think there was life without booze, his wrong I was.

Give it a go, what have you got to lose.

countrygirl2014

It took me years to finally stop. I was on here last March and couldn't go more than 2 days. I went to AA meetings a loooong time ago, and then would say screw it and go for drinks afterwards. I just stopped. I woke up one day, hungover, and didn't want to do it anymore. After years of trying and saying I had a problem, I finally did it. I stayed in, I drank cranberry juice and tonic, I ate whatever the hell I wanted and slept...a lot. Everyday I would say to myself I am not drinking today and just do it one day at a time. All those "just one days" added up to 100 and something. The first week or two is incredibly hard and painful. Everyone I know drinks. Now that they know I quit, they don't care like I thought they would. You thinking this way now is the best first step you can take. It is truly such an awesome way to live. Everyday is different and not scary. When drinking everyday was the same and I often wondered if tonight was the night the cops would find me driving. I wish you the best of luck. Come here as often as you can, there are some great people here who will help you by sharing what worked for them.

Jennifer

Mikie9

What country girl said I can't like it enough.

Just stop. you said you want too, so do it. There are many ways to help you through it, but ultimately you want to stop, right? So stop. Come what may.

You can't tell me that stopping is worse than how you feel after the initial buzz becomes a drunken mess every night and that it is harder to live with. I mean you can try, but you will only be lying to yourself, like we all have done.

As mags said, what do you have lose? I can list many things I "lost", and only a few I have gained, but the things I have gained outweigh the lost things 10 fold.

You just gotta try, that is the answer. At least it was for me. Isn;t near as bas as I once thought, once I gave it a real try.

Zebra1275

I live in a college town. In my area there are several AA meetings near campus geared toward younger alcoholics. Go on the web and google AA meetings in your town or call the main AA office in your area and ask. But don't limit yourself to just meetings with younger folks, some of us old veterans have a wealth of experience to offer.

rollingstone

i decided not to drink today. and so far so good. i cleaned my entire apartment. took my dog for three walks already. i feel okay so far. i even threw away my ''special'' glass. i'm just afraid what will happen tonight when i end up alone in my room

Soberwolf

You can do this RS you dont need alcohol to be you your fine as you are

Alcoholism only gets worse

know if you feel funny later on thats your addiction or AV and the best way to counter it is to be here & talk about it expose the AV it will destroy you given the chance

it nearly killed me because i thought i didnt have a problem

i tried to get sober for other ppl it didnt work out

i had to do it for me ...i was scared confused & alone when i sobered up i had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in the beginning and it was hard but it got easier & youl meet real friends who will support & advise you along the way

You can do this i got sober at 31just know getting & staying sober is an upgrade of self things get better

Nuke

Don't end up alone in your room, head over to your parents place, get involved in a sports event, go buy a xBox and play that until your fingers get raw. There are any number of things you can do and not have to include alcohol. I know college is a trying time, but I bet there are alcohol free activities that are planned on the weekends, and most likely some close AA meetings that will meet tonight and over the next few days.

You just need to make the decision that you DON'T want/need to drink. I read something on here a few days ago, I was still in a fog and I cannot remember where it was or who said it, so I am going to do my best to paraphrase what was said, this is what really hit home with me...

Hope this helps, you got this, take the bull by the horns and make the choice to better your life, health, and finances!

rollingstone

thank you all so much for your posts and i'm really glad i found this forum. at this point i'm just relieved i can share my problems with other people because i can't make myself tell anyone in my life.. i'm too ashamed i let it get this far. many times i didni't eat just so that i can buy a cheap bottle of anything..
i feel like i'm losing myself and i've had enough

Nuke

Oh yeah, I forgot this too...hanging out here at SR is a sure fired way to stay sober! Read, read, read, and read some more, there is a TON of knowledge on here that will help you make better decisions in your life in regards to your addiction. Most everyone on here is an admitted alcoholic, or addict in some shape or form, you are not alone, we have ALL been where you are at and are here to support you!

Soberwolf

Believe me when i say you can turn this around and youl never have to feel like that again

You can pm anytime if you want to talk/vent etc

Just know you have support from ppl who have felt the way you do now

hang in the bud keep posting & keep reading

countrygirl2014

I am so glad you are here. Come here first before you have any cravings. Always ask yourself why you want a drink. Are you hungry, tired? Naps saved my butt a lot. It gives your brain and body a chance to heal. Listen to Craig Becks audiobook "alcohol lied to me". Take suggestions from those who have been there. Your dog is probably thrilled you are paying attention to him!

Jennifer